Jamie
Savvy November 2021

Kids or no kids!!!

Jamie, on January 16, 2020 at 7:09 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 53
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I don’t want kids at the wedding one it’s expensive food and drink we are being charged per head and two will they actually remember..I was in weddings when I was younger and I don’t remember any of it three I want to party and get crazy with my friends and I just don’t want kids dancing and running around but my fiancé says we will piss people off and they might not attend if we don’t invite them.. what are y’all thoughts?

53 Comments

  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    It's your wedding. If it's in your budget, you can invite the kids if you'd like. Some venues even have kids meal prices so it won't be the same amount as the adults. If it's not in your budget, I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you can pay for. If people get pissed off and don't show, that's also more money you're saving. You're not having a wedding to make others happy. Kids shouldn't be a deal breaker in whether or not you invite kids.

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Do it. Weddings don't have to be kid friendly. Just state so nicely on the invite.
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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    C ·
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    We are inviting kids but we are doing a “destination wedding” - 4 hours away from where our families and us are. Our venue does offer kids meals; however, if a kid is old enough and eats the buffet meal, they are also charged in the per person head count for alcohol (not sure why though since they aren’t 21). So every venue will treat this differently. Basically, do what’s in budget and what you prefer. It’s your wedding! 😊
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  • Renee
    Devoted June 2020
    Renee Online ·
    • Flag
    I’m realizing that all of our cousins on both sides have kids. We counted a total of 15 kids. That’s two more tables, two more center pieces (kid friendly), 15 more plates and chargers, 15 more pieces of flatware, 15 more chairs and increases the service charge. I’m leaning towards no kids myself. But my two nieces will be there so I’m torn. It will definitely increase the budget but I’m not so worried about people not coming due to a kid-less reception. We are looking to set up a babysitter with a few of my bridesmaids cousins. If they will agree. Get the kids pizza, lots of movies and games to keep them occupied.
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  • Jamie
    Savvy November 2021
    Jamie ·
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    So if I do say no kids how do you do it ???
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  • Renee
    Devoted June 2020
    Renee Online ·
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    We respectfully request an adult only reception following the wedding ceremony.
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  • Renee
    Devoted June 2020
    Renee Online ·
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    Or... We would love to have Sam and Jenny celebrate with us, however we are requesting an adult only ceremony. We hope you can understand.
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  • Renee
    Devoted June 2020
    Renee Online ·
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    Put it on the website in your info section if you have a website. Or add it as a notecard in the invitation.
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  • Chrysta
    Super November 2020
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    We are in the same boat as you. We have decided we are not going to invite any children to our DW. We are already having to cut our guest list way down, and do not want to give away precious spots for children who likely wouldn’t even have fun anyway. Plus, kids have bedtimes & get cranky when they are sleepy. This means crying children and parents who will have to leave early rather than party it up with us. And, as PP stated, it requires so many additional costs - meals, plateware, decor, etc. Plus, when you invite children to a wedding, you always run the risk of them being loud, crying, having tantrums, etc. during your ceremony! I have actually been to multiple weddings where this happened and the ceremony had to be paused for the parent to remove their child 🤦🏼‍♀️ And, let’s face it, having children at a wedding reception completely alters the vibe. Adults only receptions have more of a party feel to them, which is what we are wanting for our event. In the end, inviting kids just didn’t make sense for us. It is important to keep in mind though, when you choose to have an adult only wedding, you always run the risk of guests with children choosing not to attend. Just be prepared for it, and remind yourself that, just like they have no right to be angry at you for not inviting children, you also cannot be angry at them for choosing not to attend. As far as guests being upset, we actually have not experienced that, with the exception of one person. So far, all our guests are super excited to have fun adult time away from their kids (hey, parents need to have fun too, right?! LOL) The only person we have gotten pushback from is one of my FH’s sisters. She has four children and thought we should make an exception for them. We are not. We explained to her that this was a decision we thought long and hard about, and it is what is best for us & our wedding. And if we made an exception for her children, we would have to for other peoples’ children as well. I think if you and your spouse want to have a child free wedding, then you should absolutely do it! This is YOUR wedding & it should be 100% what you want.
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  • Shanna
    Dedicated November 2020
    Shanna ·
    • Flag
    My brother and sister in law didn’t have kids at their wedding. Honestly it’s not about what anyone wants, but y’all. If you don’t want kids there then let it be known. If you absolutely don’t wanna piss people off, then consider having a kids table where they will be occupied. I understand not wanting kids because sometimes they are all over the place. But there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids at your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Leah
    Savvy August 2020
    Leah ·
    • Flag

    Let me say that I LOVE kids, adore them...want to have them soon but I am going for an adult only ceremony and reception. My friends all want to drink, eat, dance and be marry having kids there add to the stress level my friends. I agree I don't remember going to many weddings as a child. I did not invite children for my friends sake. They actually all begged me not to invite their kids... Ask a few of your friends to test the water and see what their response is and then go from there. Good luck! It will be great either way and you will be a married lady by the time the party starts!

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I agree :x if it's not in your budget that is a good way to cut down the guest list
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  • Erin
    Rockstar April 2022
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    We're inviting kids because we have a daughter who will be 4 when we get married. That being said, the 2 cousins who have kids have a high likelihood of not being able to go because it's far for them to travel and it's the end of the school year (one is a teacher). It's up to you guys whether you want to invite children though, don't let anyone make you feel bad for having the wedding you want.

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  • Just Said Yes September 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    We aren’t having kids because of the same exact reasons. It’s your wedding, the only people who need to be happy are you and your FH. I told him we would make sure people knew in advance it was an adult only event. And for our of town guests I have put together a list of possible babysitters.
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  • Dezaree
    Dedicated November 2020
    Dezaree ·
    • Flag
    We are in the same situation as you. With both sides we have more than 50 kids. We are going to put how many seats we have reserved for friends and family so they understand there are no extra seats. We will have immediate families kids in the wedding and therefore they will be welcome to our reception.. but other than that, we are not inviting kids. We are also torn with how to word our invite... best we found was this..Kids or no kids!!! 1

    Kids or no kids!!! 2

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  • M
    Devoted October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Totally fine to have a kids free wedding--but please don't put anything about that fact on the invite. Invites should only talk about who is invited.


    - Address your invites to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," not "The Smith Family."

    - Avoid arbitrary cut-off ages like "no kids under 10," because that will likely split up families and that'll for sure piss people off.

    - Use word of mouth to spread the message that you're having an adult event.

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  • Dezaree
    Dedicated November 2020
    Dezaree ·
    • Flag
    Kids or no kids!!! 3
    First one didn't look clear.
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  • Lynne
    Super July 2021
    Lynne ·
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    We are having kids at our wedding.
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Expert August 2020
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    We are having no kids. My fh's about 20 first cousins literally have up to 6 kids and his own brother has 6. His family is the biggest family I personally know. It's never ending and they are all close. I had to cut it off at the kids. We cannot afford to feed aaaaall of them kids.
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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag

    Well my DH and I have two girls, a daughter together and one from his first marriage. we chose to have both our girls be a part of the wedding. Also all family and friends had to travel. so we invited children as well. most of them didn't bring kids but we did have some. they all played together and were very well behaved. they LOVED the magic mirror photo booth and the glow sticks we provided lol its totally your decision. whatever you feel comfortable with. the children prices are usually much less per head than adults. ours was $25 per child.

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