Lonely planning

I’m sorry to hear that it is strange times we are going through and trying to still find joy in celebrating this important step in your life. I noticed this also not from my family but MOH. She hasn’t mentioned anything at all and I haven’t been able to bounce off ideas from her or anything. It’s awkward because you can’t force someone to take interest either. But hey, this is what this forum is for. I’ve been relying on this community to ask questions or get suggestions about things. You can always reach out to me to if you’d like.

View Quoted Comment Thanks girl! Yeah I’m always searching for someone with the same stories on here. I see your May 2021 I’m July! What have you booked our planned so far?

View Quoted Comment July is a great date 🙂 Yes my original date was actually November 22nd 20 but my fiancé and I agreed to change the date because even after social distancing is over, we want to make sure everybody feels comfortable and it’s all behind us. I think our date change is better anyways. So far venue booked and I said yes to the dress. I wanted to do more but with everything being closed I haven’t been able to do much, how about you?

View Quoted Comment Aw that has got to be rough but i completely understand. Was your venue pretty good about changing the date? So far I have venue, DJ, decorator, cake and photo booth. We have just a big hall so everything needs done. I started to ask bridal party early March but because of everything I wasn’t able to see everyone. I got to ask my MOH and one bridesmaid and I have 6 more to go so I don’t want to ruin the surprise for them but I want to post it on my FB so bad haha

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Yes but I am glad we made the decision early. My venue actually to my surprise did not give any issues in changing the date at all. I am very grateful because I read some awful experiences on here. Oh that is great! You got a lot done before this happened. Venue and decorator are one of the most important things. It sounds like you are having a big wedding, how many guests? Does the rest of your bridal party live locally? I can imagine. I was dying to tell my last bridesmaid and ended up doing it on Facetime but she lives far anyways.

My mom , my MOH (sisters) and one of my bridesmaids have helped me with planning. My other two bridesmaids haven't helped at all not ask ANYTHING about the wedding unless I bring it up. I'm happy that I do have some people to help me , but it bothers me that my other two bridesmaids who are also my cousins don't talk about the wedding. Odd coming from someone who's known you your whole life. They only asked if I was making alternative wedding plans. Sometimes I wonder if they are even happy for me.

View Quoted Comment It's definitely awkward and hard having someone in your wedding who doesn't bring the wedding up because you want to send them things , get their opinion but not overload them.

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Exactly... I did add my MOH to my wedding Pinterest board so she can at least see what I am brainstorming. I am just going to wait on her to chime in and see if she is interested without me throwing it on her.

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You bring up a good point to... if they were genuinely excited for you, they would offer help or advice.

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea! How long have you been planning? I've been engaged since November.

View Quoted Comment Yes that's how I look at it. Sometimes my two other bridesmaids (cousins) won't respond to my messages.

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Yes try it. I hope it helps. It's like a subtle hint I guess.

I got engaged February 2020, so it has not been too long.

Our families and my MOH have been helpful. We asked my parents and my fiancé’s mom to go with us to check out our venue because my parents are paying for the majority of our wedding, and we value all their opinions. My mother also went to the florist with me and dress shopping. My MOH is married and has been in quite a few weddings, so she reached out to me about planning the shower, bridesmaid dresses, and bachelorette party ideas. My fiancé and I drafted guest lists for each of our sides and then consulted our parents for their opinions and to ensure we weren’t forgetting anyone. Other friends said to let them know if I need help, but My “go-to” people have been my mom and MOH. While I know the others probably wouldn’t mind, sometimes having too many people or opinions complicates things!


I would suggest reaching out to them more specifically on how you’d like them involved. Going to meet a particular vendor, asking if they have suggestions for ____, etc. They are most likely more than willing to help but don’t want to overstep their bounds. Because you still have a lot of time before your wedding, they might not even realize how much planning you are currently doing.

View Quoted Comment Oh okay yes, give it some time! Maybe she will come along and it could be with everything going on right after you got engaged that she hasn't thought about it much. I'm not sure if my other two bridesmaids have Pinterest, but my mother did create a Pinterest board the night I got engaged lol for me , my sister/MOH and my other sister who is a Jr Bridesmaid. I guess I should just be thankful that I do have some people, and I am. I just have that thought in the back of mind if the others are happy for me especially since planning is so stressful right now and I could use a lot of support!

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Yes I will be patient.

Yes that is so great she did that. I agree, be thankful you have great people in your corner but I understand how you feel to. I always think it's best to let yourself feel what you do. You have every right. Now you do know who to count on in times of need too. Wedding planning is already stressful and now we are doing it in the middle of a pandemic. If you want an outside opinion, you can always reach out to as well. I am in constant brainstorming mode now

Sorry you’re feeling alone. Hopefully this community will help you along the way. Maybe bring it up to your mom, grandma, and friends that you have some ideas you want bounce off them. With everything going they’re probably just waiting on you to say you’re ready to get the ball rolling. Once you find those one or two people who will be your sounding board just focus on the support you get from them. I have one bridesmaid in particular who has never asked me anything about my wedding, and at first I was hurt because of how close we are, but I realized not everyone is into the whole planning thing. I focus on the support I get from my mom, MOH, and one of my other bridesmaids.

My mom offered to pay for the cake (but I still had to decide on what kind of cake/flavors/display/etc), and I've made sure FH has been involved in the planning (usually with me offering him a couple choices to pick from, or finding out if he has anything he felt strongly about including) but outside that, I've done all the planning and prep work. I never expected anyone else to just step and offer to help plan. I have one BM who offered to help if I let her know what I need it but since we're keeping things simple, that hasn't been necessary.

No one is going to be as into your wedding as you. That's just the bald truth. If you want other people involved or assisting, you need to ask them to help with whatever you need help with.

She couldn't have cared any less. Both my mom & FH'S mom didn't take an interest. At first I was hurt, but as time went on I realized that no one will care as much about the wedding compared to the couple getting married.

My mother cares in waves. Same with my fiance's mother. They will say nothing for weeks then call randomly with an idea or suggestion, but there has been ZERO follow-through. I asked for a rough guest list from each of them 2 months ago and got nothing from my mother, and a text with 20 people, where she forgot her husband, step-children, and her only grandchild. I never thought they would have been very interested but the moments when they call are quite jarring.