Kids at Wedding

Are you expecting the children to be in a separate area than the parents? I don't think I've heard of mandatory babysitting services when the children's parents are there to watch them

If you invited "The Smith Family" you will either need to bite the bullet and call everyone to explain that unfortunately you cannot accommodate them or you get the baby sitting service. The thing with save the dates is people do make accommodations early on because it is expected that a formal invitation follows. And if they need to adjust these accommodations and/or re-evaluate if they can no longer attend, you need to let them know ASAP

I've never heard of that either. Is it because there is a danger there, like a pond or fire pits? Can you tell your venue that their parents are responsible for their supervision?

I find it *extremely* odd that the venue is saying you need a sitter if there's more than 3 kids. I would call and clarify this requirement because I don't know how they can say that the parents can't monitor their own children. (Plus, what ages constitute a kid? Our nephew, who was 9 at the wedding, would have been upset to have been stuck in with the other kids, who were all under 4.) I would also mention to families with children, because some people may be uncomfortable with an unknown babysitter.

I honestly would reach out to friends and family to see if any would volunteer as tribute! Think little cousin or niece who has babysitting experience. Then give them like $50-$100 for their time. Cause in the end all they have to do is keep an eye on them and make sure nobody tries to fly off the roof. Lol. Just a thought.

I agree, it seems really odd that the venue is requiring a sitter. To answer your question, if STD's have been sent out as you described then kids have been invited. In order to reverse that, you would need to call everyone and explain. Don't put "no kids" on the invitation, that's a faux pas. Might be easier to just hire a sitter.

Yep! I would say Adults Only or a Adult friendly Affair.

Actually putting "adults only" on the invitation is considered rude, because you never say on the invitation who isn't invited.

Think it's to late now if you had to change as you already informed people that kids would be invited. It would be rude if you reversed it

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea, thank you!

Hey,
It is odd that they are asking for a babysitter. Perhaps they have had bad experiences before.
On another note we did decide to not invite kids. We love our neices and nephews. Before we decided this we did ask our siblings if they would find any issue with attending the wedding without their kiddos. They were all on board. For other families we have just addressed the invitation to our friends. Our wedding website says politely that we are not having kids come to the wedding.
Hope that helps!

View Quoted Comment Agree with this.


It’s very strange that the venue requires babysitters. Seems that would be announced during the initial tour before you book them. Or at the very least in their rules online of what is allowed online and what isn’t. Once you invite anyone via save the dates, there is no tactful way to revoke the invitation without canceling the wedding. Because kids are included in the save the dates, you can not uninvite them and you need to negotiate with the venue on a compromise.

Mine is a historic wedding venue and they are also asking to hire a sitter for more than 4 kids, which we'll probably have. We have lots of friends and family with kids coming from out of town, so we can't really do a kid free wedding. Also, as a child I remember I loved going to weddings with my family! I loved seeing my cousins and dancing and eating cake. I'm 32 and still have fond memories of my aunts weddings lol.

We are having kids at our wedding. Our ceremony & reception is in one building and it's big enough for us to create a small kid friendly area. We picked up some board games.

I wouldn’t reverse it. The children might have been told they are attending already and they will have started looking forward to it

It is cheaper to not have kids there but if you guys family have alot of kids like mine it will be kind of hard to tell them they can't bring there kids.

I never considered that a venue might require a babysitter, so thank you for bringing that issue up!

My fiancé has 4 nephews, and a couple baby cousins, and there are kids on my side as well ... if my math is correct, 1/4 of our guest list is children. If I was in your shoes, I think I would pay for the babysitter because a) there's enough kids on our list to justify it, and b) the kids on our list are meaningful (I know J is super close with 2 of his nephews in particular, and they may even end up being a part of our wedding as like ring bearers or something).

If you didn't see an issue with having kids there before the unexpected cost (which, I know, weddings are expensive enough, it is important to consider all financial angles), ask yourself what would be added vs lost with having kids vs not having kids in attendance - make a 4-quadrant diagram to list all the scenarios, if that helps.

I am not doing children at my wedding other than my ring bearer (5 years old) and babies that are breastfed. It's definitely a cost-cutter to not have children.