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Savvy March 2022

Late Rsvps

Bridgett, on March 1, 2022 at 7:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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We sent out our invitations for our wedding with an RSVP card that came with a pre-stamped and addressed envelope back in late October. We requested to have them back by February 12th (our wedding is March 13th) so that we could get our final headcount to our caterer. Today my soon to be husband got a text from one of his uncles saying their family of 4 will be in attendance. We signed a final contract with our caterers last week. Are we in the wrong to tell them they can attend the ceremony but will not be able to eat at the reception?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on March 4, 2022 at 7:11 PM

Devoted October 2021
A · on March 1, 2022 at 7:50 PM
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I would ask your caterer if you can add them, these things happen, and they made be able to accommodate. I think it’s worth reaching out to the caterer prior to telling the uncle anything. See if you can’t find a solution, because not feeding them would be super rude (even though they should have been more cognizant of the rsvp date!).
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Super March 2022
Candace · on March 1, 2022 at 7:59 PM
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When was your caterer's deadline? Our caterer only needed one week ahead of the wedding for the final count. I would try to add them. It would be rude to tell your uncle that. If you can't adjust the final number, you can just tell him sorry but the rsvp has past and you can't adjust the numbers for them to attend.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on March 1, 2022 at 9:21 PM
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Agree with others - check with your caterer. They can usually accommodate late minute changes as long as they aren’t major.
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on March 2, 2022 at 7:42 AM
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Check with caterer first. The worst that could happen is they say no. Are you having plated or buffet? If it’s buffet you may not even have an issue.
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Savvy December 2021
Veronica · on March 2, 2022 at 11:16 AM
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I had this very situation with my friend and her family. She missed the RSVP and then called to tell me they could come. It was uncomfortable, but I had to tell her and tell her that the contract had been signed, and we could not add anyone on. Unfortunately their lack of planning does not need to become your headache. I am glad I did because they tend to be flaky, and later it turns out they would have not come (long story). Having said that, caterers are usually willing to add people on after the cutoff, just not remove. Use your judgment so you don't get stuck paying for people that will stand you up at the last minute. And it is my personal opinion that allowing them to come to the ceremony would end up being a nuisance, and will just remind you of that they did not RSVP. I would not offer them the ceremony only option. Good luck!
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Rockstar April 2021
Alisha · on March 4, 2022 at 10:22 AM
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Check with your caterer to see about the change. My caterer needed my count one a week before the wedding. I was in the same situation and I talk to my caterer about adding in about 4 people and they were fine with it. They usually try to accommodate if it a minor change.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on March 4, 2022 at 7:11 PM
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Invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks ahead of the wedding, with the RSVP due about two weeks prior. If they are sent too early, this is what happens, people forget to mail them back, or forget the date, toss the invitations etc.
I would ask your caterer if they can accommodate.
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