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Savvy September 2019

Long distance friend

Amanda, on July 15, 2018 at 2:11 AM Posted in Planning 0 5

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Hi ladies,

So I've been friends with my best friend since high school. She ended up moving to Virginia a couple years ago and we don't talk that often anymore. When we do see each other, it's okay but a bit awkward. I already asked another friend to be my MOH (although we used to talk about being each others MOHs when we were younger). I don't even really want to ask her to be a bridesmaid either, what should I say if she brings it up that I didnt ask??

Help!!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on July 16, 2018 at 10:55 PM

VIP October 2018
Jessica · on July 15, 2018 at 2:18 AM
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Seeing that you're date is over a year away, you can say that you're enjoying being engaged and haven't decided the details yet, and change the subject.
OR
You can say that you and your FH have decided on a smaller party and hope that she will have tons of fun as a guest. Then change the subject.
The key here is to give a short answer, then change the subject 😂
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Champion October 2021
Maren · on July 15, 2018 at 6:19 PM
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Hi Amanda! That is a tough situation.
I would wait and see if the situation arises, as your long distance friend may also have already "felt the distance" too, just as you have, and figured things may have shifted in regards to these childhood plans.
If she does ask or it comes up, then yes, I'd be clear and say something along the lines of going with a smaller party consisting of those you're most currently close with.
Have you sent out your STDs already? Or announced your engagement?
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Savvy September 2019
Amanda · on July 15, 2018 at 6:22 PM
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We announced our engagement in March and she didnt really say that much to me about it. Were having an engagement party in two weeks and will be announcing the bridal party at the engagement party. Just family and a couple close friends
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Savvy June 2020
Claire · on July 15, 2018 at 7:04 PM
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Hopefully she won't mention it! I get the sense that if she hasn't spoken to you much about the wedding, she isn't absolutely expecting to be included. But if she does say something, like @Jessica and @Maren said, just have something short, clear, and polite to say in response, and be sure to tell the truth (i.e. don't say you're trying to keep the wedding party small if you're having 12 bridesmaids) to avoid hurting her. I'm actually in a similar situation and I know it's tough, but the bottom line is that your wedding party should be made up of people who are close to you and who will help you prepare for your big day!
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Super December 2019
Jennifer · on July 16, 2018 at 10:55 PM
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People naturally drift apart over time and what you thought things would be as a kid isnt necessarily how they will be as an adult. If your friend hasnt tried over the time she has been living further away to keep the same closeness as you had as kids she probably also feels the awkwardness and distance that age and physically distance has created and wont be expecting it anymore. But if she does ask I would just say that you have noticed that your relationship is not what it was, not through any fault of either of you but because you are both different people than you were as kids so you chose people you have grown closer to and have more in common with now. If she is still invited say that, but she might be relieved that you arent expecting her to do that kind of work when you arent as close as you used to be.
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