Long bridesmaid dress but what shoes

I would let them wear what they want since a long dress you can’t even really tell. Did you want to do photos with them showing shoes or something?

I would let them wear whatever since no one will see their shoes! I had 10 bridesmaids in long dresses and a year and a half later I still don’t know what shoes any of them wore lol.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your response! I had an idea of a shoe photo if they were going to have the same shoes as me but a different color but that’s not happening now so I guess a photo isn’t needed

View Quoted Comment Lol my concern was that I’m super short and they’re all already taller than me so I didn’t want them to get 4” heels and be even taller and have it look awkward because I’m wearing flats

I agree with the previous posters. Let them wear whatever shoes they want. If you want their shoes to be a certain color, I think that's okay, but I don't think it is fair to tell them that they can only wear flats. The fact that they are taller than you whether they are in heels or not shouldn't be a surprise since you obviously knew how tall they are when you picked them. If it really bothers you and you want them in flats then I think you should pay for their alternations since you are the one that wants them in flats.

When I was a bridesmaid, the bride lets us wears what we wanted as long as it’s nude color.
For my wedding, being just under 5 foot tall. I asked all of my bridesmaids who are over 5’2 to wear flats. They are ok with it since they are like 5’6, 5’8. I explained to them reasonably why. I don’t think I am being controlling.

View Quoted Comment I understand your point. I am only 4”7, and my bridesmaids are taller than me. I bought them wedges, same height as mine. We we looking for another pair of shoes for them for the evening, and I we will decide together. I am soooo used to be the shortest at a point it doesn’t matter anymore 🤣

I told my wedding party they can choose what they are comfortable in. Nude color but it doesn’t matter heel height open closed toe etc

I would not make them all wear flats unless you plan on purchasing their shoes. I definitely think it's reasonable to ask them all to wear shoes in a certain color (i.e. silver, nude, etc.) but it does seem a bit controlling to make them wear flats, since they're in long dresses and you won't be able to see their feet anyways. For the record, I am 5 feet tall and all of my bridesmaids were significantly taller than me, and it did not look awkward at all.

My girls ranged in height from 4'11 and 5'6 and they wore knee length dresses. I honestly couldn't tell you what their shoes looked like. I suggested gold or pink gold shoes would look best, I but I didn't actually look at them day of lol. Every wedding that I've been in had a similar guideline of just shoe color.

View Quoted Comment I’m 5’3 and hate wearing heels lol! I have a few bridesmaids who are 5’10 and one who is 4’11 and that isn’t something that ever crossed my mind. I don’t think my pictures look awkward because people are different heights, everyone is unique!

View Quoted Comment It’s funny that you mentioned that because I was actually thinking about buying their shoes for them as part of a gift

I would question what's your venue and picture location? I told my girls that heels would not be a great option because it's an outdoor wedding the "aisle" will actually be a gravel drive and we're doing pictures on the trails. My girls were thrilled with that idea because they don't care for heels to start with. Somehow all of my besties have terrible ankles just like me, and then my cousin has a replacement knee and it's just been hard for her in heels since. I want them to be comfortable.

If there's no terrain reason why heels would not work, then I'd allow them to wear what they feel most comfortable in.

Also wanted to add that I’ve decided to buy their shoes for them so they don’t have to worry about it.

View Quoted Comment Haha Yeahh I’m so short 😂 It’s just life lol

Thank you for all your responses!

I told them nude - whatever they want. One is wearing flats the others will be in heels of some sort. I don't have the energy to micromanage that. I also told them pearl jewelry - I don't care what metal, solid peal, a pear dangle - not into micromanaging that either. I told them the color dress and that I wanted them long - and then... not micromanaging that. The only thing that's a bit odd is my matron of honor has a very visible (think blue!) tattoo - so I got her a shawl and let it go. Honestly, at this point I just want to marry him with our friends and family. One could show up in a latex body suit and I'd still have her walk down the aisle... Let the small stuff go - I promise it's small stuff. I'm 5'1"...

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I think that yes, you can get certainly around this by buying them the shoes. The only other thing to consider is that by having your bridesmaids wear flats, they will likely not be able to wear their dresses again because they would need to be altered to go with flats (unless they're into flats--me, I would never be caught dead without my heels being that I'm only 5 feet tall). Generally when I buy an expensive bridesmaids dress, I'd like to be able to wear it again and get some use out of it, and being required to wear flats would definitely prevent me from being able to wear the dress again. But if you were buying me the shoes and if the dress were not too expensive to begin with, then I'd probably go along to make the bride happy. I think that you buying the shoes would definitely make your bridesmaids more inclined to go along with your vision.

My bridesmaids dresses are long as well and I told them as long as their shoes are black I don't care what they look like.

As someone with foot problems and having had surgery on my foot, I let them where what they wanted for shoes. If you told me I had to wear heels of any kind, I would say NOPE. 2 of my 4 BM's are nurses and a 3rd was 50 yrs old and worked in a factory on her feet for 20 years. We all have foot problems! Let them where what they want.