Kind of disappointed.. Bridal shower cancelled

The only reason I put this here... is because I would NEVER express my disappointment to my FSIL or anyone else in real life, because I was grateful to even be offered a bridal shower.

Not to sound heartless, my heart goes out for FBIL, but...If stuff is already purchased, would anyone else step in?

I'm sorry for your disappointment and I think you're managing this as graciously as possible.

I don't know, I'd be really upset. I think you're handling this well, but part of me would wonder exactly why she can't just finish the shower while focusing on her marital issues. If she's been planning for a month already, she's probably just about done. Seems kind of abrupt for her to just suddenly decide she needs to focus on her marriage. Makes me think something big just happened (not that that's any of your -- or our -- business).

Thanks for the kind words.. because internally I feel as if I am being a brat in having any disappointment, especially with the fact that originally I didn't want a shower.

As for anyone stepping in.. she wanted to ask my FMIL to step in, but I told her no because my FMIL is about to have back surgery and is already upset that she will be in a back brace for our wedding. Plus they just moved and has not finished unpacking so that would be completely unfair to ask her to take on something else. My FSIL doesn't know anyone in my family so I just don't see anyone taking over. Luckily not much had been bought... just the invitations and the deposit on the cake and a few decorations.. from what she has told me she only spent about 40 so far.

Aw.. I'm sorry to hear this, but maybe FMIL would have an idea for someone else to host? I mean, there's still time.

And if not, bridal showers are nice, but not the end of the world if you don't have one.

Shift your focus onto the wedding itself.

I don't think you're a brat at all. It really does make me wonder if something big happened in her marriage and it's making it too difficult for her to focus on anything else. I mean, a shower doesn't have to be a big deal. She can just invite a few people for a get-together. No reason it has to be some huge thing that needs all this planning.

@Elizabeth.. I think something big happened. The way she talked tonight it sounds like they may be heading to divorce court.. I hope not, but it is none of my business.

This sounds like a rough situation and you are definitely handling it with grace.

I am so sorry she is going throuh this. But no, you dont sound bratty at all. I think how you handled it was great and you have a right to be disappointed. You still have time, maybe she can ask another friend of yours to host it or yall can just do another one later.

Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear about your FBIL/FSIL. You don't sound like a brat at all. I hope everything works out for them.

@Elizabeth, when my first marriage ended, I could barely get out of bed some days. The thought of throwing a party to celebrate someone else's marriage would have been unthinkable.

Hugs to OP and your FILs. I hope everyone is OK.

Aww, I am sorry to hear about this Hopefully everything works out for FMIL/FBIL. You are handling it well and your seem to care a lot about your family and their situation to want to help pay her back.

@Orchids that's why I said I wondered if something big happened. That was the only explanation. That was said prior to the OP saying they may be headed for divorce.