Lodging Accomodations-tacky or not?

Pay for the entire campground with no expectation for reimbursement or find a different venue where lodging is not included. It’s inappropriate to ask guests to pay you for lodging because you are not a hotel with private rooms and bathrooms, which cabins do not have. Many people are not comfortable with communal sleeping arrangements that include zero privacy.

View Quoted Comment The cabins are private—electricity, heat/ac, and private bathrooms. Does that change anything in your opinion?

View Quoted Comment Each cabin sleeps 2-4 people. I would be pairing people with their partner and/or children.

Eh, still complicated to take on. If your guestlist was smaller and made up of mostly responsible family, then maybe it wouldn't look tacky. But, yes collecting payments from guests is tacky, and they will not RSVP until 1-2 months before your wedding next year. The most gracious avenue would be to pay for all costs with no expectation of being paid back and no expectation that all cabins would be filled. Owing money and collecting owed money is an ugly scene that hurts relationships. Do you want that burden while planning a DIY wedding and getting married to your life partner? Also, you are liable for damages to any and all cabins, unlike a hotel with separate rooms. Personally, I'd choose less stress over a lake view, but it is ultimately up to you and your partner.

There were two other posts from a guest and bride regarding camp weddings, and we all estimate few would stay at the camp for bathroom concerns.

I actually think it’s appropriate as long as you are fine with the possibility that none of your guests choose this option, and that if there are no convenient alternatives (like how close to the campsite is the nearest hotel), some guests might decline the invitation (not because they have to pay for lodging but just because they don’t like the lodging options). And I would also make sure to explain the amenities of the cabins in detail on your wedding website so your guests know what to expect. I think people hear camping and freak out, but I’ve stayed in glamping cabins twice now (not for weddings), and they were AMAZING. Way cheaper than a hotel, way more space (which yes, included private clean bathrooms, and one of them had a kitchenette so we saved money on food cooking our own groceries. They were also air-conditioned, and we easily could have gotten all fancy for a wedding in them. So I would just explain the cabins on your website if they’re the nicer ones to get over guests’ preconceived notions and hopefully boost excitement. And as long as you’re offering an alternative, I think it’s fine that they would have to pay you directly. I would include the cost and make the deadline the same as your RSVP deadline (“we had to reserve these cabins upfront, and while you’re welcome to secure your own accommodations, if you would prefer to stay on-site in one of the cabins, please Venmo X amount by this date so we can add your family to the reservation.”). And maybe be strict about the deadline so once it passes and someone hasn’t paid, reach out and say hey, just wanted to confirm that you changed your mind about the cabin and plan on finding your own lodging. I wouldn’t be offended as a guest because I would understand that this is not buying admission to the wedding and that I can opt out and stay elsewhere. Now will it be a hassle to collect the money?

View Quoted Comment I don’t think it would be a hassle to collect money—with most of the friends I am inviting, we have gone on similar camping-style trips that I have organized and been in charge of $.


We are only inviting close friends and family, and many of our friends know each other and are close.

It’s very tacky. Guests should never be asked to reimburse or pay you for any associated costs of your venue. You don’t ask people to subsidize the cost of your location regardless of what they might otherwise be paying for accommodations. And of course you can’t require that people stay there at all.

View Quoted Comment No. There is no scenario where it is polite or appropriate in any way to ask this of your guests. As the hosts, you do not arrange something that you are not willing and able to cover all expenses yourselves. Cut the guest list if necessary so that they do not pay a dime. If you truly cannot or are not willing to pay for everything yourselves and take the financial loss, then don’t invite guests. You will be talked about by other guests even if they never say a word to you about your plan being a major inconvenience. Trading money between each other also is a relationship ender.

Do you have to rent these cabins in order to have the event in that space? How many cabins are there? I could see this working if the cabins are rented to close family only, as opposed to the guests that you're inviting. It comes really close to having your guests subsidize the cost of your venue, which can come across as impolite, since you're supposed to be hosting.

Unfortunately, I think it would definitely be tacky to collect money from your guests. I understand they would be paying for accommodations either way, but by paying you directly it gives the impression that they are subsidizing your wedding/venue. Could you maybe speak to the owner, manager, event, coordinator, etc. at the venue to see if they could set up a way to collect funds from the guests? (Ie, you pay for everything upfront, then guests pay the venue and they give you those funds).

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I doubt any venue with this policy would be willing to go through the trouble and liability of taking guest's money. This way, OP is also responsible for anything that happens on the premises. Even if OP were to put up all the money and the venue owner agreed to sneak it back to them under the table, that's still taking money from her guests to cover the required venue rental, and far worse, it's dishonest. No venue is going to agree to that. And even if they did, these things have a way of coming out.

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If you've done it before, how is your wedding special or different? Unless this time you pay for everyone and properly host.

View Quoted Comment Those trips were jointly planned, big difference. The campground or cabins weren’t something you were required to pay for in order to have your wedding, which is a fully hosted event, there.

View Quoted Comment The venue may not agree to it at all. But it’s always worth a try. And I suggested it because there is a similar venue where we live that WILL do this. A couple pays for all the cabins upfront, and as guests check in the venue takes their payment and applies it to the couple’s account. The couple is then refunded any surplus on their account after everyone checks out. And couples are not responsible for anything that happens on the premises. The venue carries its own liability insurance. They are still responsible for anything that may happen, regardless of who rents the venue.
Also, this is in no way dishonest. Guests are being presented the option of paying for lodging at the venue, or choosing another location. Their payment will go towards their lodging. This simply saves the couple having to worry about collecting money from people.

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If it's non-refundable requirement of booking the place, and the couple are getting back the money literally as guests book, then it's a bit of a distinction without much of a difference IMO. Most times I've heard of this situation, it's not an option though.

Sounds pretty tacky to me. I'd keep looking and find a different venue

I think if you rent this place you should do so with the understanding that you are paying for those accommodations.

After having just looked at several venues that have onsite accommodations, almost all of them require the host to pay for all lodging in advance. Managers of these properties said that those costs are passed onto guests who choose to book onsite, something confirmed by wedding planners in the area. So, despite feeling uncomfortable about it at first, I'm doing such a wedding. Onsite lodging is considerably cheaper than surrounding hotels, but it will be optional. For those who have done this, how have you handled it? I wish there were a way to let guests pay in a more formal way versus asking you to send a check or Venmo, but I'm not seeing options without setting up a business. Any tips would be appreciated.