Lack of family support

Hi! First, congratulations! Engagements are so exciting. There are so many reasons that can explain your dad’s reaction. He may empathize with your pain because of the loss of your mom and how that emptiness may play a role. He may not understand how you need him or how he can be of help. Weddings are not as unique to men as it is to women. So, he may not even understand how he needs to support you. He may feel like he’s losing his daughter. Are parents always us sees us as their babies no matter how old we are. So, he might feel overwhelmed that his baby isn’t much of a baby anymore. He can also be experiencing personal concerns that he doesn’t share. There’s so many things but you won’t know until you have a real personal and intimate moment with him expressing how you feel. I know that my FMIL is still dealing with her oldest and first son, my FH, starting his own family. My oldest brother barely told me congrats. It sucks. Once you have that conversation, if you still don’t get anywhere, just continue to reinforce your love for him and how much the support will mean for you. To make peace: remember that the only people who will ever be as excited about this time is you and your fiancé. You’d be shocked. The day of, your dad will probably ball like a baby fresh out of the womb. I wish you the best!

Is your dad being negative or is he just not giving you the happy excited response you were hoping for? I understand having high expectations for such a huge moment in your life, but if your dad isn’t generally the kind of person who jumps for joy with big life events (graduations, moving out, babies, etc) I don’t think it’s fair to expect that kind of response from him now. It may just take some time for him to come around. Some dads take the “giving your daughter away” concept very seriously.

Sounds like this is something you need to talk out with your dad. If you’re close and have always had a good relationship, maybe he’s feeling like he’s losing you. There’s lots of things that could be going on in his mind, but you won’t know until you ask.

Welcome to the WeddingWire community Abi!! Congratulations on your engagement! It really is such an exciting time and you must be so happy.

I’m sorry that you felt like you didn’t get the response from your dad that you were expecting. That can’t be easy to deal with. It is great to hear that your FH included your dad in your proposal! That must have been so special for you.

Do you find that your dad typically finds it hard to express his feelings? This could be a major player in his reaction, he may not know how to express his happiness or excitement for you.

I know it may not be easy but I think that having a conversation about how you are feeling will really help.

Congrats on your engagement. Accept that your dad is not interested. And if he and his new wife have kids, he will only care about them. His new wife will make any of her kids the center of their lives. Make the best of your new life with your DH and his family. Get counseling if you need it, but you cannot make your dad care.

My dad isn’t the show your excitement kind of guy. That doesn’t mean he’s no supportive. Some guys just aren’t into all this wedding stuff.