KWR: Got invited to a Bridal Shower but not the wedding

Yeah that's odd. I hope all these people don't assume they are invited.

Not even the ceremony?

@Lindsey she even posted info the day they're getting married & what town they're getting married in. That could give people mixed signals. I'm not offended but I'm sure others will be.

It's possible that this is the way her mom is reaching out for addresses. It is very possible that you are invited to her daughter's wedding. You wouldn't receive a formal, printed invitation to an October wedding until late August/early September.

I would contact this woman tomorrow, and this would be my message:

"Yes, I see that I've been invited, via Facebook, to attend _____'s wedding shower. I'm so excited to attend the shower and the wedding, so, would you like me to contact you more directly with my home address and the name of my fiance (our wedding is planned for next summer) so that the wedding invitation we're expecting will reach us? Just let me know how you'd like to receive this information. Thanks! Oh, you can call my cell at your convenience --- here's the number: 000-000-0000.""

If you don't receive a decisive reply, decline and move on.

If She wanted addresses why wouldn't she contact each individual separately? This is very odd..why put a general message for everyone on Facebook to see? I would die if my mother did this to me! Why would you want the whole world to know your wedding details! Very strange....

You may be invited to the wedding. Last year my friend got married and i got her shower invitation before I got the wedding invitation. She couldn't make up her mind on the invites lol

I was invited to the shower but not actual wedding which as small and private, awkward heck yeah. But a very good friend and I attended. After wedding they held a weekend get away with camping on their land 2 1/2 hours away to celebrate their marriage. That is

where I declined .

One gift was enough from me....

Invites wouldn't have gone out for an October wedding (unless it was a DW). I haven't sent out the invites for my own wedding, yet. So I think this is still up in the air. I do think that it's rude AF to post wedding details all over FB.

My reaction to this is the same as Rachel's. It's too early to say you're not invited to the wedding since invitations to an October wedding wouldn't go out until August.

Whether her mom did it intentionally or not, her post pointing out that they didn't have addresses for many of you can be interested as an invitation for everyone invited to the shower to send in their addresses. I'm don't think it's the best way to go about collecting addresses because it's not clear, but I bet several shower guests will PM the mom with their mailing address so they have it for the future (aka the wedding).

I like the way Rachel worded a potential response to this shower invite. It tactfully makes it clear that shower and wedding invites go hand in hand and you are excited about both. And yes, decline if your message is ignored or she has the audacity to reply telling you that you're not on her daughter's guest list for the wedding.