Letting people change my mind

You're not wrong! If you can afford it and it's what you want I say GO FOR IT!!! People drive 40 minutes to work everyday lol they can drive to your wedding.

A 40 minute drive is nothing, that’s a commute to work and back for the average joe.

40 minutes isn't far at all. You pick the venue that you want. People will be happy to be there celebrating with you. If they're not and don't want to drive 40 minutes that's their problem. It'll be less people you have to pay for.

Idk, 40 minutes for me isn't a big deal, but it takes me like 40 minutes to drive home from work everyday so? Are there hotels around? Offer a hotel room block so if people don't want to drive they can stay at a hotel?

A forty minute drive is absolutely fine. People will make their way for that

We had talked to the venue coordinator and she said they do have lodging available and would be able to provide the link so that we can let our guests know. My biggest issue was my dad had made a comment (jokingly) that you can't drive home that far after being at a wedding i.e. drinking. This comment whether joking or not hurt my feelings a little bit because I feel like if your sole purpose for attending my wedding is to get plastered to the point you can't drive yourself home then why are you coming? My FH and I are not drinkers. We have an occasional drink here and there, and we are more than willing to provide alcohol at our wedding for those that would like it. I'm all for everyone having a good time, but I want people to be responsible and not make comments like "Oh that's too far to drive if I'm drinking".

I agree with the others, that 40 minutes is not too far to drive for a wedding. And as for your dad's comment, I think most people attend weddings to witness the couple get married and celebrate with them. Do some drink a bit too much? Yes, that happens, which is why it's a good idea to work out some lodging options, which you have done. But the larger point here is about the title of your post, which is letting people change your mind.

Please don't do that!!! I'm sure you have some kind of vision of the wedding you want. You have a budget that you are comfortable with, and now you are on the verge of having a venue you love. Don't let anyone make you second-guess those decisions!! You are a grown woman, and you and FH can decide for yourselves what you want for your wedding.

But I can guarantee you this won't be the last time that your family tries to influence your decisions about the wedding. It's a good opportunity for you to practice your independence, and learn how to stand up for what you want. Since you have decided to pay for the wedding all on your own, you and FH will have 100% control over every decision. That's great!! I'm proud of you! It's not easy to stand up to our families, especially when we want them to love every decision we make. Just stand your ground. Learn the phrase, "thanks for your input, I'll keep it in mind" as you may have to use it often! Just do you!! Happy planning!

A 40 minute drive is NOTHING. I drive longer than that to work. If this is the venue that you love and it’s in your budget then go for it! As far as the alcohol goes, I would hope that people would be decent enough not to get completely wasted at your wedding. If they do, then they can find a ride home or call an Uber. I’m not sure what your venue’s policy is but ours requires us to hire a licensed bartender to serve alcohol. That way, the bartender can refuse alcohol to anyone they deem is too intoxicated or under age.

40 minutes isnt that long of a drive.
I drive 30 minutes to work and home everyday.
I did choose to cross a venue off because it was 40 minutes away. But I'm getting married at the end of March. It could be 75 degrees or snow 14 inches.

I want to thank you, ladies, because this is the kind of positivity and reassurance I needed! It's already hard enough feeling like your own family wants to go against you on what YOU want. I kept telling myself 40 minutes is not an unrealistic time. I am a pretty independent person and I know I will stand my ground on my decision because not only do I love it, but my FH is completely onboard with it as well. We want it to be memorable and fun!

First of all 40 minutes is not a long drive and no matter where you have your wedding, your real family and friends will be there. Don’t let anyone change your mind. Do what you want because it’s your day! Good luck!

40 min to attend a wedding is not unreasonable at all! I've driven much further to be a guest at at wedding. It's your wedding, try and not let people sway you, do what you feel is right for your vision.

People can carpool or find a DD! If it comes to it, maybe you and your family can discuss renting some busses to bus people from a place in town.

40 minutes is not too far. All of our guests except some bridal party members are from out of town, atleast 2 hours away. Our ceremony and reception are 30 mins apart... If people want to complain they can.. In your situation, they won't need to stay at a hotel or travel in from out of town anyway, so no 40 minutes isn't too much.

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The other thing I forgot to mention is our ceremony and reception are going to be in the same venue. That means there won't be traveling between 2 locations. The venue I'm looking at is priced for a whole weekend as well. I would get to have Friday for 4 hours, Saturday from 8am-10pm, and then Sunday a few hours for clean up. This is the part that really hooked me because I want to enjoy my wedding. I don't want to add stress or pay extra money to add more hours to set up/tear down, hair/makeup, etc. This venue just makes perfect sense to me and I feel like that 40-minute commute would be worth everything I'd be getting for the price they're asking.

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Yea, I think if you and FH both love it you go for it. Family will get over it. There is always some sort of "inconvenience" someone will find to complain about. Do what makes the most sense for you and FH!

Just tell them to be thankful it's not a destination wedding, lol. 40 minutes is nothing--where I'm from, everyone drives 30-45 minutes commute every day. And if you're the one paying for it, they don't really get a say in it. Our wedding is a 45 minute drive from where we live, but since our family is so spread out, some people are looking at a 3 hour drive...

40 minutes is not a long drive lol. Our venue is about an hour away from where we live, my family knows its a one-time thing. I think you should go for it those who want to be there will be there, those who don't will find any excuse not to.

40 minutes is not a big deal. Your family is making a fuss for no reason, unless the main goal on their part is for you to find a cheaper venue? Pick the venue you and your FS want. People can travel one day for your wedding. I drive 40 mins to work everyday!

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I 100% get where he's coming from. If there is alcohol at the wedding people are going to drink. Is their goal to get drunk? No but people do tend to drink more than they should at weddings. If you go with the venue I would suggest cutting off the alcohol a bit earlier and provide plenty of other beverages. Your guests who are drinking are grown adults who should be responsible for themselves so they should know to stop drinking early on but some people aren't that great at it.