Last minute bridesmaid

I'm just afraid that if I ask her now she will see it as an afterthought or rude that I didn't ask her back in February.

You're right. She will.

Personally, I'd take it as a little rude, but would still be appreciative. You can explain that you don't know why you didn't ask her before and that you feel terrible about it but that you'd love to have her in your wedding. My only thing is that you're rushing the time to order her dress a little. She would need to have the money to do so like...right now.

I would absolutely see it as an afterthought and I'd be hurt.

If it were me, I would be hurt. You might also be putting her in a tough position financially as she'd have to make sure she ordered her dress right away.

Unless your relationship changed over the past 4 months, I wouldn't ask her. I think this is only OK in a "we got so close recently and I'd really love to have you standing next to me" situation.

You know what - I would really like you to be one of my bridesmaids and I regret not asking you sooner

Unpopular opinion, but if I had a friend that asked me later, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I like how Daniel put it. If a friend asked me that, I wouldn't hesitate.

There must have been a reason why you didn't ask her in the first place so she technically IS an afterthought.

You also need to take into consideration the amount of money that it would affect YOUR budget. You'd have to add on an additional bouquet, gift, anything else that you plan on getting your bridal party. Anything that you have printed/will print or posted on your wedding website.

Just FYI that I'm letting my bm's choose their own dresses. One ordered hers back in March and didn't get it until just a few days ago on David's Bridal. Imagine if I had chosen a dress for them and it was backordered like that AND they still had to get alterations. Just a few other factors to keep in mind.

I think it is a little odd. However, we just had to do a last minute ask for one of our groomsmen after the original best man fell off the face of the earth. (Quit responding and didn't show up to the bachelor/guys weekend he originally said he would attend... an awkward situation to say the least) In the end they were totally happy to join our wedding party and understood. However ours was more circumstance and in your case it may seem a little rude, though I would hope as a friend she would be excited. It also may be a little inconsiderate for last minute finances as she would now need to get a dress, get alterations etc.

I agree with this 100%.

Hi Cali,

Welcome to WeddingWire and congrats on your engagement!

If you do decide to go the route of adding her as a bridesmaid: It's really up to you and how close you are with this person, how you think she will take it, and thinking about how you might go about asking her in a way that emphasizes that, like you said, she was not an afterthought.

Have you already found the other bridesmaids dresses?

If you have any other questions throughout your wedding planning process, please don't hesitate to connect or post another discussion.

We are always happy to help!