left out of family pictures rant

Sorry for repeating myself my brain does not work when I am angry lol

Are they typically stand offish or do you seem to get alone with them? This is a tough situation for sure and it sucks the FH didn't ask why you weren't included. To me it is his family and he has to confront it if there is an issue. I get wanting one of just the parents and kids but you are going to be a part of that family soon too and that's terrible. Vent all you need to Tiffany, that's a crap situation!!!

Did they leave you out on purpose..ie told you not to be in the pictures, or were pictures taken while you were not around?

I think anyone would be hurt in that situation, or at least taken aback.

What did FH have to say about it.

I'm going to tell you you're over-reacting, but also that you're allowed to feel how you feel. TECHNICALLY you aren't a family member. You won't be until October. I'm NOT saying what they did was right, I'm just saying I wouldn't make a big deal over this because they will tell you exactly what I did - you're not family until October. That's just going to twist the knife coming from them, so my best advice . . . get over it :-)

and I mean that in the gentlest way possible. This isn't worth holding a grudge over. I am sorry though that that's how they chose to handle their pictures.

They should have included you - I would be hurt too.

That was rude ! I would be upset to. I'd be sure to return the favor in Oct. !!

I was told to wait with the other guests while they did pictures. I was getting over it UNTIL my fmil told fh she can not wait to get a copy of the family picture to hang on her wall and she would send him a copy so he would have a nice picture of HIS family

She can send it, but I imagine it will soon be replaced by pictures from your own wedding. For the record, don't display family pictures - just pics of the two of you.

Don't be mad about when another couple plans their wedding. Just don't because there's nothing you can do and because it's really not that big of a deal. If they did it the day of your wedding, then yeah, I'd be like, "hold the phone!"

As far as the family photo's, your feelings are valid, but I wouldn't let it stress you out that much. You went to the wedding. It's done and over with. I'm sure somebody had an oversight or just wanted things the way that they ended up being.

Personally, we aren't doing a HUGE family photo, more like small sets of photos here and there, because we have such WEIRD family dynamics.

I agree with Paris 100% on this. It sucks and I don't blame you for feeling hurt, but sometimes that's how it's done.

FWIW-I was dating a guy for over a year and it looked like we were going to get married (in everyone else's eyes) I was invited to his cousin's wedding and was included in the pictures. Now I know we weren't engaged so it makes it a little different. I didn't want to be in them and told the family and my guy at the time I didn't think it was appropriate since I'm not "family".

Now I'm forever in some stranger's family photo and while it has no affect on me...I'm sure they are like "who is that girl?"

I know you and your FH are getting married of course, and soon, but I feel like the thoughts of the couple might have been along the same lines as how I felt when I was asked to be in photos.

In 5 months you will have another family photo being taken and everyone will be in it. And you will be front and center. I'd let it roll off.

I would be upset also

Did they leave other spouses out?? I can't tell you how many family pictures my poor Mother has had to do away with because a significant other was in and then was suddenly no longer part of the family. So we always make it a point to have only the FAMILY in at least one picture. But with three kids and 5 grandkids (most of which are now adults themselves) it's bound to happen.

Erin & rusticbride called it. Being upset that they set their wedding date before your's is a wasted emotion. The wedding is over and what's done is done. Move on.

How you're feeling about the pictures is normal. But let it go. Holding onto the anger isn't going to get you anywhere. When your FH receives the picture, you don't have to put it up. Shove it away into a picture book.

I should clairify the reason i was so upset that they set their date before ours is because they knew we were paying for our own wedding and they live seven hours away. They only gave us 3 months notice we would have to spend almost $400 for his wedding after paying for the tux gas there and back and a hotel room and food. So that was money that had to come from our wedding fund

And i am getting over the whole thing. I just needed one good rant about it and let it all out. Now breathing in and breathing out.