Kids Optional?

These are the options that I see.

1. Invite your guests as a family and they can make the decision to bring their children or not.

2. Invite the parents by name and on the details card and/or website, you can state to please contact the couple should they not be able to find child care and accommodations can be made.

I think going with option two would be more of a headache for you because there will probably be a lot more last minute adjustments that you will not have accounted for and that you can not accommodate. Parents childcare falls through after numbers and now there is no room or the parents have to cancel all together

Do most of your guests have kids or is that more of the exception? You can always just reach out to those guests letting them know that their kids are welcome if it makes things easier on them. But the easiest way of all, though you may end up with more kids this way, would just be to invite the whole family and let the parents decide.

I am having a no kids wedding as I prefer that and have made it clear to my family to avoid crying etc. that kids come with. Between myself and my fiancé we have about 14 nephews and nieces alone. We will be doing save the dates to allow people plenty of time (over 8 months) to make childcare arrangements for our one night !

Try: "Looking forward to celebrating our wedding with your children at the ceremony and cocktail hour, but request the reception be reserved for adults only."

Sometimes you have to put your foot down when it comes to late hours, so that everyone can be able to at least arrive for the earlier parts of the wedding day. However, it should be CLEAR when you feel it is appropriate that parents of children and/or their children may not have so much fun during a certain time. It really depends if you're trying to leave room in your budget to accommodate a children's menu too! How many children would you even anticipate?

Most people understand if it's also due to costs too. In that case you can say, "We would love to have your children at our wedding, but due to cost, we are only allowing children of close family members to attend." That way - it makes it clear who you'll be able to anticipate. Everyone is grown and can make the personal decision of whether or not they would be able to attend an event. While it's true that you should consider that some people can't afford a babysitter last-minute, consider that you would be letting them know wayyyyyy in-advance so they can execute that decision.

If they couldn't figure it out months prior to your wedding, then that can't fall on you during or after the wedding. I think you will be fine! Keep your chin up and make the request that you're comfortable with.

All the best! x