Just Said Yes April 2021

Kids or no kids

Christy, on May 1, 2020 at 2:58 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 14
Thoughts on not wanting kids (besides family/wedding party) at your wedding??

Literally all of our friends have 2+ kids. It’s not that we don’t like our friend’s kids, but including them is making it kind of pricey. The age ranges from 6-17. So they will be counted for their own seat and food. Is it rude to only include family/wedding party kids? And how would you go about the subject with the other guests and invites?


Latest activity by Lauren, on May 2, 2020 at 3:00 AM
  • Amazing Planning
    Dedicated June 2016
    Amazing Planning ·
    • Flag
    It isnt unusual to do this anymore, just put adult only on your detail card/ invite, and on the invite, but be prepared for less guests/guests leaving early, since babysitting is expensive, or some teens left alone for to long isnt a great idea. One idea that I thought was great was we hired a babysitter and had a kids tent set outside( backyard wedding on lots of land) , they had all the entertainment their lil hearts could desire, even dance dance rev, with babysitters( worked at a school, so teachers acted as babysitters, used to 20+ kids) had McDonald's deliver(thankyou door dash) and sleeping bags for them to sleep "campstyle" till their parents were ready to leave. It worked out great since every parent paid like $10 for the whole night and their kids was a stones throw away.
    • Reply
  • Margarie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Margarie ·
    • Flag
    Our children are ages 19 and up. We decided early on we didn’t want any children and included on the rsvp due to alcohol consumption no children please. We love children but the parents in us just wanted to be able to let our hair down and enjoy our day we didn’t want to be in parent mode. Also as you mentioned it can get pricey adding children.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    It depends on what you're considering family and bridal party. Does family include your 5 year old second cousin and does wedding party include the kids in the wedding party or the children of your bridesmaids? Immediate family and kids in the wedding party is fine. Extending it further than that, not so much.

    • Reply
  • Didiani
    Beginner May 2021
    Didiani ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t feel offended if I was told on the invite my kids aren’t aloud to come. I understand 1, pricing, 2. Some brides want an all adult party and 3. Sometimes couples are actually excited it’s an all adult reception! Im only including my kids and my families kids which make it a total of 8 children Other than that I’ve put on my invites an adult only party or more so something like that.. at the end of the day, it’s your day and don’t feel Congrats by the way! You can have something like this:
    We would love to give all our guests the opportunity to let their hair down and have a good time without having to worry about little eyes and ears so we politely request no children.

    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    We chose no kids for several reasons. 1. our venue was a very old farmhouse and we didn't want the terrors that would have attended to destroy anything. 2. refer to the terrors in number one and the thought of a possible food fight or just a temper tantrum with white rented linens...oh boy. 3. the terrors would have most definitely been screaming/running around during the ceremony, not sat still for pictures etc. 4. we wanted a very intimate, simple day with those most important to us and wanted our guests including the kids parents to enjoy it as well without having to chase around mentioned terrors.

    We also did not have a bridal party with ring bearers or flower girls so no kids were involved in the wedding.

    We included an insert with the invitations that were going to households with children that said "Parents, we want you to be able to fully enjoy the wedding so we are requesting that all kiddos be left at home. thanks so much and we hope that you can celebrate with us on our special day!"

    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 2022
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This 👆🏻

    I love kids, especially babies, but there are places and times I don’t want to be with them there. Like in a wedding ceremony, cinema, funeral, etc.
    I do have to include one kid in my July wedding, who is my own 8 years old, and honestly I am very nervous and I bet I won’t 100% focus on my dh at the ceremony, because he is a kid and I am his mom. He would make noises and do stuff, and he might even throw tantrum due to whatever might be 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I think no kids weddings are perfectly fine, but it can be tricky when you start allowing some kids and not others. I think as long as there are some really concrete boundaries about who can come (ex: kids of immediately family members only) then that is clear and easy for guests to follow, and people will generally be quite understanding. If you just pick and choose which kids you like or use some sort of arbitrary or preferential process (oh we really like our this friends kids because we see them a lot but don't want to include these others because we don't know them as well), it is bound to upset some people.

    • Reply
  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag
    Ours Is Adults Only Besides Those In The Wedding Party.
    • Reply
  • Ariel
    Savvy June 2021
    Ariel ·
    • Flag
    That’s a little tricky, but if you make it clear it’s only immediate family’s kids you should be fine. Most of my fiancé’s friends have kids and both our cousins have multiple kids, but we decided no kids at all at our wedding. We put adults only on our website and will be putting it on the invitation to be it very clear! Our wedding is in the evening and we want everyone to be present and not worry about their kid running around.
    • Reply
  • Autumn
    Devoted July 2020
    Autumn ·
    • Flag

    We didn't want kids at our wedding so we put "our celebration is limited to adult guests only" on the RSVP

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Totally fine to only have kids in the wedding party attend. Make the invites to the couple only and put something on the RSVP like:
    __ of 2 guests will attend
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Definitely do it! I am only having wedding party kids, I'm not even having my cousins' children. All of my cousins and friends with kids are fine with it! Do what YOU want!

    • Reply
  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
    • Flag
    Yes!! I put “adults-only celebration” on the bottom of the RSVP card. We are still having 4 flower girls and 2 ring bearers, but that’s it. We were supposed to get married April 26, but postponed til September. It’s funny because we had several people RSVP on the first round with their infant children! So when I re-ordered invitations, I made sure to put the adults only line on there so there is no confusion.

    I don’t want little kids running around screaming during the ceremony, the reception isn’t as big of a deal. Also if you’re bringing a child under the age of five, you’re likely not able to enjoy yourself at the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    Hi Christy!
    This is actually something that my fiancé and I heavily discussed. Since we are a younger couple we have younger cousins and our friends have younger kids we decided that kids at the wedding wouldn’t work. We decided that we would strongly advise them not to bring their kids due to the open bar, and explicit music.
    We also only addressed the invites to our friends and families, so each family member invited received a card, for example: dear Mr & Mrs Smith.......and gave no room to hint to the rest of the family, or write how many would be attending. Also, when my parents got married they hired 2 babysitters to watch the kids for them.Good luck and I hope this helps!
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