Living near in-laws

How is your relationship with your FILs? Do you feel that your boundaries are respected? How do see your relationship going forward? What is making you feel unsure, why? There is no right or wrong answer, you both need to talk about it and see what feels best.

I guess it depends on your relationship and comfort level. I could never live neither either of our parents. I don't even want to be in the same city as his parents because they suck. I don't mind being in the same town as my parents (most days) but I could never be closer than we are which is about a 30 minute drive away. My mom talks sometimes about moving to our part of town and I have had to be quite frank with her and tell her that we don't want that. We would literally move out of the home with LOVE if they moved here so it would defeat the purpose anyhow. We need that little bit of space to live our own lives.

The relationship is a bit strained since his siblings did not want him to remarry. They're quite protective of him being the youngest. My guess is they would still be expecting him to be at their beck and call. Not much I can do about that he would have to handle. My mother and both his parents are deceased.

Oh I feel ya! Our families don't live here, but my guy moved from Los Angeles to a town of 9000 people in agricultural Oregon. It was a bit of culture shock for him lol!

I grew up down the street from my grandparents. If you're having children, in my own personal experience, it made my childhood better. I am just as close to my grandparents as I am to my parents because I was able to see them as often as I wanted. I still live in our house with my brother. My grandparents never did and still don't barge in whenever they want. As long as boundaries are set, I really see nothing but positives here (but clearly I'm biased). Edit: sorry after reading your other comments it's your sister or brother in law not parents? I still don't see an issue once again because all of my family lives within 5 minutes of each other lol. But if you're not comfortable, then you're not.

Honestly, do you plan on changing jobs in the near future or you are comfortable where you are?? While I'm all for compromising, having a long commute may drain you and your quality of life. Also, having your husband at the beck and call of the in laws is not good. He should put you and the family you create first!

As the baby it may be tough because it sounds like boundaries are an issue and that may be hard to change. They've been telling him what to do his whole life and that's a tough habit to break. I wouldn't want to have to deal with that personally, esp if the relationship already has a strain on it.

It really depends on your relationship with them. It might be fine if you just set boundaries, which it sounds like you may need to do anyway. When we first got married, we were 6 hours away from both of our families, but now I live 12 minutes from my in-laws and it's not a problem--they have their own lives and will call/text us if they want to get together.

I live out in the country 1/2 a mile from the in laws and 4 hours from my family. I don't have a problem with FIL, but MIL drives me insane! His family bought the house for 'FH & I' and MIL decides to take charge of the remodel. She pretended to take interest in what we had to say then went ahead and did what she wanted. I was pregnant at the time so I had a fox nursery planned already bought the bedding and wanted birch trees on the wall in grey or off white. Foxes are orange so she painted the nursery orange. A bright orange with the glossiest paint she could find. I have since repainted it and she doesn't know yet but I'm sure she'll get offended. She's the most judgmental person you'll meet and has no filter when it comes to her opinion but she'll cry if you were to say her shoes don't match her outfit. After baby was born I was waking up every 2 hours, I wasn't awake for the day until noon. Everyday she would come over between 6-8am to visit. Wouldn't knock just walked right up the stairs would come in the bedroom and wake me and baby. I'm milking every 2 hours I'm too tired to want to wear a shirt, but I sure as hell am not expecting anyone but my FH to be coming into the bedroom. There was one day things were just going awful, this was the one day she decided to ask FH if she could come over. I said told him no, she's been here every day unannounced and I'm just not in the mood for visitors. He told her no she showed up anyways. I didn't say anything but after she handed me back my son she left the room crying because she was told earlier we didn't want anyone coming over. You would have thought we told her she will never see her grandson again. She doesn't come over nearly as much but feels she is entitled to babysit every other day. I'm a stay at home mom, I don't need a babysitter. We have yet to officially announce our engagement so I can get majority of planning done before she feels the need to step in and voice her opinions.

It depends on the relationship for sure. My mom retired last year and we purchased a side by side duplex - she lives right next door. It works great for us FH and my mom get along great! However this wouldn't have been an option if FH and my mom didn't get along.