Kids at the Wedding

You either invite them or you don’t. It’s not required for you to invite them unless you listed the children on the save the dates. You can’t invite them, say they’re welcome, and then force their parents to drop them off in a different building at a strange place with a stranger and also tell the parents they have to pay for that. If I were you, I’d remove that they’re welcome from your website and not invite them. It doesn’t sound like you actually want them there.

View Quoted Comment

Completely agree with this. You can't invite someone to your wedding then say that they aren't actually welcome at your wedding, but they have to sit in a different room with a stranger. You either want them there or you don't.

Many of my cousins and my FH's cousins have children. It could be about 10-20 kids at my wedding if they all come. I'm not having any sort of babysitting. It is up to the parents if they want to bring their kids and for them to entertain them or keep an eye on them. My mom has been talking to a few of my cousins suggesting that the wedding will go really late and if they want to stay the whole time they should get a sitter.

If you choose to have babysitting available at your venue it is on you to pay for it. Are you planning on charging parents for their children attending? Probably not.

You've already made the information available that the venue is open and near a road. If the parents can't come to a reasonable conclusion from that then it is on them.

Either invite them or do not invite them. Do not offer childcare you are not paying for.
Its better to not invite them and then have the parents arrange their own childcare if you don't want kids at the wedding.

We're springing for childcare. Our venue is a barn with two haylofts and we're setting up one as a kid's space and hiring a few sitters (depending on the RSVPs).

It's tacky to say you'll arrange it but then not pay for it.

View Quoted Comment

I did not say I was forcing them. Just offering.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks. Ours is the same with the hayloft.

I have been to several weddings where the parents got a babysitter in the hotel or at a friend's house and they paid for it. I actually have been a wedding babysitter before! The parents all paid me, but the bride helped coordinate. Seems strange that none of you have heard of this before.

I guess I can not help arrange it but they all live 5 hours away. I'll leave it to them to arrange it I guess.

You can't put conditions on inviting kids- you either invite them or you don't If you plan on inviting kids and they all come, then you're responsible for their care and activities.

We're only having 4 kids at our wedding: FG, 2 RBs and a friend's son. I'm making them all goodie bags and told the moms they are welcome to crash in the bridal suite where there's a TV and comfy couches.

View Quoted Comment

I'm responsible for care of all kids at the wedding? I've never heard this before. I think if they decide to bring them they can watch them.

View Quoted Comment

Okay, if they want to hire babysitters they can find them and pay for them on their own I guess. I've heard of hotel babysitters a lot but our hotel is 30 minutes away. Thought parents would want their kids closer.

It's not the popular opinion on these forums, but multiple moms have told me they are happy about it (one being a bridesmaid). Our venue has a kid's room with bean bags, a TV, and some games. I hired a nanny service that does weddings & events, and has worked at our wedding before. The company brings games and crafts for kids. They will be there from 5 PM - 8 PM (to cover ceremony & speeches & special dances). I just didn't want to risk kid's screaming or running around and ruining the few quiet special moments for the wedding, and the parents having nowhere to take them. If the parents stay past 8 PM, their kids obviously can't use the nanny since the nanny will leave. Our venue is a working equestrian center so tons of animals, heavy machinery, etc. and it isn't safe AT ALL for kids to roam around. I included an insert for parents with young kids and mentioned the venue information, optional nanny, and what the kids meal would be. Kids will be seated by their parents during the reception, and the nanny service/kids room is 100% optional. It's just a good alternative if kids get restless, tired, cranky, etc.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks! That's a good idea. I will see if there's a company like that near me.

View Quoted Comment

Traditionally yes, it's not a BBQ, but a wedding. When you invite kids to a wedding you are telling parents that you will be providing some level of care for them. Weddings and large groups of kids don't typically mix with accidents waiting to happen. If you don't wan to pay for it then don't invite kids.

Kids are people too. Did you address them on the save the date? If so, they are already invited. If you want a babysitter you should pay for it.

I'm weird about who watches my kids, and where. If parents want a kid free evening they will arrange that. Personally, we have a very kid friendly family. We are the last to get married. Literally everyone has kids. I'll be happy to have my neices and nephews there.

View Quoted Comment

No, I didn't.

I hired the church nanny to look after kids during the ceremony and set up some coloring books for them during the reception.

View Quoted Comment Only offer if you are paying.

As PP have said you either say yes or no to children. You cant say that some can and some cant come. For us, we are having no kids so we were very blunt on both our invites and our website telling our guests that this was an Adult only wedding. So you and FH need to decide soon before invites go out if you want all the children or no children there.

View Quoted Comment

I disagree with this. Maybe it's regional, though, which is possible.

I look at it like this: I'm inviting a family. It is that family's responsibility to watch their kids. If they don't want to do it themselves at a wedding, they should pay a sitter and leave them home. I would love the kids to come, and my wedding with not have any major hazards, but I'm not responsible for their health and wellbeing. Their parents are.

I’m also looking at potentially 30 or so kids at my wedding if everyone decides to bring them. On a few invitations (for friends and not cousins), I did not address the invitations to their children as well. However, I messaged the parents individually and let them know that if they want to bring their kids, they are welcome to do so. I bought a wedding coloring and activity book digitally on Etsy to print for the kiddos and will have a little goody bag with goldfish crackers, crayons, a candy necklace, and glow sticks. I will also have some toys and puzzles and things for different ages of kids. The parents are responsible for keeping track of their kiddos. Some of my cousins have opted to get a babysitter and leave their kids at home so they can enjoy the night out as adults. I’m also a teacher and love having kids around as well. It does potentially mean that I’ll have kids running around or crying or yelling at inopportune times, but to me, it’s worth it! I have great memories of going to weddings as a child. I’ve been a wedding babysitter at a venue before as well. I don’t have any issue with that, but I’m not planning on setting that up. I have an adorable (and wild) niece and nephews, so no matter what, I’ll have wild kiddos running around. Honestly, I love seeing kids running around having fun at weddings. At a certain point in the evening, it would be helpful if the kiddos head home to go to bed, but we can figure that out. Usually, I’m the one at weddings who is helping corral and play with all the kids. Unfortunately for my family, I won’t be available to do that and I think we’re all a little worried about that! Hahah! It will be great!