Tynesha
Dedicated May 2019

Kids from previous marriage

Tynesha, on May 13, 2019 at 10:54 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19
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I was asked if we got permission from my ex and my FH’s ex for our children to participate in our wedding. Our exes have never had a problem with our relationship. We all speak and discuss the kids all the time. My question is if we really didn’t get along with each other’s exes should we have gotten permission for our/their children to be in our wedding?


19 Comments

Latest activity by Furture Mrs. G, on May 24, 2019 at 3:45 PM
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    I'm not a parent. But I'd think that your kids should be allowed to be in your wedding without needing permission from the other parent.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think the only time this is really relevant is when you’re getting married outside of your own parenting time. My ex got married outside of the country and because he was going to be gone longer than he’s allowed to have our daughter per our agreement, I traveled with her so she could participate. Our wedding is scheduled for a weekend that would be mine regardless so I didn’t ask his permission to include her.
    • Reply
  • Tonia
    Expert October 2019
    Tonia ·
    • Flag

    I could only see getting permission if there was a custody issue. But if both you and your FH have joint/partial custody, you shouldn't have to ask permission of the ex. My FH definitely didn't feel the need to ask his ex.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    The relationship is strained, so he asked if his daughter could come.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    I would only see an issue if the wedding was on a weekend where the kids would normally be with the other parent. If so, I would ask them to switch to be understanding of the situation. If you are on good terms, I can’t imagine it being an issue.
    • Reply
  • Jacque
    Dedicated July 2019
    Jacque ·
    • Flag
    My FH didnt really ask but since its summer & we are having it in Vegas.. he did let them know we would be taking his son to Vegas for the weekend.
    • Reply
  • Jacque
    Dedicated July 2019
    Jacque ·
    • Flag
    As for my children.. 2 are adults & my ex hasn't been in the picture so no one to ask really...
    • Reply
  • Ginsteeca
    Expert June 2019
    Ginsteeca ·
    • Flag

    Both of us get along with my stepson's mom, and it didn't occur to ask what she thought of him being part of the wedding, but it occurs during fh's time. I would think even if we didn't get along with her we wouldn't ask because at that point it's not up to the mom.

    I have 2 kids as well, but my first husband died so no issue there with permission. I didn't tell his parents personally either, though. There are issues there as to why I didn't feel it was necessary.

    For reference my stepson is 8, and bio kids are almost 15 and almost 18.

    • Reply
  • Justine
    Dedicated August 2019
    Justine ·
    • Flag
    I would only see the need to ask permission if the relationship is strained.
    • Reply
  • F
    Devoted October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    • Flag
    We didnt ask and didnt check to see if it was our weekend. But we have no drama with the other parent.
    • Reply
  • Selena
    Super September 2019
    Selena ·
    • Flag
    My relationship with my ex is strained. There is no way in h*** I need his permission for my children to attend and participate in my wedding. Nor would I expect him to ask if he ever got remarried. The only thing I consulted him on, was a slight change in parent time, and given him travel itinerary as required in our divorce decree.
    • Reply
  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
    • Flag

    Absolutely not, I am a mom from a previous relationship. We do have a relatively good relationship but we're not friends outside of the relationship we have for our daughter. I would never nor do I ever ask him for permission for anything, let alone to have my daughter, that I pushed out of me in my wedding lol. Granted I also have full custody sooo I guess maybe it would be different if it was his wedding and my weekend with her... or he had to travel with her for it then I of course need to know these things lol.

    • Reply
  • darcy
    Devoted June 2019
    darcy ·
    • Flag

    I'll echo what most have said, I didn't ask my ex as I have the kids most of the time. He takes them when he can which is maybe 1-2 weekends a month. If we had a more stable visitation schedule and the wedding was occurring during his parenting time I would have given him a heads up.

    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    I would only ask if the relationship was strained or if the wedding was taking place overseas.
    • Reply
  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
    • Flag

    I would ask if on the other parent's parenting time, or out of state. I would also discuss who is going to take the kids home? Are they going home with you guys? If the wedding goes late, I would not expect the mom to come pick them up.

    • Reply
  • Kiara
    VIP August 2021
    Kiara ·
    • Flag
    Far as me im not a mother but i think it depends on the kids age.. My FH kids are old enough to make decisions on their own.. What i did was asked them to be aprt of tbe wedding party and they both agreed excited about shopping.. But idid speak to their mother just to give her the info but i didnt have to..
    • Reply
  • Angela
    Dedicated September 2020
    Angela ·
    • Flag

    I had an awful relationship with my ex. I have had full custody of the children since the divorce and would not have asked permission.

    • Reply
  • WifeyPoo
    Devoted July 2019
    WifeyPoo ·
    • Flag

    Legally you only need to get permission if there is a custody agreement that states that those children are with your ex on that specific day. Other than that, it's in good form to ask if the kids don't normally see that other parent a lot. For instance, when my daughter was 5, my ex-husband was remarrying and wanted our daughter in the wedding. He hadn't bothered to see her in months and she did not want to stand up in the wedding because she didn't know the woman or her kids. I brought her, dropped her off, and she cried until they called me to come back and get her. I think each case is different.

    • Reply
  • Furture Mrs. G
    Expert September 2019
    Furture Mrs. G ·
    • Flag

    Ummmm no! Absolutely not. We don't have this issue with my ex. He has his life/wife/other kids as do I. But, even if that were not the case- I still wouldn't feel I need the permission for children I have birthed to be in my wedding.

    The only way I see an issue is if my ex was having a wedding and he wanted my son to be in it he would have to come to me so we can work it out ONLY because we live 8 hours from him so we would have to figure out travel plans. But, as far as "is it okay for our son to be in my wedding" no I would never make him do that.

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