Lack of enthusiasm from Family & Friends

Tough situation. I have been there before. I suggest you to discuss with your fiancé about the budget. Write a list of what you guys want and estimate the total. If you can’t afford it, buy some times and earn the money before booking anything. Good luck with the planning! ❤️

Would you consider a micro wedding with only close family?

View Quoted Comment I was going to suggest the same thing. With a micro wedding, you could have your immediate family and your closest friends present. And your money stretches a lot further with a micro wedding, since you don’t have to rent out a huge venue or pay for a ton of people’s meals. It would likely allow you to have a lot of the dream elements of your wedding, just on a smaller scale.

You have to plan a wedding you can afford. Like any thing else, something you dream of may be beyond your means, for 150 people. But that is a lot, due you have huge families? How much money do you have. How many family members do you have, and FI? And what are the things you dream of?

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for the suggestions! I think a micro wedding would probably be most manageable for us and allow us to have more of what we want.

It sounds like you and your future spouse have some work to do to get on the same page about wedding planning. Start with a budget that you can both agree on (that fits within your finances, of course!) and then discuss in depth what you each want and don't want for a wedding.

I wouldn't put the burden of being enthusiastic to plan your wedding on your friends and family. Lots of people don't enjoy the process of wedding planning, and that's OK. Once you and your partner are communicating and compromising well together, everything will go smoother and you won't feel like you need external validation.

Honestly, no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you. If you can't afford the wedding of your dreams, I would probably wait to get married rather than compromising on your vision especially if you want to have 150 people there because with Covid things are up in the air. If you can't wait or don't want to wait to get married, then you guys need to sit down and figure out a budget. I would also only talk to those about your plans that are actually excited like his family.

My FH and I compromised. I wanted to elope but he couldn't get married w/o his parents present. We compromised on having a tiny destination wedding with only our parents present. The entire thing and travel should cost less than a grand. Pm me for more info.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do to increase anyone's enthusiasm. People love you and are happy for you but no one will have your same level of excitement and that is normal and ok. Just focus on you and your fiance and planning the wedding you want.

Weddings are incredibly joyous occasions but something you must come to realise is that no one will necessarily be as excited about your wedding as you are. Your friends and family are all likely very happy for you, but it is just one of those things where you will feel elated to a whole other level and their excitedness is unlikely to match that.

Other than this, I think you and your fiancé need to sit down and decide what you want to do about this wedding. It is important to your fiancé that his family is present, but given you are concerned about finances and are happy to elope, I am not sure why you are planning for such a large wedding. I think you two need to sit down and fully discuss what it is you want and what you’re willing to compromise on before spending any more time and money on your current plans. Good luck 😊

First of all, congratulations on your engagement! There is so much going this time of year and with Covid on top of it, many people are doing all they can to survive the holidays. It's hard to be excited with the uncertainty of next year at the moment. So many brides on this forum are already questioning their September weddings and I think any wedding over 100 will still be a risk with a vaccine or not.

The lack of enthusiasm might come from you being college students and people thinking its too early for you to get married. Family might have reservations, and your college aged friends are likely broke and being involved in a wedding is intimidating from a cost perspective. Plus there is Covid. Covid is crazy stressful and it can be really difficult for people to get out of their own funk right now. Many are struggling with their mental health and just trying to get by. A wedding is probably not their priority right now. Also, not sure when you are planning for, but a lot of people don't get that "into" weddings in the distant future. If your wedding is still more than a year away, don't fret about how excited about it or not other people seem.

You should do what makes you happy, and if eloping is going to do that, go that route. It's going to be far less expensive and you can focus a lot more on you and not everyone else. Alternatively I'd suggest a longer engagement and planning a wedding for 2022 or later. It will give you and your fiance time to grow as a couple and experience life beyond college, Covid should be less of an issue then, you'll have more time to save, and it will allow your friends and family to "come around" to getting excited about your wedding.

I think some of this is natural. It is still 9 months away, and I and lots of others don't get excited until the last 6 months or so. That is when Bridesmaids should be looking at gowns, to order around 4 months. It is when people who have volunteered to do showers 2-3 months out are beginning to plan. When it begins to seem real. Tjat is before covid, when everything scheduled ses to change or be gone last minute. By early summer, about 150 million people should have had vaccinations, and 50 million had Covid. People will realize we has turned the corner, and things can only get better. As there is nothing a BM is supposed to do until under 6 months, there is still nothing to be excited about. But both things will change by about April, when it seems real.
The trend toward people starting to plan far earlier than the traditional 9-12 months out, leaves a while between happy engagement, and time to do things for anyone but the bride and groom. It will happen as it gets closer.