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Kids or No Kids?

Ashley, on June 18, 2021 at 6:13 PM Posted in Planning 1 10

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It kind of feels like I’m stuck between a rock or a hard place. My fiancé has quite a few kids on his side of the family. We originally thought it would be a good idea to hire a wedding sitter that would be at the venue so they can still have fun, we get to enjoy ourselves, and no ones offended. However, I noticed that some of these kids are under 4 and during a recent family gathering would tend to start screaming and crying if they didn’t see their parent in sight, which I know is going to be problem later. I also don’t want to hear potential screaming and crying during our vows. My original idea was to have no kids, but I was worried people would be offended. However, that may be the only solution where our wedding can go as smooth as possible, even though I may ruffle some feathers with that the.
Am I wrong? Is there any solution to this situation?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Eyonna, on June 19, 2021 at 11:54 PM

Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on June 18, 2021 at 6:43 PM
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People will understand. A lot of couples have adult only weddings.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 18, 2021 at 6:52 PM
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I’ve never been offended by my children not being invited to a wedding. As long as you’re understanding that some parents may have to decline the invitation or just one member of a couple might attend, it’s no issue to not invite kids.
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Super October 2022
AJ · on June 18, 2021 at 7:49 PM
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Team no kids, maybe because I don’t have kids of my own but I don’t want screaming/crying during my ceremony and don’t want kids running around like crazies during my reception. I want adults to be able to relax and enjoy themselves. Only kids at our wedding will be ring bearer and flower girls, they will be old enough to be well behaved during the ceremony and reception. Most adults will be able to find a sitter for a few hours for their kids, it’s not unusual for kids to not be invited. I remember growing up my parents getting invited to weddings and my brother and I didn’t.
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Devoted September 2022
Carissa · on June 18, 2021 at 8:16 PM
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I've worked hundreds of weddings at an event center and I am 100% team no kids. I CANNOT tell you how many times entire trays of food have been dropped because kids are running around and the servers can't see them. Or some kid is throwing a tantrum and throws stuff from the tables or tugs on a table cloth and ruins the display.

Thankfully we have very few young children in our family & friends. I asked my BM if she'd mind if her kids weren't invited and she said no, she'd actually welcome a night of just her and her husband. I plan to hire a sitter for like family members kids that had to travel, but the sitter will not be at the venue.
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Super September 2022
Ashlee · on June 18, 2021 at 8:30 PM
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We're allowing kids, but we also know that there will be less than 15 total kids and of those kids, over half will be teenagers by the time our wedding rolls around. the other group are all cousins or my MOH's daughter who will be 10. I don't think we'll have any infants, maybe one or two toddlers. We did discuss not allowing children though, but ultimately would rather have our family fully there.
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Beginner November 2021
BridalB · on June 18, 2021 at 9:58 PM
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I’m a wedding coordinator, and it’s not an uncommon request. Do what will make you stress free! Unpopular to say, but a crying baby does ruin a ceremony if it doesn’t stop immediately. Some parents don’t take the hint to remove themselves and a crying kid.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on June 18, 2021 at 10:12 PM
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This is something only you and fiancé can decide. How important is it that the parents of the kids in question attend? Do they have trusted childcare they can depend on to be able to attend or would they decline if kids aren’t invited?
We’re inviting kids because in our families, weddings are events for the entire family and kids are raised to behave in public. However we would not be offended if someone left theirs with a sitter.
Kids are considered an all or none thing with no loopholes for infants, flower children, children of the couple. Otherwise you do offend guests when exceptions for certain random people are made that don’t apply to everyone.
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Expert July 2021
Lauren · on June 19, 2021 at 11:47 AM
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Team no kids always lol
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Beginner June 2022
Dee · on June 19, 2021 at 5:30 PM
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Bride and mother of a 4 year old… Ill be allowing kids at my wedding because I have one and because there will be less than 10 kids under age 12 and I know their parents will mind them, but as a parent, if I were a guest I’d leave my kid home so I could have fun. If your friends drink a lot, maybe just do adults only to be on the safe side.
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Devoted May 2021
Eyonna · on June 19, 2021 at 11:54 PM
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We had no kids; it even a flower girl or ring bearer. We don’t have kids ourselves yet, but my husband has a lot of nieces and nephews of all ages. I personally didn’t want to have kids at the wedding, but we did make the decision collectively no kids. Our venue also charges for kids; we financially did not want to take that on. Everyone that has kids respected that and had a really good time without their kids. Like someone else said, it’s a decision you both need to make to find out if it’s important to the both of you that kids be there.
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