Kids at your wedding??

Have you already invited these children as guests/asked them to be a part of your wedding party? If so, it is not okay to uninvite them, just like any other guests.
If you simply had theoretical asks in mind, it’s okay not to invite kids. Just be prepared for some guests to say no due to childcare issues.

ETA: I did also want to say it’s perfectly acceptable to invite some kids and not all—I.e. it’s fine to invite nieces and nephews but not first cousins’ kids. But if you’ve already extended invites, it’s relationship damaging and rude and cruel to rescind them.

View Quoted Comment We haven't sent out invitations yet, but they will have over 4 months to find sitters

View Quoted Comment It’s not always about timing for people, but who they feel comfortable leaving their kids with, if an overnight is involved. I think a kids free wedding is perfectly acceptable, but it’s also not fair to be upset with people if they decline attendance due to their kids.
So no invites have been sent, but have you asked your FG/RB/their parents to participate in your day?

If the kids have already been asked to participate, then you're stuck. You can't take that back.

If you haven't made any mention of this yet, then it's OK to change your mind.

Just as many people have kids at their wedding as do not. Its completely up to the people planning the wedding. But, if the wedding is only 4 months away I wonder what you have said previously about children attending. If everyone assumes the kids are invited (either because you implied they would be or because when they mentioned it you never said they were not) you may run into some people who are upset.

So many couples say they want a kid free wedding so their guests can come and have fun without their kids. Any parent that was invited with their kid who wanted a kid free night, would arrange that on their own. I think this is disingenuous reasoning, you just want a kid free wedding. That's fine. Its acceptable, own it. Your party that you are paying for. Your life event. Your decision,.

Just like everyone else...your guests also have the right to make their decision.

The idea is very unpopular on WW but in my experience as a guest, kids are either all or none. Meaning if you say no children, then people get angry though never say a word to the couple if there are babies and flower girls there. Plus babies are actually more unpredictable than teenagers. The blanket statement that all kids everywhere are bored at weddings is not true for all because many kids are well behaved and do enjoy themselves at social gatherings.


However once someone has been asked to participate in the wedding party, you cannot revoke that position without ending the relationship so be prepared for that aftermath if you go forward. The forum is full of similar posts and thus suggested to ask attendants no earlier than 6 months before the wedding to prevent that.

I’m only allowing young infants/nursing infants plus nieces and nephews. Since I’m having a destination wedding, I am providing a babysitter at the hotel they can use if they bring their kid to the destination.

View Quoted Comment I never thought of doing that. Our wedding venue said they would be willing to make a play area for the kids and even give them a craft table

Having no children at your wedding is absolutely OK, and really quite common! So is choosing not to have flower girls and ring bearers. So there is no need to stress about having a child free wedding However, I think the key factor in your particular situation is whether or not you have already asked children to be part of your wedding party. If you have already requested their participation, it may be impossible to revoke that without causing hard feelings and/or disappointment. In that case, I would allow only the children who are participating in the wedding to attend. It is very common to have an adult only wedding, with the exception of children in the wedding party. If you would prefer them to only attend the ceremony, and not the reception portion of the evening, I would speak with their parents to see if there would be someone who could pick up the children and babysit them (grandparents? regular babysitter?) after the ceremony. Or, if the children in the wedding party are well behaved and do well in social situations, you could just allow them to stay at the reception, if you feel comfortable with that option.

View Quoted Comment That’s perfect! You could even hire a babysitter to watch them at the venue.

My husband and I didn't do kids at our wedding. We designated our bothers to be the flower guy and ring guy in which they didn't mind it at all.

We are having an adult only wedding except for my sister in laws son and our kids. We are only having 50 people and having kids there would have taken much of the 50!

We had an adult only reception as for the wedding only kids was the ring bearer

We have a HUGE family as well as 4 kids ourselves. We are allowing nieces and nephews as well as the children of the people who are traveling from out of state. If you've already extended the invite and are now deciding to rescind it, I think that will cause issues. If you have not, make sure you are very clear with people who may come and who may not come.

I have a lot of younger sisters, I can't imagine this day without them. Perhaps in your case it is possible to find some kind of compromise?

I have been to a wedding where they essentially hired childcare and put the kids in two connected hotel rooms. They had a couple of sitters (college kids who needed cash and loved kids) and they provided dinner with pizza, Disney movies, games etc. the kids had fun and the parents could check on them throughout the evening if they wanted. Doesn’t work for everyone but it worked well and still allowed them to be apart of the bridal party if you wanted that and kept them away from the reception.

We discussed it and decided to have kids but to have the newborns stay out of the wedding as they would be only be a few weeks old. Invitations haven't been sent out either we aren't sending them until end of May.

What my family does is a kids room right next door(hotel room/bnb/ roped off playground). It is styled like an arcade, playground, ect(let your inner child out) and hire babysitters, phone in pizza or McDonald's (bc they will just pick at anything else that cost $40), and the parents dropped them there to go play(because after an hour kids get bored i.e. pestering/not as fun). Plus you don't have to worry about them with expensive cake or dangers like lakes and parents don't have to scramble for a sitter or miss out