Kids or no kids?

I would just try to ask if anyone local knows of any responsible sitters, highschool students or college students, or grandparents.

Either you allow to have kid's at both or not at either...


I know I wouldn't want to drag my kid's to a wedding then have to arrange to have them go elsewhere during the reception especially if there is distances between venues n where I live or if the ceremony and reception is located at the same venue.

As tough as it is, I think you have to invite the siblings. As a parent, I can’t imagine trying to explain why only one kid was invited to the wedding. It would cause hurt feelings and makes the bride and groom look mean to the kids. I think it’s ok to say no to the other kids though. If they have questions they should know it’s because the sibling was in the wedding.

If you really don’t want kids to attend, you shouldn’t be having 8 kids in the wedding. At a minimum, those kids (and their siblings) need to be invited to the ceremony and reception. Basically it comes down to deciding what’s more important- having your friends/family there or having no children there.

I think it might be very difficult and hurtful to some to not invite the siblings of those children in the wedding party.


Otherwise, I think it’s fine to say no kids. Just be prepared for some to RSVP no if their kids aren’t also invited.

I don’t think there is a tactful way to have children in your ceremony and not invite their siblings. I totally understand not wanting to have children at your wedding - I feel the same way. We came to the conclusion that it had to either be ALL children invited, or NO children invited. So we are having an adult only wedding- absolutely no children.

View Quoted Comment I’m okay with the siblings coming. I just don’t think I’m okay with sooooo many kids coming.

View Quoted Comment Totally understand. Kids just add an unexpected element to weddings- crying, tantrum throwing, running around, etc. Unfortunately I’ve been to more than one wedding where this has happened. At one, a child screamed and threw a tantrum so badly they actually had to stop the ceremony and allow the parent to remove the child from the premises before continuing. At another, a child refused to sit down and squirmed away from his parent and took off running- the parent (the bride’s uncle) ended up missing the ceremony because he had to run after the child. We just didn’t want to take the risk. And we figured if we invited some children and not others, parents of those not invited would likely be upset or offended that their children werent “good enough” to get invited. It just wasn’t worth all the potential issues that would arise from it. Especially since it would likely be brought up AT the reception when the parents of those children not invited saw other children there & would ask why theirs weren’t invited & they had to pay for a sitter, when other people didn’t have to. We didn’t want drama at our wedding or hurt feelings after.

A lot of couples have Adults Only weddings, but have the children in the Bridal Party and their siblings in attendance. However, that's usually 1 or 2 children and their siblings, not 8. While it's perfectly fine to limit it to only those 8 and their siblings, you may have other guests upset that there are so many kids there while theirs weren't invited. I'd be prepared to have someone ready to explain to them that those are only kids in the BP.

As others have suggested, maybe provide babysitting for them, on grounds or at a family member's house, for those coming from out of town.

View Quoted Comment

... and I see, because I posted without reading, that I echoed exactly what Chrysta said. Great minds think alike, I guess!

But seriously, I can see people being upset that so many kids are there while there's weren't allowed. Any way you can cut down on the amount of kids in the BP? Probably not, but it is something to think about.

I think it's super odd to invite some siblings & not others, so I think anyone in the wedding should have parents & siblings invited. But I have seen people just invite immediate family kids and no other kids. You'll just have to accept that people (especially out of state/town) probably won't be able to go if their kids aren't invited.

This is our dilemma as well. We have 2 kids of our own who are in the wedding and my siblings kids are in the wedding as well. We are limiting our wedding to only our 2 and the kids of our siblings. No other children are invited. People will have to deal with it. It’s our wedding and we’re paying. So it’s our rules.