Letting Go of (Wedding) Dreams

What kind of venue was it? I found one similar to the one I really wanted for 1/3 the price just from talking to my photographer for suggestions.

im sorry no advice here, but atleast you get to still marry the love of your life which is the best part of it all anyway. perhaps you can have your dream and vision come to life at a more affordable venue

I don't have my ideal venue either because of budget restraints. I've made peace with it though. My venue is still beautiful, the ceremony and reception will be beautiful, and best of all I get to marry the love of my life! ETA: I love what Amanda said. That is what I did and then I started imagining how I could decorate my new venue and have new excitement over it again!

I did

I wanted this amazing barn-ish venue in the national park by our house... FH and I are huge hikers and backpackers and it would have been perfect...

But it was also out of budget, and there weren't any hotels close by... So I adjusted. I was sad for a while, but then started figuring out how I could decorate the new venue. It's time, and if you focus more on the new than on what you aren't getting, it will make it easier!

It was a large ballroom with an attached terrace at a hotel! There were beautiful chandeliers, amazing woodwork, the whole nine yards! It was perfect, but would've cost us about $40k total. Sadly, we are doing a DW, so there aren't many other options.

AD, that is my thought too! While I would love to host in the gorgeous space, what matters is who I am marrying, not where.

Not going to lie, after we got engaged and I started looking into wedding planning and realizing how expensive everything was I cried for like 2 weeks because I had to let go of a lot of my wedding dreams (thanks for the unreal expectations pinterest!). For me it just took time to get over it. We decided how much we were willing to spend on a party and went from there. Like you said I knew we had made the right choice but it just stung a little to be snapped back into reality. As long as you end up married to your best friend it will still be as perfect as the glamorous wedding you had envisioned in the past.

We didn't book my ideal venue due to size, so I ended up booking the community center and their plain room. It allows us to do whatever we want to the space for significantly less than what we would have spent elsewhere.

@Bemyguest, that is great advice. After a little bit of moping, I'll get started finding a new venue and getting excited about that one!

Thanks to everyone else as well!

ETA: Reality is the worst! I really wish I could stop looking at pintrest and dreaming, but alas it is my fate

I had to change my vision from rustic/barn BBQ-type to more formal. It was a bummer for me as well, and I'm still not as excited about it as I would've been if it accurately reflected my personality, but I couldn't drag everyone so far from home for a wedding. Eventually you'll get back on your feet and be excited again. This is actually a good time to use pinterest so you can see how great your new vision could turn out

Since your dream venue is a hotel, can you make plans to go on anniversary trips or something like that, so that the place is still special?

My dream venue (which I picked before we were even engaged) is 2X my entire wedding budget for just the venue and the catering (without alcohol)

FH knew that the place was special to me though, so he took me there to propose.

I think this is such a vital part of the process. It's interesting that we know to be realistic in every other element of our lives, but there's still a part of us that thinks "dream weddings" are something we're entitled to. But it's definitely a bad idea to go broke paying for a party. I'm sure your wedding will be absolutely amazing, and, much more importantly, you won't be starting your marriage in a bad financial place.

MarryingMurray, we are thinking of potentially staying our wedding night at the dream hotel! Since it is a DW, we will be close by already and could just pop over to the hotel and enjoy it as a couple.

Thank you Delfina! I hope it is an amazing wedding and you are so right about finances. I wouldn't want to start our marriage hugely in debt just so I could look at crystal chandeliers for one night.

I've been there! We all start with elaborate dream wedding and real life budgets have a way of crushing dreams. I had a venue I wanted so badly but realized it would cost the total amount of our budget. I had to settle for something else. However, I know it's not the details that matter. It's all about getting to marry the man of my dreams!

I've been there too:/ before getting engaged I had this huge Idea of getting married in a beautiful ballroom with a view of the city and white floor and beautiful and huge chandelier. after looking at prices my dream crashed, but I got over it. Now just planning the wedding I can afford.

My FH is feeling that more than me. I have already gotten over the fact that our wedding is nothing I have ever wanted. But he is so upset that we are getting married in my uncles backyard (10 acres of rolling green hills and a 4600 sqft house with an outdoor barn) that he wants nothing to do with the wedding and just wants to, "get it over with."

It may be for the best! FH and I narrowed our possible venues to two places and made appointments to see both of them in the same week. We thought we were absolutely set on the first one. We loved everything about it and had already started telling people about it. The price wasn't too high, but with everything they required, the price was going to go from $1,200 to almost $10,000. We unrealistically tried to think of how we could afford it.

On our way to the second appointment, we literally said to each other "let's just see this in case. I don't really want to go, it's so far. We're set on the first place."

We met with one of the owners and she absolutely sold us, we had so much more freedom, it was cheaper (for a much bigger space, which farther down the line we realized we needed,) and it was more us.

Looking back, I'm so glad we chose where we did. There's always something better out there. I agree with the other women. You'll find a new place and get all excited again.