Long Engagement

Guest list
Budget
Venue
Those are the big three to start off with!

I agree with Melle. Start by figuring out your budget/estimated guest count with your fiance, then look at venues. Once you have those, then look at vendors (photographer, DJ, etc). One thing that helped me figure out a planning timeline was the checklist that The Knot has on their website. Wedding Wire has one too. You enter your wedding date, and it'll tell you what you need to focus on each month. Happy wedding planning!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Melle and Lisa.
This helps me a lot I really appreciate it 😊

View Quoted Comment Melle got it right on!


Once you choose your venue, some of the other details may become clearer because you’ll probably use your venue for inspiration: colors, style, decor, etc.

When I first started I was all over the place. But I agree with Melle, budget, guest list, venue. Once you get those down the rest kind of start to fall in place easier.

Google "wedding planning checklist"

WW has a handy dandy checklist right up there, under "Planning Tools".

So does The Knot, most wedding planning books, and a host of other websites. Poke around, see which one makes the most sense to your brain. (Or, use at least 3 like I did, to cover all angles.)

Also, don't worry - you've got LOTS of time.

We started with our budget, then estimated a guest count, and then found our venue! We booked our venue about a year in advance

Definitely come up with a possible guest list and budget so you can figure out which venue to book. I think those are the biggest and primary things to figure out

Initially I didn't want a long engagement. I was engaged last August and our first wedding date was June 2020 (so 10 months). We first postponed to December 2020, now it's December 2021 which is 26 months. We are legally married but I will now be planning for over 2 years. Most of my details were already planned considering I had planned for the shorter 10 month timeline, but get your venue, budget, guest list first-then your gown about a year out. Also photographers and entertainment tend to book up fast, so those are also up there in priority.

First have some fun. Yay you're engaged. Celebrate that in the ways you want to be it announcements, a special dinner, etc. Enjoy the initial bubbly feeling. Post the shiney ring on social media and forums. Jump up and down with joy etc.



This is the hard part but you and fiance need to figure out what a wedding is to both of you. Family traditions vary and you may be surprised that he wants a ballroom wedding and you want a barn. This actually happened with me and hubs and we compromised with a garden location that we both adore. I think he loves it more. He wanted a 50 person guest list and I want a 10... We compromised and had 20 because the affordable venue we found could only hold 20. There will probably be a lot of disagreements and fighting that is normal. Just make sure you fight fair and fight the disagreements / not the person. My husband and I compromised a lot but we didn't compromise ourselves.



You need to get a rough draft of the guest list before you look at venue. Make sure you include vendors in the head count if they are part of the head count (facility holds x amount of people). Make sure you include yourselves. The guest will be the most expensive part of the wedding. My best rule for this is look at who you call / text. Have you/future spouse had a personal text or called them in 3-6 months. Is this a person you would take to $100 dinner. If you and future spouse don't like them, they are not a guest (even if they invited you to their wedding or they are family). If one of you doesn't like them but they are important to the other, they are usually a guest but talk it out. Give yourself a 10% cushion for error.



Talk wedding details that future spouse isn't interested in on here or with friends or in other nice vent places. There were wedding details my spouse cared about like ties (I don't care about ties) and there were wedding details I cared about (he didn't care about my shoes). And then there were the wedding details neither cared for like centerpieces for us. It's okay not to care about if the table clothes are ivory or white, they just want to marry you and vice versa.



You start with a budget that will written with what you think things cost and may need to be revised or revisited when you have a more realistic number. There is a area price estimator on this app which gives an average. Don't go into tons of debt for party. All you need to get legally married is you, future spouse, legal paperwork, and an officiant. The rest is icing. Lots of people don't spend 100k on a party. My budget was 2.5k and got surprised by family chipping in.


Then you pick a venue that encompasses the theme and style you want. If you are on a tight budget, look into free / low cost venues like public parks, arboretum, historic court house / town hall maybe. My venue was a free chapel and it was gorgeous.



Then you pick a dress 1 year out for the best selection. You're too far out at 2 years but you can look. The problem with now is dress styles get discontinued and your size may change which will be expensive (up or down). Picking out a dress at 6-9 months is cutting it close but you can find a dress the day before your wedding, you just will have a very slim selection. In summary, 1 year gives the best selection for the best price.




I strongly encourage looking into a very nice planned elopement for reasons of cost, easier to plan, and current wedding climate where the economy is unstable. But I will say this to everyone.


I also recommend the knot's checklist where the task are pretty well timed out to you need to do this by x month.

View Quoted Comment This is extremely helpful advice. Thank you so much.
Luckily my fiance and I have the same taste as far as the wedding decor goes. We have a few idea laid out on pinterest. We had made a really rough draft of the guest list a month after our engagement to get an idea of what we were going to be dealing with. We are currently working out our budget and looking into some venues. We havent fully decided yet on one, but again thank you for this information. I really do appreciate it ❤

I had a 25 month engagment! It goes quick and so much to do but its nice because its okay to take a week or two to not plan or to save.

I was purpose to June 8, 2019 and getting married July 10, 2021. So im a little less than half way! I finally have all my vendors booked and started DYI decor projects. So much to do and buy so worth it to take the time to do research on the vendor your paying for and to figure out what you want.

First enjoy being engaged, congrats!

Second talk about a date with you FH.

Do a rough estimate on guest list.

Figure a budget

Look into venues or wedding looks you want

than itll start to flow in slowly!

I am also planning my wedding far in advanced, got engaged of January 2020 and am getting married August of 2022. The reason my fiance and I planned it for so far away is because we're paying for a majority of the wedding so we wanted to be sure we had plenty of time to save up to ensure we had everything we wanted for our day! First thing I did was book a venue because, in my eyes, that is the most important part because without a date you can't really book anything else as all vendors NEED a date! My coordinator at my venue said to wait to start booking vendors until atleast January of 2021 as most are not booking that far into 2022 now. Happy planning!!

I am also having a long engagement. Engaged in July 2020 getting married May 2022. Even before getting engaged I always knew what date I wanted. Before I even started looking for venues for that date, I came up with my guest list. I wanted to ensure that any venue I was looking at was going to accommodate my guests. I also knew I wanted an outdoor ceremony and no church wedding so I decided to look at venues that offer an outdoor ceremony area. Once the venue is booked for your date then you can start looking at different vendors, because no set date means you really can’t book with vendors. Some are booking already for 2022 but some aren’t just yet. I was lucky to be able to book 3 vendors already this year for my wedding and one told me they weren’t booking yet so I’m waiting till next year to book that one. I hope this helps a little and have fun planning !

In these times, it's good to start planning early! I started with ceremony venue, guest list, then reception venue. I got my dress very early on too. Then covid hit and I had to stop planning! But those are my tips for early on.

View Quoted Comment Oh and last pieces of advice. Opinions are like @ssholes. Everyone has one.... You're about to hear a lot of them.




Say what you feel and be who you are because the people who matter won't mind and the people who mind don't matter. Words only hurt if you let them.



Vendor contracts are like water. If it's not clear, don't drink it. Don't sign it. Don't be afraid to ask questions about it. If they are experienced and good, they don't fear questions and answers them all the time.

Patience and kindness will always win over temper and anger. Somehow and someway there will be a hiccup and it will try your patience. I do not wish this on you, everyone just has one. It's okay to be angry but you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Just remember to take deep breaths, count to 10, maybe even invest in a good glitter jar for stress relief, but try to remain calm and bride on.



My wedding dress being altered wrong 2 weeks before my wedding and having to replan my wedding 3 months out because my reception vendor cancelled tried mine heavily. David's bridal replaced the dress, altered it correctly and there were no additional cost. It was ready 4 days before my wedding. And we found an even better reception options that looked great. The back up was even better and the best wedding food I ever had.

I have been engaged for over 2 years, we are getting in April 2021.
In the beginning, I researched a lot to find out what we really wanted, then we figured out our budget, then the guest list and then the venue!

Congratulations!! A couple of things you can do to get you started. Agree with your partner on a realistic budget very important. Start figuring out your wedding style. Are you a roustic chic, minimalist or bling( just to name a few)? Where do y’all see your wedding taking place?