Let's Talk Moving In Together!

I love how you say your story and the problems you've encountered and yet sounded happy and proud of it. I think what you've experienced has been worthy of the outcome and I congratulate you on that.

As for living with the love of my life. We haven't yet and still dreaming of owning our own in the future. Good luck with the life together with your boyfriend!

My husband and I broke up after five months because we couldn't handle being in a long distance relationship. He moved to another state after we graduated college. We were apart for two months. Then we met up to talk. We both still had feelings for each other so we discussed the possibility of moving into together. It was really the only way we would be able to make our relationship work. Within two months of getting back together, I moved in with him. It was difficult because I had been willing with my parents and younger siblings prior so it was hard to see move three hours away. However, it has been four years since I moved to be with my husband and now I'm used to it, but I don't think my mom will ever get used to it. The next challenge is that I'm currently pregnant and because of Covid travel is stricted so I have to figure out how to make my family still feel a part of our baby's life.

Sooo my husband still lived with his parents (paid rent) when we met (he was still in Electrician school), I however owned my own home. We went on a few dates in July/Aug, and one day he spent the night with me and I swear he never left 😂. He got off work at 3:00 where as I worked until 5:00, so it was one of those things where he would be like “Oh. I can bring dinner” or “Let me start mowing so you won’t when you get home” and so he would stay the night, get up early and get dressed at his house, then go to work. We joke about it now, because literally after spending the night one night with me, he never stayed at his house again. Haha

I spent most of my free time at his apartment so it felt very natural

It took my fiance and I around 3 years of dating before moving in together. Before then, we lived a half hour apart, though he worked in my town, and I was attending classes in his town, so we'd frequently stay at each other's places. Finally, he moved to my town to live with me. It was a fairly seamless transition - I previously lived alone and thought I would miss having my place to myself, but we both give each other space when needed, our schedules are similar, and overall, living together is easy for us.

We met in grad school, were each living on our own, and had been for a long time (no roommates, because we met in MIssissippi). We dated for about a year, broke up for five months, decided we couldn't stand to be apart, and began dating again - but still lived separately. Then I had a year-long position in Alabama, while he stayed in Mississippi, so obviously we still lived on our own. He moved in about 6 weeks before the wedding and the only reason his mom didn't flip her crap was because the wedding was coming up so quickly (never mind we were in our 30s, the generational thing, plus she got married at 18, so . . . ). Anyway.

We had some similar issues, except we were BOTH used to being on our own, so having someone else in the space (for more than a week/week and a half at a time). Plus, we're both bad about "setting this here for later" and leaving it, so we needed to start straightening up after ourselves more often and that kind of thing. I *still* don't love how high he turns the volume up on the TV, but he says he can't hear it when it's comfortable for me, so I live with it, and if it gets crazy then I mention that it's loud. We both love to cook, but sometimes have different ideas about where things should go (never mind that when we've moved he always says "put things where you like them" lol). It was a big deal, but now I can't imagine living alone.

We're looking to buy a house - and hoping for relatively new roof, windows, water heater, HVAC, etc. - that stuff is all so expensive!

We always pick fun at this story for us because we've literally lived together since we started dating! He asked me to come over to hang out....I pretty much never left since then. (I promise it's not as crazy as it sounds!!)😂😂

We met our sophomore year in college and I was still living with my parents. He had a place with a few of his friends. I basically just spend everyday over there hanging out with them. Before he knew it I was moved in and we were living together. 😂 Bless him for putting up with me, but I always told him if he didn't want me there and wasn't ready to live together I could def. leave...but he never complained!

I think us living together for so long before marriage (almost 7 years) was a great thing for us. I know a lot of my family weren't big fans of it because they're pretty religious and traditional, but it just felt right for us! We've spent almost 7 years of our lives living together, getting to know one another's habits, quirks, pet peeves, love language...and we live in harmony now! I think living together so early in our relationship AND at such a young age, helped us both mature mentally and emotionally as well.

We moved in together after a year of dating. I had moved out at 18 from NJ to NYC and loved there for several years. We had gone to high school together and reconnected several years later at 23. I was living in Queens and he was still living at home in NJ, which is shockingly common for a lot of people I know. I was the odd one out for working a billion hours to not live at home (then again, my family relationships weren't the best). After a few months of dating and us visiting each other, my lease was up and I moved back in with my parents temporarily while we looked for an apartment in NJ. It was so weird for me to live in my parent's house again, even if it was for only like 3 months (wow did it feel longer!). Moving in together was surprisingly seamless. I was worried because I had lived with an ex before and it obviously didn't work out. Plus this guy had never lived anywhere but his parents house (he did his own laundry and stuff when living there, which was a good sign lol). But when we moved in together, it just worked. We got into a rhythm with doing housework (taking turns doing the dishes without really discussing it). He is the most thorough vacuumer I have ever met lol. Moving in together really solidified that he was the one. And it only took about 6 more years for that to happen lol 🙄.

I think moving in with anyone can be a big transition and it might not always go the way you planned but how you come out of each hurdle is important. I moved in with my fiancé pretty soon after we got engaged because I didn't want the stress of moving and getting closer to our wedding date at the same time. Then Covid-19 hit and my plans got completely turned around, we ended up buying a house--not the order of things I wanted at all but timing was everything. I think you just have to decide between the two of you what is most important and find a way to work through it. Some things that seem really difficult at first, find a way to fit into your routine because you worked at them. Just my thoughts, best of luck and blessings to you both!

We moved in together 6 months after we made it official!

We are HS sweethearts, so obviously when we met we still lived with our parents. He was a junior and I was a sophomore. I had just moved to Texas from Idaho where I was born and raised. Long story short for context, my family was extremely disapproving and we were not allowed to hang out outside of school so we were kinda long distance already. My family moved back to Idaho and FH and I were long distance for a whole year, until my graduation when he thankfully was allowed to come visit. That summer I moved into my college dorm where I lived for the semester. It was a bad situation and I wasn't in a good place in life in general. Moving back to my parents was not an option as that was a toxic situation, and I didn't have any friends to crash with either. Then I visited FH and his family for Thanksgiving break and we realized that we couldn't stand to be apart anymore. We went back and forth on who would move, but in the end we decided to have me move back to Texas. I had no friends or family supporting me in ID, while FH and his family welcomed me with open arms and helped us get set up. I packed as much as I could in some suitcases and duffels, bought a one way plane ticket, and packed the rest of my stuff in boxes to be shipped. I left a week before Christmas and never came back. I got a job by New years, we got a car in February, and by March we had our own apartment, moving out a month before his parents deadline! We have been through adulting together and while it's been HARD, its been so rewarding as well to help support each other and grow together. I've been here for 2 years now and have a great relationship with his family and am working on mending things with mine.

PS: My FMIL raised my man right, he has always done his own clothes, cleaned, vaccumed, you name it, so while hes been unemployed due to COVID and I've been full time working, hes been a great housewife lmao! Ladies, find a man who can do stuff for himself!!

View Quoted Comment I get that!
DH would help me with so many things around the apartment. I'm fairly sure I never actually took out my own trash!

View Quoted Comment Yeah, so much of having someone move in with you is the, "but I like the shower this way" or "I always leave my glass there" or "ew, why are there socks all over the floor"!


I'm an only child, so quiet is something I'm used to. He's got a sister and grew up in the city, so quiet freaks him out!

View Quoted Comment I get that.
Where we live, moving in together is standard, and the rare couple who do not, are often questioned as to why. It's considered really helpful and makes the transition to married life easier. You've already worked out the patterns of daily life!

View Quoted Comment Lol, I get that. It's so expensive here!
DH was in charge of laundry for his family, not to mention quite a bit of the shopping and cooking, and a hand in the non-super maintenence. So, like you, I saw that as a good sign.

I had to move back in with my mom for 6 weeks or so after an AC unit flooded my place. It didn't go well AT ALL.
And, yeah. He moved in with me 4 years ago and then didn't propose for another 2 1/2. I was like, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry your family is so toxic!


I can't imagine even dating a guy who can't take care of himself, let alone marrying him!DH loves to cook, and, since COVID, our laundromat had restricted access, so he's pretty much the only one doing laundry, now.

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It's rough that's for sure, even though he's never done anything wrong they still have this ridiculous bias and distaste for FH. Thankfully they have stayed mostly civil through the planning process. (They can't bear hurt their reputation by shutting me out completely bc of him lol)

I know right?? Like I'm the more independent one in our relationship, but he is still completely capable on his own, I hate when people make memes about marriage when they say it's like having a kid. If you have to take care of your husband like he is a toddler incapable of taking care of himself...you need to RUN FOR THE HILLS lmao

Same with us, we don't have our own machine (we use his parents since they live down the road) and he has been doing pretty much all the chores so that I can relax after work!

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Right?! I'm *super* picky about the way the books are arranged (I prefer them alphabetized) and he uses a different system (he likes Dewey decimal) but isn't wed to that - but then he wanted to come up with a whole 'nother arrangement (by topic, then alphabetically) - drove me nuts. He's on my arrangement now, because I'm the one who arranged the books lol. He also sets cups down without coasters - argh!

On the other hand, I drive him nuts for other things - it's all about working through it, and finding what works and cooperating to make it all work for both of us.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, it's 1 thing to live at home cuz rent is prohibitively expensive in the area. It's another to still have your mom wash your underwear.


Yeah, honestly I don't know what the hold up was. Like..come on dude, there is nothing else you will discover after 5-6 years of living together in a 1 bedroom apartment that you don't already know.

When I met my FH, my daughter and I were hosting a female Muslim foreign exchange student, and him moving in would have been a BIG problem. He and I KNEW that we were going to be together and he was living about 4 hours away and the commuting back and forth or finding halfway points was a drag, so we decided to move in together right away. I already owned my home, and he had been recently laid off from his job, so we agreed he would move in with me. So four months after we met, and the day after our exchange student returned home, in he moved. It was a bit fast, honestly, and it took a LOT of adjusting on both our parts. I had been widowed for 7 years, and I was used to being in charge and having full command of the household. Suddenly I had to share my space with him. We have very different tastes in decorating, and my daughter at the time was 10 and quite precocious. He was used to living either alone or with his elderly parents who he was helping out, doing quiet and solitary things like bird watching or playing chess. Suddenly there were underpants in the hallway, a kid busting into our bedroom at 6AM to see what we were doing, and a lot of noise and color and craziness. We did really well till the pandemic quarantine hit, and in May this year, I shipped him back to his parents' house for two weeks. We were just together waaaaaay too much and all the little annoying things about each other really blew up. But I'm glad it happened because we did some virtual couples counseling, our communication improved tenfold, and we've had no problems since he came back home. We've lived together 17 months now and it's smooth sailing. I sometimes regret it happened so fast, but mostly I just love having him around and I'm fully cognizant of not wasting time together because life is so precious, which I found out the hard way when my first husband died.