Long engagement - how did you do it?

I have no idea, but I’m in the same boat as you. We’ve been engaged for almost 2 years now, and I’m still not sure how to bring up wedding things with the family.
So, following in case someone has good advice!

View Quoted Comment So sorry you’re going through this too, but you’re not alone!

Hey Anna,
So first off welcome to WedingWire. No matter how long you have you'll find a community here that will gather around amd support you.
Now as to the rest of your quandry...
My fiance and I started dating July 5, 2016. We got engaged December 4, 2016. Our wedding is August 3, 2019. So we'll have been engaged two and a half years by the time we get married. A number of things factored into that decision bu the whys are somewhat irrelevant to this discussion.
So, how do we do it? It's hard. I'll be honest. There have been times when we're both frustrated by it but when we take a step back and remind ourselves of the wisdom in making that decision we always reaffirm that we're making the right choice. (Literally talking to him now and he's bummed but affirming that it's the best thing to do for us.)
In terms of talking with your parents, I'd give them a little time. My parents were a bit wary at first and honestly were waiting to see if it was going to happen. Wedding talk before a year and a half or year before didn't happen for me. But when they saw that it was really and truly happening, they jumped in pretty well and have been helping with all the decisions. Given that you're pretty far out I'd give it some time. Let them see that you two are steadily walking toward marriage and eventually they'll probably come around. If they're still doing this when you're a year and a half or a year out I'd try and determine what reasons are causing them to act like that - are they concerned for you? Are there reasons they have that you can talk through with them and sooth their worries? Etc.
Hang in there. It feels like forever, but you'll get there. When you get therr, that one year count down is oh so sweet!

Hi Anna!! My engagement will be a little over a year, got engaged 12/20/17 and will be tying the knot 3/24/19. Our reasoning (1) was because we wanted to try and line up a meaningful date like you guys are doing. Our dating anniversary is 9/24 so the 24th was a special day for us. (2) we wanted to have time to plan everything out without feeling rushed or stressed out, so we didn't want to push on a 2018 wedding that would rush us to plan all of our wedding details. Why are your parents so disconnected to the whole wedding idea? It seems like there may be a reason that they're not happy to hear about it. My mom has been my bff through all of my wedding planning and its meant so much to me to have her there and have her opinion. 1 year out is a good time to start 1st phases of planning if you already haven't, possibly try reintroducing the topic with ideas at hand. Maybe have some venue info, color combinations, etc to show and discuss, let them know how much you'd appreciate their input, or if their reasoning for their behavior towards your wedding is unknown then you should ask why they feel such a way and maybe you guys can come to better understanding and middle point, good luck!

Well my enagagement isn't as long but it's 9 months away. 13 mths initially until we moved up the date due to the season. My advice to you is if they have a issue with the topic speak on it. Lay it out the table. Its your day no matter when it is period.

We have a two year engagement and the big day is finally only two weeks away. We handled it by working on wedding planning the whole time, one small thing at a time, and trying to view it as bonus time to really hunt down the best prices/options for us. It wasn't until we hit the One Month Out mark that it started to feel like we're sick of waiting and planning. If your parents aren't being supportive, I would just...not talk with them about it, unfortunately. You deserve positivity around your wedding and if they aren't able to give you that, find it elsewhere in each other and family/friends who are happy for you.

Hi date twin! So I'm not having as long of an engagement (we got engaged may 26th of this year), so I dont have too much advice. But were about a year out! That will fly by! Whenever you get annoyed about how long it's taking, come on here and give others input and get a little invested in ww weddings. it'll distract you, at least for a bit. As far as your parents, I really hope they come around, but if they dont, dont let that diminish your excitement. Talk to people who are excited for you, your friends or other family, or post here! Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Hi Sherrie,

thank you for all of your kind words. Your insights are truly valuable and appreciated. I will be sure to take your advice to heart.

Seeing as we’re a year out maybe I can have a candid conversation with my father. I’m confident they know we’re progressing forward with everything, but you make a great point of trying to determine their reasons of being so distant.

thank you again

We’ll have been engaged for two and a half years next week, and it’s kind of hard to believe there’s only 3 weeks to go! It’s been such a “distant future” thing for so long now.

I don’t know your reasons for a long engagement, but maybe one way to look at it is practically. We have been able to save money for the things we want, and we had no trouble booking vendors because we were so far in advance! We definitely can’t wait to be married, but we kept telling ourselves that the wait was worth it.

As for parents, ours were pretty supportive. I held off on wedding talk unless my mom brought it up for the most part. Hopefully in time, once you get closer to your date and have more to do, your families will get more excited and involved!

View Quoted Comment Hi Alejandra!

congrats on your engagement! You’re almost there!

i truly appreciate the advice. Im thinking I need to have an honest conversation with my dad to start. They are happy for us and we all have a solid relationship, but it’s like walking on glass when talking about the wedding. So since it’s a year out maybe this is a good time to reintroduce the topic.

Thanks for your advice and sharing your story!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for the advice! Definitely need to have a heart to heart

View Quoted Comment Hey AJ!

Thank you for providing insights and your helpful opinion. You’re right, we deserve to be involved around positivity. I’m thinking I’m going to have a talk with my dad but if it doesn’t work or results in negativity then do exactly what you suggest and just not talk to them about it. I love them and they’ll be there that day of course, but we need to do what’s best for us

View Quoted Comment Yay date twins!! Thank you for your kind words! They’re truly appreciated. At the end of the day, we’re doing this to marry our best friends!

I was engaged for 3 years. Planning the wedding for April next year. I didn’t talk about it or bring up wedding talk with my family till we officially started planning. It wasn’t on my mind at all. But I didn’t mind having to wait, and not deal with the stress

View Quoted Comment Yours is practically around the corner! So glad to hear that. I think i just get discouraged because. I have been planning and booking vendors and they could care less. But oh well maybe when I get to the nitty gritty that might be better then. Thanks so much for Sharing and listening!

We got engaged 9/1/17 & our wedding is on our anniversary 8/9/19. I honestly appreciate it, bc it has given us time to save for the wedding of our dreams & I can have it on our anniversary date. Our parents aren’t involved either so don’t feel bad. I wanted them to be at first but realized that it’s only natural for me to be more excited bc it’s our wedding. Maybe they aren’t as enthused bc they aren’t able to help financially? You could you possibly just talk to them abt how you’re feeling or talk to others who are interested? They may be more willing to talk closer to date.