Last Minute Marriage

Invoke Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No".

I wouldn't do it. Stick to your guns and just say no!

I would say no but kindly suggest she get a family member to throw her the shower.

Say sorry I’m not able to pull that together on such short notice. End of conversation you do not need to explain yourself.

I would not host that shower. I very much doubt I’d ever attend a shower after someone is married.

I'm going against popular opinion here. I think if she is important to you which since you're her MOH I'm sure she is you have to support her. Although you might find her moving a little to fast you can't tell what the future holds. My parents were married within 5 months of knowing each other and are celebrating 40 years together. This guy might be her one. The whole point of showers is to help new couples set up a home so I wouldn't judge to harshly that she's trying to supplement for what she can't do herself. I'm sure she is part of your bridal party and if you are like most of us on here you are in super wedding planning mode and you are constantly bouncing ideas of your close friends and family. Maybe she feels since they have to rush it that she'll never get her dream wedding and is a little upset that she can't have everyone she knows and love to share on her big day and just wants a piece of that. I think you have to be there for your friend. I don't think you have to spend crazy amounts of money but a potluck at someone's house can be super nice and it stops drama from her refusing to participate in your wedding festivities.

There are other ways to support her than to be coerced into throwing a shower for her. It's kind of in bad taste for her to be putting this much pressure on you to throw her a shower anyway, much less for the purposes you're describing. I would definitely be wary of hosting one as well.

Listen, she doesn’t have to tell everyone she’s getting married, since it’s not anyone’s business, but I think it’s really greedy for her to want a shower after she’s already married.

A MOH, two years and a different man later? No. lol, I would laugh at this friend and tell her she's delusional with this shower and MOH talk. Are you going to the ceremony?

View Quoted Comment I just found out about the whole thing so I’ll be at work during it. I’ve done everything i can to try to be off. But it’s near impossible in my line of work.

Its wrong of her to be "forcing" you to throw her a shower. You don't ask for one, especially in the way that she is. I would tell her that there is no way you can throw her a shower and that it makes you really uncomfortable that she wants one after the wedding. Tell her if someone else throws one, you would love to attend - but that you are unable to host one for her yourself.

I think your friend is being very unfair in this situation. She’s allowed to live her life and elope if she wants but she can’t expect to dump this on ur lap at the last second. How are u even her MOH at this point when that was two years ago and a different fiancé? Did she ask you again and you agreed? Who’s going to be their witnesses? Is her family invited or even know yet? I would not want to be the person inviting people to a shower until I knew the Bride announced her elopement and delt with any issues from family.

That's pretty tacky of her. Showers are for family and friends to mingle. Gifts are not always given and some gifts are not always what you want. If she already had one I would tell her I don't have the money or time to give you a second shower.

Honestly, I think your friend is being really unfair to you. First off, a shower should never be "expected". If you wanted to throw her a shower, that would be one thing, but she's wrong to pressure you into throwing one. Second, it is rude to invite anyone to a bridal shower/gift giving wedding event if they are not invited to the wedding. I'd definitely tell her no to the shower especially since she is already getting one anyway.

No, I would not host. There's a difference between being supportive and being asked last minute to spend hundreds (or more with that size guest list!) of dollars on a bridal shower for an already married woman. She's acting in poor taste asking for it and you are well within your rights to say no. She may be offended but that's a risk I'd be more than willing to take.

I think it's odd to have a shower after you're married, especially just to get gifts. If I were you, I'd suggest replacing the shower with a "we got married" party...similar to what people do after elopements. Maybe some of the sorority sisters could co-host with you. I know this is an expensive option, but I think turning the party into something other than a shower is more appropriate. Or politely decline and reach out to the coworkers about co-hosting.

Do not host.

Seems rude to ask someone to host a bridal shower for them.

Also, I'm likely not going to a bridal shower after a wedding... sounds like she should host a housewarming.

MOH titles don't carry over....

And I say this as someone who was engaged, and had a wedding party and when I got engaged again I *asked* (some) of those friends again.

Just because you were her MOH, doesn't mean you still are with a new wedding.

Also, you don't need to throw her a shower, if she wants a shower that badly she can throw it for her self.

I'm so sorry but I kind of can't stop giggling at this... you were her MOH when she was engaged to someone else 2 years ago? That does not in any way shape or form make your her MOH still now. If she asks you to attend the wedding as witness or MOH that's something you can decide to do.

But even if you do it is up to you if you want to throw her a shower BEFORE the wedding (so like right now).

Tell her you aren't able to do this for her and hope she can be mature about it - although maturity doesn't seem to describe her attitude about this.

I can't believe this is even a thing she is upset about. That's just not the way any of this works....