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Jenni
Just Said Yes September 2020

Living with in-laws

Jenni, on August 15, 2020 at 12:22 AM

Posted in Married Life 47

Hello, can someone give me advice about living with your in-laws. My fiancé wants us to live with his parents after the wedding and I honestly don’t want to, but I dont Want to hurt his feelings. Any advice?
Hello, can someone give me advice about living with your in-laws. My fiancé wants us to live with his parents after the wedding and I honestly don’t want to, but I dont Want to hurt his feelings. Any advice?tenor.gif

47 Comments

  • Just Said Yes May 2022
    ·
    • Flag
    Hi is there a reason why he wants you all to move in with your in laws? I’m just asking because you all are grown and newly weds, why would he want you all to live with his parents? Unless they are sick or need help financially I wouldn’t do it. I just my opinion
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    Is there a specific reason he wants to live with his parents? If it is for financial reasons, I would hold off getting married until you two are financially stable enough. If it is for other reasons, I’d consider if he is truly ready to get married. I would never live with my in-laws unless it was an absolute emergency (ie: our house burned down or something else terrible!). I’m close with my in-laws. But newlyweds need space and as adults, we should all be living on our own at this point if our lives.
    • Reply
  • Daniella
    Dedicated July 2021
    Daniella ·
    • Flag
    Dont do it unless it's a emergency situation OR for financial reasons...I have amazing in laws.. however thank God they live in our home country so I don't ever face this dilemma....trust me, as my dad favorite saying goes " living with me and seeing me is two different things" and that applies to everyone. Even living with your FH. Living with people you see get to are their real selves and even the nicest of people get annoyed! Depending on the type of people your in laws are if it's for financial reasons give it a try...it may not be as bad....make sure you have an end date... however If it's not, then you and your husband should weigh pros and cons....whichever you choose the upside is that you know his family willing to taking you guys in if you need them too... however marriage has tons of challenges outside of living arrangements an living with others can make that very hard. I'm sure you guys will make the best decision for you both. Best of luck!
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2019
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    We live with my parents, we're saving up for our own home. However, out situation is a little different. My parents have what is called a mother/daughter house. The basement was converted into a 2 bedroom apartment. So we have our own space and it's working out really well.
    I think if you can establish some type of space/boundaries it won't be as difficult as you think. If you're uncomfortable in their home, I think you need to have a family conversation. If the situation were reversed and we were living with his parents, I would have a a very hard time with it. The best way to figure it out is to talk it out.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Don't do it, even if you have a great relationship with his parents. It's just trouble. There are a few post about people having issues living with their in laws even when they had a decent relationship with them. Id just tell him that you would much rather live with just the two of you as a newlywed couple. The only way I'd live with my in laws is if there was a separate living area almost like an apartment for us to stay in, I love my in laws but I don't want to live in the same house as them. It's just to difficult.
    • Reply
  • Martha
    Devoted February 2024
    Martha ·
    • Flag

    I moved in with my boyfriend into his parents home, I appreciate that they took us in an allowed us to live with them but I truly wish we had gotten our own place. Its odd adjusting to someone else routine, my guy is the eldest of four kids and we all lived in the home and had to deal with each others tempers and habits, for example I hit the hay early while they are night owls. It was a lot harder for us to plan a date where it was just the two of us since someone always wanted to tag along. Also being intimate in a home where there are other 5 pairs of ears listening isnt romantic. I am sad we didn't get our own place sooner because I feel my fiance did most of his maturing during this last year when we were on our own in a whole new state.Just us together we learned to lean on each other and count on each other, rather than counting on those around us. Saving because you live with in-laws is nice, but I would definitely push for getting your own place, it'll be harder but I think you will be happier in the long run, and you would get into a routine of your own.

    • Reply
  • Donna
    Savvy July 2021
    Donna ·
    • Flag
    My fiancé wants me to move in after we get married I’m 56 and he is 62. His mom is frail and can’t live alone. She is going to be 88 this year. But she doesn’t want me to move in to help and be company as I don’t work and fiancé does. She wants him to move out and buy his own house at 62. Being his brother lives in Germany I might have to live by myself for 5 yrs or longer once married as she hadn’t changed how she feels yet. Ughhhh
    • Reply

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