Local friends and save the dates

I sent a STD to everyone we invited to the wedding. I also don't agree with b-listing so no advice from me on that.

I sent it to everyon invited to the wedding,

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Agree with this. Send one to everyone you'll be inviting to the wedding. It's a great time to get a jump start on collecting addresses. We skipped STD cards, but none of our guests would need to make travel arrangements in advance.

We sent STDs to everyone we planned on inviting except the people on our b-list. The people who are on our b-list are aware that they will be invited if we have the room/ once we get declines and they are fine with it and are not offended. They know the date and know not to expect a STD and will only receive and invitation if we end up having room to invite them. Which also means we will be sending out invitations about 6 months ahead of time not only for OOT guests but also so we can (hopefully) start getting RSVPs back sooner and give those b-listers more time to plan on coming.

As far as the b-list situation... I am in a friend group where one of the couples did this. Let me tell you, it was AWKWARD. It would've been less awkward if only some were invited and others just simply weren't - life goes on. However, the b-listers who got their invitations late felt either that it was a pity invite or knew they weren't first in line. Some people take it fine, while others will be offended. That being said, you know your social groups better than anyone here.

I'd say make room for all people in those groups or exclude everyone in groups you're less close with to avoid the situation of people finding they are b-listed.

Everyone on your invite list gets a STD. We even sent them to our parents. If you don't have someone's address, ask them for it. You will eventually need it anyway.

If someone is on your b-list, you can skip the STD since they may or may not be receiving an invitation when the that time comes.

I would just cause I know I would love to receive a STD to put on my fridge for my friends wedding esp if I’m in it!

Yes! Send to everyone who is invited even if they are local. It can be a keepsake for them. I also have a b-list and no one on that list got a STD. Some people who are invited are associated with the b-list and they didn’t get a STD as well. I really didn’t want a b-list but our venue can not accommodate over 200.

Follow up question, can I send my save the dates to my out of town people a little earlier than the local people? The reason why there's a b-list is because we're still figuring out the venue situation and one could accommodate more for not too much extra money. I need my out of town people to get this on their calendar. Majority of the guest list is out of town people.

I sent to everyone that was invited and I dont agree with B list either

I do not agree with B listing BUT there are numerous stories here of brides having count issues (misunderstanding venue limits, pressure from M or FMIL as to invites). It is NOT a B list to only send out STDs to VIPs or OOT people.