I starting to feel like everyone feels like my wedding should be all I focus on until the day arrives.
Example: I would like to go on a weekend trip for 30th birthday this year, and my mom has continually made negatives comments about me needing to stay home. Granted, I do travel quite a bit, but I haven't went anywhere or made any arrangements besides the weekend trip since my engagement.
Another example: I purchased my first home last year, and would really like to redecorate since my furniture is years old from my apartment and doesn't suit my house. Before the engagement, everyone was so happy to give me their opinions, now everyone thinks I shouldn't buy anything until after the wedding.
I feel like this wedding has become my identity.
I've had friends flat out say, in a group chat, "Hey, I'm planning a trip to Greece, I know you can't go Reese because of the wedding, but if anyone else is interested, let me know".
I also feel guilty for making large purchases that aren't wedding related, because my mom would say things like, your dad is working overtime to pay for your wedding you want to buy a costume for Caribbean Carnival. It will roughly cost me about $1000 this year, but it's a tradition I do with my friends. Next year, the festival is held on my actual wedding day, and the following 2 years, we are planning on having babies. So, Idk when I will be able to do with my friends again.
My family wants to talk about the wedding EVERYDAY, and sends pictures EVERYDAY.
And I have over a year to go.
I should also mention, that I NEVER wanted this big wedding. I wanted to elope or just a small ceremony of 40 people. We are at 130 people and having a pretty elaborate wedding. I only agreed because my FH really wanted it and my Mom begged me.
I feel like my FH gets to participate in the planning when he feels like, and he ultimately just has to show up, and it's his fault I'm even stressed or spending so much on a wedding in the first place.
So, even though I don't want to come off as ungrateful, I don't want to be consumed by all things wedding.
Advice Please!!
