Kids at a evening wedding

Thank you all for your kind words and advice it makes me feel good I'm not alone in my feelings. I think to each their own maybe i would feel differently if I had a nice or nephew or a small sibling or cousin but the small children that would be coming would be my fiances cousins children so I was thinking maybe they wouldn't mind having a night out without the kiddos. Thank you again and happy planning

In the beginning of our planning we talked about doing an adult only reception and I still think it is a good idea however in our families kids are always at weddings. It would have been too much work to try to explain to everyone that the kids aren't welcome. Then we also had the problem that FH's family is much older than mine so he has cousins who's kids are already adults but most of my cousins kids are still kids. We didn't want to say well your kids can come but your kids cant.

I'm having an adults only wedding with the exception of two children: my son and the flower girl. I think people understand when you only include certain children who care immediate family. I'm offering babysitting for those who have to come in from out of town but I think most people want a night away from their kids. And if they don't, I understand, but the kids can't come.

All kids are invited to ours! I understand why some people aren't into that, and we've been invited to weddings where FH's daughter wasn't invited and were not in the slightest offended, but IMO the whole point of us getting married is so we are now officially family so it's silly to me to not let our guests bring their families, including their children. But like I said, I think adults-only receptions are cool too, so it's whatever works and feels right for you!

@JSARGE I am in the same situation. All of our family is out of town and I wouldn't expect them to arrange for a babysitter or leave them with someone they don't know. As for our friends they are either our parents friends or our friends, which only two invited have babies and they are both my BM so hopefully I will be able to work into some conversation (nicely) "hey you know your babies aren't invited!" lol

We are inviting children (and including them on invites by name)

I can't imagine not having children at the wedding but people have strong views about it on either side

Like others have said, just invite the parents. But if parents have multiple kids, don't only invite the ones over 16 and exclude the younger ones. All or none.

ETA: I am totally pro adult-only weddings, especially evening ones.

For someone asking about having other family gatherings, some families dont... our family gets together for weddings and funerals. even then its not everyone. holidays are just my brothers families and my parents. sometimes we go to fh's brothers later on but that depends on how much he has had to drink. lol.

We were married at 7pm on a Friday night, we extended the invite to kids of first cousins and immediate family only, and most chose to get sitters on their own. We only have four kids (ages 8-11) and one baby (still nursing). Of course the baby got taken upstairs shortly after dinner and the other four kids had each other to play with so it was fine, two of them were also in the wedding so it was kind of nice that they at least had two other kids to play with. With reception starting at 8:30, most people have the sense that that is bedtime! and planned accordingly.

Same here adult only wedding with the exception of my son and FH little brother who are the Jr. Best Mans. The venue is super upscale and the wedding is going to start kind of late

I'm sort of a nut about etiquette and the polite way to do things, so while I could not care less whether or not a couple chooses to invite children, it DOES annoy me to see "Adult Reception," "No Children," and the like written on an invitation, and I don't even have kids!

It's rude to point out who is excluded. Simply address the invitation to those who are being invited. You may have one or two people who mistakenly assume the invitation is for the whole family, but I'd rather make a slightly awkward phone call than print something rude and improper on my wedding invitation.

It is super tacky to put "adult invitation" on an invitation. Also, be careful not to split up families. If a family has 3 kids and 1 is over 16, but the other 2 aren't, you need to invite all or none.

Between the 2 of us we have 14 nieces and nephews that we absolutely want there! We have been together for over 7 yrs, will be 8 by the time the wedding comes... they have always been "our" nieces and nephew's (most of them can't remember having an Aunt Crystal without an Aunt Angie) and I can't imagine our day without them! Little cousins and such I could care less, but I can't say no kids and only have our nieces and nephews there.

I think this is a tough decision for most couples. And a pretty big and personal one because of preferences. I absolutely want no kids at my wedding. We plan on having no kids in our marriage so why at the wedding? BUT our siblings have kids now (all under 10 at time of wedding) and I know our parents will have strokes if the kiddies aren't invited. So we are limiting it to nieces, nephews and direct underage cousins for those aunts and uncles that reproduced later in life. No friends' kids are invited. No cousins kids either. And most tell us they weren't planning on bringing their kids anyway. But doing that cut out about 30 kids. That's a lot!!!

Our friends are a pretty rowdy crowd, but most people with kids will most likely leave earlier in the evening. Then we are having an after party.

I like kids at family events..so I am having a kid event. If that isn't your thing then don't invite them. It is all personal preference.

Thank you all SO MUCH for all the wonderful comments and suggestions. I am having an evening wedding for my daughter in a downtown Boston hotel that is formal. It is plated, there is wine service at the table as well as a bar, waiter passed hors d'oeurves, etc. It is not a great venue for kids. The invitations were sent to Mr. & Mrs., not & Family. Some are asking about bringing small children, but I don't feel this is appropriate. I particularly liked Rachel's comment when she said kids would enjoy it as much as an adult would enjoy a Disney themed birthday party. I would think parents would enjoy having an adults only evening out and kids would get tired and cranky at a late night affair. Children were NEVER included in weddings on my side of the family, however it is different in my husband's family. I didn't even bring my children to my own brother's wedding. I didn't think it was a good place for them because they were too young. I was even asked if I wanted my daughter to be a flower girl, but declined the offer. As much as I would have loved that, I felt she was too young and may not cooperate fully. She was 3yrs 10 months at the time. Although some people are in favor of bringing young children, it looks like the majority think it's not a great idea and for very, very good reasons. Thank you to all.