KWR: My Grandmother can't make it to the wedding

I have a few older relatives who may not be able to come because of distance. Maybe you could have a video or photo album made for her so she can still feel included?

DH's grandfather and step grandmother were unable to make it to Georgia from Penn. Normally he makes the drive down at Christmastime every year (he really likes the long drive) but his health rapidly declined in the year before the wedding.

I have a family member who can't make it. Still trying to figure out how to make him feel included so I'll be following!

Luckily we are having a videographer so I'll be able to send him the video but that would still be two months after the wedding.

Yes, my grandmother too. She is in her mid-late 80's but pretty well overall with some increasing health issues, but it's a 12 hour flight to my wedding and after months of saying she will come she has finally said it's just too much for her and her husband. I'm very sad and disappointed about it and sometimes I have moments where I feel compassionate and understanding that of course it is too much but other times I have moments that I'm not too proud of myself for just wishing she would just come because I want her to be there and I feel guilty for having it far away from her. It's such a hard situation to be at peace with but at the end of the day there's nothing to be done about it so all you can do is like you said try to focus on the positives. After the wedding we will do a small gathering near where my grandma lives, show the video, and have a celebratory dinner with a few other relatives and friends who aren't coming too. Could you do something to celebrate at her house with just her and a few close family? I actually have many close friends and relatives that are not coming because of the distance, but my grandma not being there hits the hardest.

Could she Skype in to see the ceremony?

DH's grandparents didn't come because they're about a 5 hour drive away and also in their 90s with mild to moderate health problems. It was really sad for him, but before we even set a date I asked if he wanted us to have it down there (about the same number of guests or more were local to there than were local to us), and he declined. They know it would have been hard on their family to have them there even if it was local, since they'd need help getting up, not be able to hear anything, etc. Since no one from that side came save for his mother, we're going to have a private celebration with them the next time we're there. They love seeing pictures and being able to read our vows.

My grandfather has late stage Alzheimers so he's not really fit to travel. Assuming he is still alive in a year (I hate to think of it that way but the possibility is there), my grandmother hopes to come and have their daughter stay home and take care of him.

Would she be far from your venue? Maybe you can stop by in your dress and gift her your bouquet before reception or morning after. Or as people said have someone FaceTime or Skype.

None of my grandparents are alive. I'm not sure if I even want to do a memorial. Not because they don't deserve it, but because I breakdown when I see their pics.

My fmil can't. of course now that she's in home hospice, it is unlikely she will still be alive in five months. it's hard, but you have to carry on as best you can.

We are potentially going to have maybe 10-15 family members who won't be able to make it because they're not able to travel long distances and NY to GA is just too far. Family is very important to me and FH so we're planning a dinner in NY a month or two after the wedding so those who can't make it can still celebrate with us.

We aren't telling most people up front- we would still prefer they come to the wedding- they're included in our guest count and will be invited, but we are keeping the second event in the back of our minds (and budget).

Since it sounds like it's just one person for you, I like the other ideas of skype/ FaceTime or photo album or video. When my cousin got married, her husbands father was skyped in.

The only people from my family who are actually making it is one set of grandparents and my parents. My other grandfather can't travel because of health reasons, and all of my aunts/uncles can't travel for either health or other commitment issues (which kind of makes you wonder what the point of STDs is). FH's grandfather may not be able to make it due to health either - that decision will probably be made the day of. This is one reason we decided to book a videographer - that way we could still share the ceremony with those who can't make it. Skyping is also a great idea if it is logistically feasible for you!

ETA: words are hard

My grandmother is in poor health, and one of the reasons we're going to my homestate to get married. Her house is actually blocks away from our venue, so she can go home early if she needs to, and whoever takes her can easily come back, or we can go see her easily if she's not able to come at all.

She is an hour from the venue, so it will be really hard for me to stop over. I thought about Skype, but she wouldn't be able to see me on the screen and doesn't really understand anything about smart phones. Maybe I could give her a call and say Hi on the wedding day and I am thinking of her. Thanks for the ideas!

Sorry to everyone who can't have family members come for whatever reason, it really is tough!

My grandma can't make it either, for health/travel reasons. She isn't well enough to travel, and she lives in FL while we're having our wedding in PA.

Our grandparents couldn't make it either... my husband and I are in our 30s so our grandparents are pretty elderly and immobile. Since our wedding was a bit of a destination to accommodate each family (we met in the middle) the grandparents just couldn't make. We could've forced it, but it would've been a real struggle for our parents to handle their transport and care and they wouldn't have been able to enjoy the wedding at all. It"is what it is" - unfortunately! I'm sorry!

And I tried to keep in in perspective: God forbid one of them took and fall or something while trying to get there.... it could be catastrophic at their age and health! I didn't want that on me.

My grandparents will most likely be unable to make it. It's heartbreaking because they practically raised me. We're going to live stream the ceremony, get them their own mini album, and we're even going to surprise them the day after by driving 2 hours in our wedding best to go see them and give my grandmother my bouquet.

I booked Reverent media for my videographer. They have an option that will video the wedding live, so family members can see the entire wedding even though they can't attend. Might be an option you want to look into. They are also relatively inexpensive compared to a lot of other videographers. Maybe another videographer in your area has a similar option if you aren't in TX.

I have a feeling FH and my grandmothers likely wont be able to attend. :o( Sorry that your grandma cant make it. Could someone tape and show her the ceremony?

My dad he's homebound. He also made a huge deal out of my mom wanting to attend (and therefore leaving him alone more than a few hours), so he didn't let her come either.

We skyped them into the ceremony though. Would you be able to do that?

ETA: Just saw your comment about skype. Would it help if someone she knows came to her place with a computer, so that she doesn't have to deal with a phone? And we had a computer at the venue too, so they were able to see the entire ceremony, not just bits of it.

FH's great grandmother is in her 90's so I wouldn't expect her to travel for our wedding, but he's not close with her so it doesn't bother us much. However, I am worried that FH's grandfather won't be able to make it. He's been fairly isolated since FH's grandmother passed and we've been getting closer since she got sick. I would hate for him miss our wedding, so I might see if we can arrange someone to drive him to the venue.