Since I got engaged about three months ago, I have felt hurt by a general lack of enthusiasm about our engagement (particularly from my future in-laws). My fiancé and I flew out to visit his family for a week over the summer and, during that trip, he and I drove a few hours to stay at a romantic and private Airbnb on the Oregon coast, where he proposed on the beach. We stayed there for a couple of nights and went back to spend the rest of the trip with his family. On the drive back to his parents' house, I was ecstatic, wondering how his family (brother, sister-in-law, parents, and grandma) might celebrate our engagement. Would they take us out for a special dinner? Have some kind of surprise waiting for us upon our arrival? When we arrived at his parents' house, they hugged us, said congratulations, and then went about their day as usual. There were no surprises, no special dinner, nothing at all. His brother and sister-in-law were out of town, so they were not home to celebrate, but his SIL texted us the same day and congratulated us. However, his brother did not congratulate us until a week after we got engaged, which I thought was strange and hurtful. For context, my fiancé's parents are not big drinkers, so when I saw a bottle of champagne in the back of the fridge, I assumed it had likely been sitting there for a while and that they were not in a hurry to drink it. I asked them if we could pop the champagne to celebrate our engagement, and my future MIL said, "No, we are saving that champagne for our anniversary next month." She also did not offer to purchase a different bottle of champagne to celebrate us, so the answer was essentially, "No, we will not be popping any champagne to celebrate this occasion." I felt as though our engagement was not exciting to them whatsoever, that they were completely uninterested in celebrating, and that their anniversary was more important to them than our engagement. The rest of the weekend felt just like every other normal, regular trip we have taken to visit them.
I am also one of the MOHs in my best friend's wedding, so I am helping her plan her bachelorette party. The other MOH is her other best friend. I flew to Ohio to visit her this past weekend so my co-MOH and I could meet each other in person and begin collaborating to plan her bachelorette party. My co-MOH seemed friendly enough, but perhaps a bit prickly. I can't put my finger on it. She wasn't mean to me or anything, but I did not get the sense that she was particularly interested in being my friend, which is fine because she doesn't have to be my friend to be my co-MOH. I couldn't tell if she liked me or not. While we were all sitting together and planning, she noticed my engagement ring and said, "Oh, I forgot you got engaged." I smiled and said, "Oh yeah, my proposal was perfect and I love my ring!" She then said nothing in response and went back to planning. I feel like most people would follow that up with a "Congratulations," or "Let me see the ring," or "Tell me about the proposal," or literally any other response other than ignoring that comment.
I am a highly sensitive person (HSP), so I understand that I may be reading too much into these things. My best friend's future in-laws paid for her and her fiancé to take a super expensive trip to Greece so that he could propose to her there. They all spent 2 weeks celebrating in Greece with champagne, dancing, and good times. I'm not saying I expected anything grand like a whole proposal vacation in Europe. However, I did expect more than a hug and "congratulations" and then not speaking about it again. Perhaps I am wrong for expecting my future in-laws to do something special to celebrate our engagement in the first place. Has anyone else experienced disappointment due to a general lack of enthusiasm from family, friends, and/or acquaintances? Any theories as to why this might be? I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I feel like my engagement is a big deal and that we deserve to be celebrated and to feel special.
