Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Jessalyn
Dedicated September 2020

Language advice for invitations?

Jessalyn, on January 2, 2020 at 11:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

Hi everyone,

Wedding invitations are next on our to-do list and I'm feeling a little concerned about how to word them. We're basically paying for our wedding ourselves. My mom gave us a generous contribution and my fiancé's parents are hosting our rehearsal dinner, but the bulk of it is on us and we're definitely planning and hosting the wedding ourselves.
I've been thinking we'd do "Together with their families, bride & groom..." to acknowledge my mom's and his parents' contributions, but I read something recently that people listed on the invite are essentially being acknowledged as hosts, so now I'm worried that that language will inadvertently designate our parents as hosts, which is not our intent. What do you think, does the host piece of invitations only apply if you're listing people by name, or would "Together with their families" imply that both his parents and mine are hosting the event with us?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Jessalyn, on January 3, 2020 at 11:26 AM
  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am paying for the majority of our wedding, though both sets of parents are contributing a small portion. We used "Together with their families" to acknowledge that the families had some contribution, but they are not the sole hosts. If I were to receive an invitation with that wording, I'd assume the couple was paying for the majority of the wedding, thus, hosting.

    • Reply
  • Jessalyn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jessalyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    That's helpful, thanks Nicole! I would assume either that the couple was paying for the majority of it or that both sets of parents were sharing the cost, so I wanted to see how others read that.

    • Reply
  • Jmz
    Expert July 2022
    Jmz ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I read it like it's a group effort and maybe also nobody's business who's paying for what 😂🙈 I'm going to use that in our invites too because it's more complicated. Unless one person/set of parts are outright paying for the entire wedding and planning it all, I find it's more tactful to not be overly specific. But that's just my opinion, not etiquette.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We said "together with their families" and all of our parents were fine with it. My husband's father paid for our rehearsal dinner ($3,000). My father paid for the bulk of our wedding ($40,000) and my mom & stepfather paid for the other part of our wedding ($15,000). My father & mother also contributed to our honeymoon. My husband's mother didn't pay for anything (we paid for her dress & hair to be done, and his father paid for her hotel room). I thought it would be super weird to mention some of our parents but not all of them.

    • Reply
  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I honestly never read much into this until I was proofing our own invites. The more I thought about it the more it felt petty to try and diminish anyone’s contribution. Each parent contributed what they were able to and we were grateful for any contribution. We did:


    Together with
    Brides parents
    And Grooms parents
    Bride
    And
    Groom
    Request the pleasure of your company...
    • Reply
  • Jessalyn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jessalyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I know, right?! There's so much subtext going on in invite language, it's kind of ridiculous.

    • Reply
  • Jessalyn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jessalyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Agreed, it would definitely feel awkward to mention some parents but not all.

    • Reply
  • Jessalyn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jessalyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks, Rachel! I'm mostly concerned with not unintentionally indicating our parents are serving as hosts because I don't want them to end up getting questions from guests that they won't be able to answer. It sounds like your solution was a good one!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics