Kids and Bridal Party

As someone who attended a wedding where my daughter was not invited, but yet there were tons of other children in attendance, I was miffed. I was pregnant with our second and my first born had never spent a night away from us so we drove two hours to the wedding then left around 8:30-9 pm before the wedding was over to get back home the two hours to our daughter that my mom was watching for us while we were gone. It was extremely frustrating and I very clearly remember my husband being rather upset with his friend (groom) for not allowing our daughter to attend. There were probably 20+ of children in attendance. I think if you are going to have a bunch of other children in attendance than you should allow them to bring their children. If the only children in attendance are in the bridal party then I think it's okay, but I wouldn't allow your entire family to bring their kids and single out your friends children.

I personally think immediate family/bridal party are exceptions to the "no kid" rule.

View Quoted Comment I wasn't going to allow any more than just my nieces and nephews. All but 1 of which are under 3 years old.
My worry is how pissed 2 of our groomsmen would be if we kept to the "only family" rule, since they also have kids, and 1 of them doesn't really have the money or resources for a babysitter. My fiancé thinks we have to just make it so "only bridal party members" bring their kids so we can include their kids too and prevent hurt feelings, but I feel like that's harder to defend to the rest of the guest list that isn't allowed to have kids.

Are the kids IN the bridal party or just children of the bridal party? I would keep it to just kids in the bridal party (like ring bearers and flower girls). Otherwise, other guests will be frustrated that others got to bring their kids. That’s going to cause way more hurt feelings than not allowing the kids of bridal party members.

View Quoted Comment Half of our nieces and nephews are in the bridal party. 2 of them are too little and were born after I had asked. One currently isn't even born yet and wont be for another few months. All of them have parents that will be part of the bridal party. One has their sibling in in the bridal party.


My niece and nephew are flower and ring.His niece from his sister is flower but his nephew from his sister was too young His middle bother also has a child,but he's only a month older than his sisters boy. He's also the one expecting.
I don't think we can just invite just one of his sisters kids without having the other siblings kid there being pissed off that his kids weren't included, nor can we only have 1 sibling there from a package of 2.

A flower girl or ring bearer is supposed to be an already invited child guest special to you, not an autimatic exception based only on the role. I would not exclude a flower girl’s siblings or close family children on that basis.


Once you make exceptions for one friend’s child or children that’s when I think you can run into some resentment. But under the circumstances I think helping them find childcare or providing it nearby would be appropriate, especially if it may mean his wife can’t attend.