Leaving questionable relative off save the dates

I wouldn't send him one. I listened to my mom about inviting a relative I didn't want to and regretted it immediately.

In the situation I say follow your gut. I think l would just leave him off...its to special of a day to have a person there that might be intoxicated and ruin the night in my mind

It’s okay to not send a save the date to every guest. If he’s the only one not receiving one, I think it might be pushing the boundaries of “okay,” but I would just blame it on the fact that you couldn’t get an address for him.

Not sending a save the date doesn’t mean not sending an invitation. I wouldn’t send a save the date, and then you’ve got a bit more time until invitations go out to make up your mind.

Skip it if you can't find an address. Worry about it when it's time for an invite

I say skip it. Std are not even a mandatory thing and if you change your mind down the line or he messes up it would be that much easier to skip the invitation because he won’t expect it. On the other hand sending the invitation at the customary time would give him less time to prep and he might not come all along.

I say skip it. If the time comes when you do the invites and something has changed and you want to invite him you can. I certainly didn’t invite everyone in my family because I didn’t want to deal with certain things and it was MY day.....not my parents. 😊

We're facing a similar situation as well. We didn't send a save the date to said relative, but we will reconsider sending an invitation. Speak with your mother before doing so so that she can have a final say.

I decided not to send a Save the Date to anyone I am not 100% sure of.

Skip it, take the time to make the decision whether to invite this relative to the wedding. I have family members whom I did not send STDs too for the same reason. Closer to the wedding I may opt to invite them depending on the circumstances. I don’t care to have anyone high at my wedding or around me at all.

My uncle died of alcoholism about six months after his brother (my other uncle)’s wedding. He didn’t invite him to the wedding. It’s been almost 10 years and he still hasn’t forgiven himself.

Sorry that’s not advice lol just what I’ve personally seen in my life.

I personally think that kind of risk is for something minor like a bbq maybe even thanksgiving dinner... but your wedding day??? Mentally imagine the worse thing he has been known to do... then imagine it at your wedding.... how would you feel? If you would feel devastated... enrages... beyond upset. Don’t do it. Last time we invited my drunk uncle to a function. It almost turned into a fight and he threatened to come back and shoot up the party 😩🤦🏽‍♀️ This was a party filled with his own siblings and nieces and nephews and blood cousins. Needless to say he won’t be on my list. Weddings are too expensive and sentimental to have it ruined by someone with a problem!!!! Idk if he’s as bad as my uncle but think hard and long!

I wouldn't. We cut some relatives that would just be superfluous or engage in melodrama. We did get to hear about it from both sets of parents, but we ended up standing our ground. Another thing I noticed is that with such a big family, our guest list of 80-something quickly crawled to almost 100 once we realized that so-and-so had gotten married or come of age (legal adult only reception here), etc., so we weren't keen to add on anyone we didn't think should be there instead of these other individuals.

If it hits the fan with your family over the lack of save the date...... I mean you don't NEED to send a STD card in order to later send an invitation.

All of these comments have helped me so much. I'm going to leave him off the save the dates list for sure. I'm just going to go with my gut when I get closer to mailing the invites. Thank you everyone!