This is sort of a long rant but I desperately need some advice on how to handle this situation –
I’m a bridesmaid in a very unorganized last minute destination wedding where the bride is not communicating the details to the bridal party. While my friend was engaged for years she decided to have a very last minute wedding with only 3 months notice and is being very cagey about the details to everyone in the wedding party. There are 2 bridesmaids (myself included) and the MOH – both bridesmaids live in a different country and are flying in for the wedding (at extreme personal expense financially and work wise since no notice was given for international travel).
With such short notice everything is very stressful, for both the bride and for the bridal party. I have offered assistance and help in the planning but the bride is taking it all very personally, as if I am asking too many questions and harassing her. Yet she complained to me that the other bridesmaid isn’t asking about the wedding and isn’t showing support. So she’s mad at me for asking too much and mad at the other for asking too little? She is a good friend and I really do care about her wedding and want it to be amazing for her. So far the only things set in stone are the venue and date. The venue is very high end and it’s not a casual wedding at all, so planning is extra important. Anytime I inquire as to the bridesmaid dresses, her dress, photographer, flowers, centerpieces, menu, cake, makeup/hair, what time I need to arrive etc I am met with irritation and borderline aggression. Being this unorganized is totally out of character and I am genuinely worried for her.
My wedding was a few years ago so I understand she’s under an immense amount of pressure but I’m confused as to how to handle this, I am an extremely organized person and my bridal party (she was in my wedding too) had a year advance notice to make arrangements etc. In the end it’s not MY wedding, it’s hers and if she’s ok not having anything planned/organized then I know I should just go with the flow I’m just finding it difficult since I know it’s not the big day she’s dreamed of. Should I just completely back off and show up on the day ready to do as I’m told? Has anyone else been involved in a last minute unplanned wedding?
