Late RSVP=Angry Guests?

People see what they want to see and believe what they want, they conveniently miss the part why it's important why rsvp'ing is important. If you can make room for them, do so, if not, they have been warned, not much else you can do.

I get the RSVP deadline thing, but having a deadline 2 months in advance is too early. So, I get why people didn't rush. Typically, invites are sent around 2 months. When does your caterer need numbers?

It's too far out. Let them in, because you're the one who set the unreasonable deadline.

ETA: Didn't realize OP was having a DW

I completely understand why you're angry, but 2 months before the wedding, would it really be that difficult to accommodate a few stragglers? Maybe the reason they are angry is because they think you could fit them in 2 months out, but are choosing not to? I have never had or been to a destination wedding, and I don't know the lay of the land, just trying to think out loud as to the possible cause of your guests acting up.

Futuremrslav, is 2 months unreasonable for a destination wedding? I guess if the "destination" is 2 towns over, then yes, but if it's a reserved kind of deal in the tropics, 2 months doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me.

Oh, I missed the DW part of the post.

In that case, I'm going to change my answer. You're not wrong for being annoyed, and I guess 2 months is fine. But, if they already booked flights, etc., I'd let them attend.

Just as clarification - a lot of DW have to have an earlier deadline. Often you won't be able to hold rooms for as long etc. My dad used to work as Customer Services Manager for a hotel in the Med that did a lot of DW - and they would give the bride and groom a room block but they could only hold it for x number of days. Otherwise they risked losing business, especially in the summer months.

Just to give a little helpful information.

Yup, sorry, OP for the unnecessary harshness.

Thank you all for your comments. Yes, the deadline had to be in by July 5, so I begged them for a July 18 date. That's as far as they would allow me to go. I feel I did all I could to ensure they could still be counted. Think I'll add this info at the top of the post.

Oh well they snooze they lose. Seriously people need to be more responsible. Either you can go or not. You gave them ample notice and even pushed the time back for them.

If I understand correctly, it's not up to Lexi to allow them-

they were given the date, and if they had a issue with it then letting it pass doesn't help.

sorry they are mad- :/

You have every right to be annoyed at getting attitude. I spent years working in the hotel business in Chicago so I know first hand how insanely fast hotels sell out in the summer and that the rates skyrocket. We started literally campaining, STD in Feb, reminders during conversations with guests, all begging them to book their reservations as early as possible. The block dates/RSVP dates came and went and only now am I getting calls from people upset and demanding I do something because our main hotel is sold out and the price on the back up has gone from the $189 block rate to $439/night. At a certain point the guests have to do their part, you did everything you could to set it up for them. If they didn't take advantage, that's their fault.

I am sort of having a DW. Its on the other side of the country and most of the guests live on the east coast. The only hotel has very limited rooms and I am going to get shit for this, but I sent out STDs a year in advance, then sent the invites just after New Year with a April 1st RSVP date. BECAUSE I could only hold the block of rooms till April 30th. (we marry in August).

OP. I totally understand why you did what you did as I had to do it too. I called all of my guests and let them know of the situation with the rooms and why the date so early. Most understood and took care of it. Half way through April. I got a call from the hotel asking to make sure all of my guests that were going to book did it before April 30th because the hotel had already sold out and the only rooms left were the ones in my block.

All of my guests secured a room with one room left over. It pays to plan.

Wow, especially for something like a DW/cruise where the cut-off date isn't even YOUR date, its determined by the resort/cruise/airline/whatever. Sucks to suck, people!

It's a trend that I don't understand -- this casual approach to RSVPs. It's not a suggested date just because it says "S'il Vous Plait". Adding "please" is just being polite.

I don't know if there's any etiquette on this, but if I were having a DW, I would add a note or post script with the invitation that pointed out that this wedding is a DW, and as such, the RSVP is a final date for reservations. I'd let the invitee know that while you'd prefer a written response, you'd be willing to accept e-mail responses, text responses, or phone calls.

They have no right to be angry with you. How hard is it to send an email or make a phone call? It's not. It would take all of 30 seconds to tell you that they wanted to attend. They wouldn't get away with missing deadlines on the job, and they have no reason to be upset with you because they missed a deadline in their personal lives. Actually, you have a reason to be upset with them. I'm certain you wanted these people to attend your wedding, and they obviously could have. They blew it, and that probably hurts you.

Wow how frustrating! I think those guests are very inconsiderate especially since there are clearly more things to get in line for DW and you reminded them of the deadline. They have no right to be mad at you girl !

I know I'm gonna deal with the same thing with hotels for people...they keep on saying yeah yeah but they have NO idea that once the blocks are gone they're severely screwed. Oh well.

I'm a lazy asshole who never RSVPs. But I also don't complain when I miss out because of it. Meh. It's not a reflection on the couple or their importance to me, it's just that I'm a lazy asshole.

I'm curious as to why these people think that the blame is on anyone but them? if there was a deadline it was there for a reason. how do they expect you to move mountains for them?

I have no tolerance for it. Our RSVPs are due in July 31st and I haven't received all of them. One thing I find funny with mine is all of my friends RSVP'd quicker than my own family. Not sure why its taking so long since they went out late May/early June. UGHHHH!!

I'm not surprised about the attitude. We didn't have a DW but did get attitude from some guests when we followed up. My thesis supervisor emailed his RSVP the day before we had to give the venue our numbers (over 2 weeks after the deadline), and sent a snarky and uncalled-for email along with it. Just ignore them