Kids vs. Plus Ones

I think it's better to give plus ones than invite kids, but that's just me. BUT I've been to wedding with kids and they didn't terrorize anyone - they danced and had fun. I didn't see them there as a big deal, but I get why some people don't want them there. If I had kids, I'd rather bring someone than my kids- date night!

Kids: that all depends on what kind of feel you want for your wedding. Some people like having lots of kids running around, while others like to have a more elegant or party atmosphere. It's up to you guys. But I do think if you're having kids in the wedding, they should be at your reception. As for the event sitter, I looked into it and I don't think it's a good idea. Most people like to pick the people who will be taking care of the kids. Even if you pick a professional, some people might still prefer to have their kids with them. And where will you put them? Will they be allowed in the main reception if they want to see their parents? I think it just causes more problems than it's worth.

Plus ones: It depends on what you're talking about here. I firmly believe that everyone in a committed relationship gets invited with their significant other. Period. No silly "one year" or "no ring, no bring" rule. If they say they're in a relationship, they come together. They both get named on the invite. True "plus ones" are for actually single guests (meaning, if you say "hey are you in a relationship" their answer is no). This would be addressing the invitation to Mr. John Doe and guest. This one is totally up to you. If you can fit it in, it's a nice touch especially for guests who are traveling and/or don't know many people. But it's not necessary. I do think single members of your bridal party should always get plus ones though.

I feel ya, our guest list just broke the 300 mark. But it means more to us that our guests feel welcomed and comfortable.

I agree with Ashley.

We gave plus ones to every single person, (which was only a handful) but we limited the guest list to first cousins only so no children are invited. We couldnt afford the extra 20 people.

You may want to also check with regulations concerning baby sitters. I wouldnt have one person babysitting 15 children or something. You may have to then hire another depending on how many kids would be coming.

In my opinion.. If its gonna be an evening reception i agree with your Fh maybe kids shouldnt be there. As for plus ones people thats in a relationship i feel should get one. Not everyone(single)needs a plus one and it can help with the guest list.

Im sure evening reception will have drinking and dancing thats why i said that about kids. Plus ones can be tricky because that can over crowd your guest list. People that i feel should get them is your bridal party. Also as I said before people thats is married, engaged or in a long term relationship.

I agree 100% with everything Lori said.

I would rather have children I know and love than random adults I don't know.

I have never personally seen kids terrorize a wedding. Not saying it doesn't happen, just that it doesn't have to happen.

The way we handled it: everyone coming from out of town gets to bring their kids, but local people (ie, who would just need to get a sitter for a few hours) who aren't related didn't get to bring their kids. Every independent adult gets a plus one--most were in relationships where we put both names down, but there were a handful of 'and guest' invitations. Some adults were still living at home (college students, etc), and they were just put on their parents' invitation, no plus one. So Mr and Mrs. So-and-so and family--and even if the 'kids' were dating, etc., they weren't given a plus one. They were coming as a family.

I don't know that it's a perfect system, but it worked for us and simplified the process of making our guest list by having a 'rule'. All in all, there should be less than 10 people we don't know, and I'm guessing that most of those people won't actually bring a random guest.

I agree 100% with your FH. I think with all the other wedding expenses, paying for a babysitter is a waste of money - and it's a responsibility their parents should have not you. I'd much rather have a +1 than kids - and that's just what we did (my FH agrees). We invited everyone with a +1 (except a few trifling cousins) and are having an adults only reception. Since you're having venue capacity issues, no kids would be the quickest way to reduce your numbers.

NO KIDS for me lol ... and no sitter, either!

I guess my biggest issue is we have kids in the wedding. Some of his nieces and nephews are in the wedding but some of their siblings aren't. Are we supposed to tell his siblings "you can bring one of your kids, but not the rest" I don't think everyone should be allowed to being their kids, but I also don't think that we should be posting for people we barely know just so someone can have a date. There is no one that is invited that knows nobody at the wedding. They have 250 chances to meet a new friend lol. I don't think we should pay for someone because a distant cousin has been dating then for 2 weeks

Could you just invite nieces and nephews then? That's what we're doing--granted, that's only like 4 kids (for now). But they're not all in the wedding. FH's siblings have all said that they're arranging for the kids to be driven to the hotel shortly after dinner so no one has to be on babysitting duty. This was totally their idea, but I'm definitely not complaining about it!

I think your other guests will definitely understand only inviting nieces and nephews.

They both have their merit, but I think I'm on Mallory's side of I would rather have kids I love than randos that I don't know

I have a question if someone could help. BOTH of my kids were asked to be In my cousins wedding, which I immediately said yes because it was an honor. My daughter is a junior bridesmaid, and even though by standards she does not have to contribute for the shower, I am. My son is junior groomsmen so I will be renting a tux etc. Now it has also been planned that the day of the wedding I will be running around helping wherever needed, (again don't mind at all) .NOW the part I do mind is this! I am putting out a significant amount of money and time because my cousin and his fiancée wanted my kids to be a part of the day. I said yes to both of them without any hesitation regarding financial or anything else. I have recently been told I am not allowed to bring a date ( I have been seeing someone for awhile) and that no one who was single at the time of planning was allotted a date. HOWEVER the bride made it a point to tell me there is a B list. Also with a few of her bridesmaids, their kids (toddler age to 5) are allowed to come because they said they wouldn't be in the wedding if they couldn't bring their kids. So my point is this. I have been on board since day one without any issue and I feel it is a slap in the face to not allow me a plus one. My money and my gas however are ok. And your bridesmaids got their way. But I may not bring a date! I find it rude and tacky and quite frankly I am very hurt by it. Am I wrong?