Long distance Bridal shower

I'm having one in my hometown. mostly family and a few family friends who live in town will attend. i invited my bridesmaids (who also grew up there, but don't live there anymore), but they know i don't really expect them to be there unless for some reason they feel like visiting their parents that weekend.

I'm having one in my hometown. mostly family and a few family friends who live in town will attend. i invited my bridesmaids (who also grew up there, but don't live there anymore), but they know i don't really expect them to be there unless for some reason they feel like visiting their parents that weekend.

You're right, you can't host or plan your own shower because that's against etiquette.

I am also three hours from home. My MOH, who is from my hometown but lives 2 hours away, planned one of my showers with her mom, who still lives there. Friends from as far as 2 hours drove in for it and those who couldn't come sent gifts to the hostess for the shower. My mom's friends hosted my other shower and that mostly consisted of family, family friends and my mom's friends that were all local.

PP has great advice, my FSIL had 2 showers. One in her hometown and one in her H's hometown. Idk how that worked out for her local friends.

An other option is to do it when everyone is town, like the day before the wedding in the early afternoon.

I'm sorry hun but you don't host or plan your own bridal shower. It's considered rude/gift-grabby. That's something your family/wedding party hosts for you. Whomever is hosting can certainly ask what you want, what dates work best for you, and for your guest list so they can appropriately invite people. Your wedding isn't until November so there's more than plenty of time for someone to plan one. If someone plans one for you I would expect it to be in like August or around there.

If no one approaches you about hosting one then it won't happen. Sorry dear.

ETA: If it makes you feel any better, I'm assuming I'm not having one. My parents are back up in MA, I have one BM in NY, MOH in California, and the other BM and my in-laws here with me in FL (though my in-laws are about 4 hours away). There's no way that I'm going to have everyone in the same state let alone town before the wedding.

Like others have said, you don't host your own shower. But I live 4 hours from the wedding/my hometown. We invited everyone who lives locally and I just drove up for the weekend.

You really just need to adjust your expectations for a bridal shower. If someone (or multiple someones) offers to throw one for you (whether that's your mom, MOH, work bestie, whoever), tell them what dates work for you and give them a list of people to invite. Then when the day comes don't hold it against anyone if they can't make the 4 hours drive to an optional party.

For example, when my sister got married she had two bridal showers. Our mom threw one in our hometown and she invited the neighbors and high school friends. And our aunts threw one for family where they and my sister currently live (5 hours away from home). I (MOH) was only able to attend the family one since I live 18 hours away and have to pay for airfare.

Now that I am getting married, I'm not having a bridal shower because my friends & family are scattered across the country and it would just be an inconvenience for everyone (including myself).

Let me be clear: I absolutely do not want to host this event, 100% do not want to be in charge. I want to help when it comes to the biggest decision which is where and who. So that it doesn't put that much pressure on my parents or maid of honor

Its clear to me you arent grubbing for gifts or wanting to host. You just want ideas if someone does ask. Im hosting a shower of some kind for 11 people, 6 of whom live over 10 hours away (including the bride). Im looking for creative ways to acknowledge this tradition even tho we have a lot of distance.