Kids at wedding/reception

You can absolutely only invite kids of immediate family. The general rule for inviting kids is to invite in circles, which is what inviting only immediate family kids would be. What people consider rude is if you were to invite family kids and then allow one or two friends to bring their kids, but not your other friends (as an example). But the way you're doing it is just fine! We opted for a no kids wedding aside from our two flower girls who are my sister's daughters.

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The only issue I have is that I haven an aunt with three kids whom I'm very close with. So I would consider them immediate family. And I don't really have a way to include them in the wedding so that they're considered part of the wedding. I don't want to make anyone mad but I don't want 50 kids running around at my wedding! lol

I agree with PP. As long as you stick immediate family it will be fine.

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Do you have other aunts/uncles attending the wedding who also have children? If so, it would definitely ruffle feathers if you didn't invite their children, but did invite you close aunt's children. At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you can do whatever you want. I would just be mindful of how people are going to react to certain decisions and be prepared for some backlash. But it's still your decision!

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I completely agree. All of my other aunts and uncles have grown children so not an issue. I have cousins with children who will not be invited. So it's just this one aunt. I think my only option to keep from upsetting people is to figure out a way to have these three kids as part of the wedding somehow so that I can do no kids except those in the wedding party.

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Are your grown cousins invited to the wedding? If so, I don't think it would be an issue to extend the invitation to your aunts three children if she's the only one with young kids.

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Yes, i'm inviting all grown cousins, just not their children.

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In that case, I think you'll be fine inviting just your aunts young children. Because then you'll be inviting all immediate children and all children of your aunts/uncles, just none of your cousins children.

You do what you want. We only invited immediately family (so our son and our nieces and nephews, that's it) and most people were totally understanding. We had an issue with my cousin about her daughters not being invited.

The best advice I can give is be completely transparent from the get-go. I thought just putting Mr and Mrs so and so would get the point across, but it did not. You may want to use some sort of verbiage on your invites clearly indicating it's a kid-free wedding (and you can individually contact immediate family to tell them kid are invited).

I put on my invitations that it was an "adults only" reception. HOWEVER, I have several family members coming from out of state who would obviously have a difficult time finding a babysitter when in town. I'm adding a note into their invitations letting them know that I have saved a seat for their kids. Most of my friends don't want to bring their kids, either, so they won't be upset, and if anyone says anything, I'll politely explain my reason for allowing some kids and move on. I'm not going to leave out adults to make room for children, plus we'll be drinking.

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The only kids we want there will somehow be involved with our wedding/reception. So that will be my excuse for them being there. And I plan to put some verbiage on the invites/RSVP's about it being an adult-only event. Thanks for the advice, i really appreciate it!

There is no requirement to invite any kids at all! Most people will completely understand if you draw the line at family only. Tell your mom that you don't "have" to invite anyone you don't want to!

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That's my exact point. It's not that i don't like kids, I'm gaining three kids when I get married! But if I invite everyone's kids, i'm going to have to cut some adults from my list just to have other people's children and i'm not okay with that.

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Very smart!

I posted about it here before, but long story short, my cousin assumed her two kids would be invited even after I was very clear on the STD and invite that just her and hubby were invited. My sister kept telling me that I was being a bridezilla for not inviting her kids (mind you, no other kids other than immediate family were invited) and my cousin was oblivious, even after my mom and I both gave major hints ("I'm sure you'll have a great time just you and your husband at the wedding! Time to let loose!"). I had to actually tell her after she texted me talking about her hotel accommodations and how she had to get her kids outfits. I apologized, said that I was sorry but we simply couldn't afford to invite 2nd cousins (technically 1st cousins once removed) and that we still hoped we'd see them but that we understood if it wouldn't work because of childcare. She simply said "We aren't coming then" and then cried to my sister about all of the money she spent. We haven't spoken since (no skin off my nose), nor have her mother and I spoken (she never even told me she wasn't coming, she just didn't show up or RSVP). Personally, I don't care because I was never close to my aunt or cousin anyway, but people get CRAZY about weddings and act as if your wedding is their own personal family reunion. Don't forget that it's YOUR day.

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Exactly!!!!!! That's my thought, this day is about me and my fiance! Thank you for replying!

We didn’t invite any kids to our wedding and it was a great decision! And none of our guests had an issue with it.

I threw ettiquite out the window with this one. We only invited kids we have met. My fiance's close friends whose kids we see and hang out with once or twice a month? Invited.
My fiance's D&D buddy who has 7 kids we've never met? We addressed it to the parents only.
I have a friend that I've known since 1995. We keep in touch and talk, never met her kids. Her husband and her were the only ones on the invite.Right or wrong, I dont think I should be expected to feed (or hear) 25 kids I've never met that I've never met.

I think the way you're doing it is fine.

I invited everyone's children and most of them didn't bring them. We invited 200 people including kids and only had 110 (including) - but it was an out of state wedding so everyone traveled.