"Last minute" bridesmaid addition?

I just wonder if she would be more hurt by being a sort of second thought, as opposed to not being asked at all? I'm sure she would find out that you asked the others months ago, and that might sting more than just being a guest would.

She sounds unreliable. I wouldn't go out of my way for her.

You didn't ask your closest friend to be a bridesmaid because....you were worried life may happen while you're engaged? Things might actually happen to her to make her (gasp) cancel plans, flake, focus on herself? I know I'm sounding bitchy, but I just don't get it.

You ask a person to be in your wedding party because you love them and want to honor THEM. That's it. You want to share your day with this people. Not make them jump through damn hoops.

Don't ask her. Just.....don't.

Logistically, I think you could pull it off, but the question is, should you? How would you ask her? How would you explain what you just told us without hurting her feelings?

I had a small bridal party. 1 MOH and 1 Bridesmaid.

The BM I chose had been my friend for about 10 years, the one I didnt choose about 15. Both were the type where we had an amazing friendship that no matter how long it went without talking, we always picked up where we left off.

The girl I didnt ask.... Was flaky in responding to everything. I wanted to meet for a coffee during my "decision making process" and that even took months because "things kept coming up". In the end, she didnt even respond to my Wedding invite, kept telling me she would get back to me because of x, y and z happening in her personal life and then I found out on Facebook that she was going to be in Cuba the week of my wedding. Needless to say, I am glad I didnt ask her.

I would be honest with her about what's happened and how I couldn't ask her since we couldn't meet up. Lying and hiding the fact would not be right. (She's canceled plans on me last minute many times in the past, I've just come to accept it as a part of our friendship and learned to not finalize plans until we actually meet). I guess in a sense, it would be up to her to ultimately decide. Our relationship is kind of interesting that we've never referred to each other as "best friends" (she will talk about her best friend in front of me referring to her as her best friend) but we've been close. As some of my bridesmaid have said, I've made it this far without her being my bridesmaid and she is happy to be honored as my honorary bridesmaid so perhaps it's not absolutely necessary for me to ask her now.

Another factor I considered was the fact that she wouldn't know any other guests at the wedding and she does not have a significant other that she could come with. I thought that she could be a part of the bridal party and that would help with her being able to enjoy the wedding. I know I am rambling on random thoughts, so forgive me. (I am notorious for being indecisive).

I wouldn't. I have a flakey bridesmaid. I love her to death, thats why I asked her to be in my bridal party. But the whole time I've been chasing her around, trying to include her in activities, and its the biggest head ache EVER.

I think it's just rude to invite her so late and so long after the others. I don't understand why you didn't ask her sooner if she is that important. Maybe she WAS arguing with her mom and was having a really rough day. You could have picked up the phone and asked. She may feel second best being asked so late in the game. I wouldn't.

Due to my recent experience NO! Just no. If she is flaky now, she probably will be during your wedding. Save yourself the stress.

I say no. We don't know the situation, but obviously your current bridesmaids are really excited on adding her.