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December 2020

Kids at your reception

Bride, on January 8, 2020 at 1:23 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 16

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My head is spinning trying to figure this out. I need suggestions on what to do. Okay...so...

My fiancé and I have a son, who will be our ring bearer. He will obviously be at our wedding. I have a nephew who will also be at our wedding. We have a weird situation, though. My fiancé’s parents passed away when he was young and his uncle raised him. All of his cousins (who are like brothers and sisters to him) have kids. They’re like our nieces and nephews, so we would love for them to be there as well. However, when these 12 kids are all together, it’s a madhouse. They chase each other around and they’re super obnoxious. I don’t want that at our reception, especially since our reception space is not very big. It’s a historical courthouse that has fragile things in glass cases and historical artifacts in a couple of the side rooms, so I feel like that’s a liability issue. I want all the adults to be able to enjoy the night, drink, and dance. Our wedding is very small (like 60 people-12 of them being children and 5 of them being older adults that will probably leave after dinner). I’m afraid everyone having their kids there will make them take off super early, leaving us with an empty reception hall. My nephew has to be there, it’s not even an option to get a babysitter for him. If he is there and everyone else’s kids aren’t, their parents are obviously going to be upset with us. I don’t know what to do. Helpppp!

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Bride, on January 8, 2020 at 4:57 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 8, 2020 at 1:29 PM
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It’s completely fine to have immediate family’s children there only. Inviting all of them sounds like a train wreck.
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 1:33 PM
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Train wreck...yes. Lol. However, they kinda are immediate family. It’s a weird dynamic we all have, but they really are like our nieces and nephews. They call us Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Hadley. My son calls my fiancé’s uncle “Papa”. That’s why this is so hard. I wish there was a separate room I could corral them all into and hire a couple babysitters for the night 😂
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Expert September 2021
Dayna · on January 8, 2020 at 1:54 PM
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I actually think the best solution is what you mentioned above - to have a separate kids room. I know you said its a small venue, but have you asked them if there is any extra space you could use? Otherwise, you could at least have a corner of the room designated as a kids area with coloring books and games to keep them occupied.

Also, I think people will understand you limiting the number of kids invited. However, people may be just as likely to leave early to get home if their kids are with a sitter as they would be if their kids were with them.
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Master January 2015
null · on January 8, 2020 at 1:58 PM
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If your son and your nephew are the only children attending, is there a way you could include your nephew in the wedding ceremony? People don't tend to get offended about not being able to bring their children if they know it's adults only + wedding party children. Could your nephew be a second ring bearer, a flower boy, or an usher (depending on his age)?
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 2:07 PM
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There really isn’t anywhere to do that, unfortunately. The place has the old courtroom on the second level. There’s a wide hallway downstairs that fits tables for 50. There’s a big room off of that that has a super long table for food, a room that used to be the judge’s office (which is where our cake and stuff will be set up)...and theres a long room next to the main hall that connects it with two sets of french doors (that will be the open space we have for our dj/dance floor and our bar.

My mom said that I should just leave the decision to the parents, if they want their kids to be there or not & then have them figure out arrangements if they’d like to stay later into the reception. So I think that’s really all I can do & pray for the best :/
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VIP November 2021
· on January 8, 2020 at 2:15 PM
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I wouldn’t feel bad saying no. Our daughter will there (age 5) his two nieces (6&3) my nephews (9&13) and that is IT. No cousins kids no friends kids and it put me in a weird spot bc my best friend has two boys - she’s a bridesmaid - but I had to tell her that the boys who I’m very close with cannot come. It broke my heart but it isn’t fair to pick and choose who can and can’t bring their kids.
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 2:16 PM
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I couldn’t do that :/ Since the other kids are like our nieces and nephews, it would feel like I was playing favorites. I know if they did something with all their “true” nieces and nephews, then left my son out, I would be SO hurt. One of my fiancé’s cousins got married last June and the family was upset that they chose a kid free wedding. Everyone wanted their kids to be there. I guess I’ll just have to accept the fact that we might not have the long, hype reception I always envisioned. Which honestly isn’t such a bad thing, since we will also have our 5 year old son there & will need to get him home earlier, too.
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 2:25 PM
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I wish I didn’t feel bad! Lol. They’re so much like our nieces and nephews, that I guess it shouldn’t be a question whether they’re invited or not. I just cringe thinking of them ALL being there. Who knows, maybe they’ll arrange plans to have them picked up from our venue early. I guess I’ll just have to keep an open mind and not stress about it. At the end of the day, I’ll be married to my best friend and that’s really all that matters.
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VIP November 2021
· on January 8, 2020 at 3:14 PM
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Exactly- My best friends boys to call me Aunty and my daughter calls them auntie and uncle as well so it was a very difficult situation but if I let them bring their kids then I’d have to let everybody bring their kids so we limited it to my sisters two and his brothers two (and our daughter of course)
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VIP November 2021
· on January 8, 2020 at 3:14 PM
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But it is super hard
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Savvy July 2020
Jessica · on January 8, 2020 at 4:17 PM
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I have one child. Then i have 32 nieces and nephews. I want all of my family to share this day with me. So I made coloring books that the kids can color and came up with dances they can join in and have fun with aunt Jessica. I know the new tradition is to keep kids out but family is what a marriage is about. Coming together as one huge family. Hope this helps.
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 4:39 PM
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32?! Holy moly that’s a lot of kids 😂 but yesssssss. They are ALL so important to us. I really couldn’t imagine our day without them. I just hope they behave. I love the idea of special dances with them!!! That way they’re included in the dancing and all that. There’s a front lawn at the courthouse, so I was also thinking (if it doesn’t rain), to have a few lawn games that people can mingle and play outside. Thanks for your suggestion!
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Savvy July 2020
Jessica · on January 8, 2020 at 4:42 PM
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No problem. Yes that is a lot. Lol. We have a big family and me and my future husband have been together for 10 years and finally getting married. That’s how there is so many. I didn’t think about outside games. I will have to set sone up of the kids. Thanks.
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Expert November 2022
Megan · on January 8, 2020 at 4:44 PM
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This is what my fiance wants to do, hire a couple of sitters for the night for all our little cousins and neices and nephews. Is there anywhere, else you could take them? I wouldn't say a hotel but idk if you have a few sitters old enough and that could be trusted to play games or watch movies with the kids.
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 4:51 PM
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I might try and work something like that out. Even if I have to invite a couple people to our wedding just to wrangle the kids 😂 the peace of mind would be worth it lol. Unfortunately there’s nowhere we can send them. I hope their parents can just figure it out so I don’t have to haha
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December 2020
Bride · on January 8, 2020 at 4:57 PM
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That’s kind of our situation, too. We have been together a while and finally getting married after being engaged FIVE YEARS. Everyone else in our families are married with kids, so we’re just bringing up the caboose. We originally wanted a fully outdoor wedding with a tent and all that (we’re very outdoorsy people), but the chance of rain ruining everything was too much of a gamble. So I think having the option of hanging out outside for a little would be a good way to keep the kids occupied.
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