So is anyone else having trouble with last minute rsvps? I planned for extra but my wedding is in 11 days and I've had 3 people rsvp today. The invitation said to reply by Sept 1st. This just makes my anxiety high due to catering and seating!!
That would make me so mad. Although it's too late now, I think RSVP etiquette says that we call them a wee before the due date and get an answer right then and there otherwise we let them know we cannot accommodate. However, in reality of course we want these people to come, even if they are late RSVP's
Again you have to know (guess) how those on the guest list are. Probably the older people would be diligent on the RSVP where younger people might see it as an open invitation (just not paying attention to decorum).
If you've done your due diligence to try and get answers out of people, then you're within your right to deny them. Having said that, if RSVP's are set too early, then people will be really lax about responding, from what I've seen here on the boards. That's why we say to set RSVP 2 weeks or so before when the final caterer count is due.
Same thing happen to us. The week before the wedding we’d gotten a few RSVP that came in. We were right at our numbers, but it’s always annoying, especially when a deadline is given. Luckily for us we had the space to accommodate.
You should have called guests who didn’t reply on the evening of the 1st to confirm and not hang up until they give you a yes or no answer. Once the deadline by the caterer has passed, you may not be allowed to change anything and they would have to be considered a no because they didn’t respond on time.
It definitely happens. We even had 5 people RSVP on the day of (thankfully just for the evening reception) but we also had an evening guest turn up during food.
I understand that traditional etiquette may be that hosts should chase up their guests but its 2022 and the bride and groom have enough to do without harassing full grown adults for a response.
If they've missed the RSVP deadline you either need to make the choice to make it work (if you can with caters etc) or you need to let them know that it is too late to make any changes, perhaps they could come after the food for the evening if you're doing it that way?
We were lucky that things balanced out with last minute RSVPs and last minute cancellations, but equally with a relaxed buffet its not such a big deal. If you are dealing with seating charts etc it would be a nightmare
It is tough to have late rsvp. We had last minute rsvp and we accommodated them. We did have the space to accommodate them and our venue worked with us on that issue. If you can accommodate them and if you can’t accommodate them I would let them know.