Kiddos at the wedding

I think it would depend on the vibe of your wedding, as well as space/budget constraints. We had a very formal and expensive evening wedding in a fancy ballroom, so having an adults-only wedding was a given. If I were having a wedding at a barn venue or a more backyard BBQ-style wedding, then I'd probably have a very different opinion on inviting kids!

Pros: family time, cute pictures, hugs
Cons: cost extra, get cranky and grumpy, require separate kids menu and serving times, change the tone of the night (adults won't act the same when kifs are there, though maybe this is a pro)

I was fine having them for reception but for ceremony I had an area with the church nanny to watch over them during because I just didn’t want the off chance of disruption and also that just worked out better anyway for children - pretty sure they’d rather be in a room full of toys

I couldn’t imagine not having kids at the wedding! I’ve been to both child friendly and child free weddings, and I prefer when kids are there. They have so much fun and are super adorable dancing! My brother’s wedding did not include children, and it caused a lot of issues in my family. I have six nieces/nephews, and they live in other states. Their parents traveling here without them would be difficult.
Our venue also charges less for kids, though. 0-4 year olds are free, 5-12 year olds are half price, and 13-20 year olds are the cost of food but not the bar.
Overall, in my situation, it isn’t worth it to exclude them.

In our families, regardless of formality, kids are invited because they are seen as family events. An adult only event would get you barred from all future gatherings. However those children are very well behaved. Also, kids invited need to be consistent. Anyone at the ceremony is also at reception or else leave them at home. And don't play favorites with allowing flowergirl/ringbearer only while everyone else has to find childcare.

The only times I have seen unruly children are with parents who refuse to discipline them for anything who are wild to begin with.

But we both love kids and they don't cost that muchbextra. We would rather have more kids in attendance if need be than some adults we have no intention of inviting.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Hanna that the vibe and formality of the event can change drastically with whether children are invited. If you want more of a family vibe, then inviting kids is great. If you want more of a party vibe where your guests with children can relax and “let loose”, then no kids is the way to go! Also, formal events are usually adult only. The only real “pro” to having children at a wedding would be your desire to have them there. The cons would be that children are unpredictable and could disrupt or cause a scene during your ceremony. It would also mean that your guests who are parents will leave early because children have bed times and can get cranky when up too late (unless you would like to have an early end time to your reception, in which case it would be a pro!). Including kids also means a higher head count and more expenses.

We’re inviting kids. We’re not going for an adults only vibe, though. We both enjoy children and think they’ll be a cool part of the celebration - we’ll have a table set up for activities.
Our wedding is afternoon - ceremony at 2 pm. Evening weddings probably have a different esthetic though.

Pros are the cute pictures of this kids, more people able to attend, and more of a family atmosphere.
Con kids are a lot of work, they get cranky, temper tantrums, can mess things up (for instance I was at a wedding where the one kid ruined the cake), got to have kids meals that will probably go to waste, and parents are

Sorry I wasn't done with my reply and accidentally tapped reply.


Con parents not parenting their kids, when alcohol goes down parents lack on the responsibility of their children. Which means you will end up with some unruly kids
We are not having kids at our wedding the only exception is the kids in the wedding. I personally don't believe a wedding is any place for kid's other than the ones in the wedding and sometimes thats questionable.

I'm not a fan of it, for my cuture (American). Many ppl do not discipline their children

I honestly think its a cool thing to have kids there! I grew up going to weddings from a young age and have that same situation with my wedding. There was always a table of coloring, puzzles, bubbles, and they love dancing. I get some people dont like it and no hate for that but I wouldnt want to exclude anyone from my family even if they are 6 years old

We’re having a no children ceremony/reception except those that are in the ceremony. The weddings I’ve been to that have kids are horrible- kids running, screaming & chasing each other. Not feeling it when it’s treated like a playground. Plus the added expense.

We're pro-kids-at-weddings, but we also hired a babysitter to help out, and expected families with small children to leave early.

It really depends on the formality, the venue, and your comfort level.

I dont think kids should be at the reception. I have 6 kids and they will be involved in the actual ceremony but are leaving after pictures are done.

We're not having kids at our wedding. Mostly because, there isn't a kids meal price for our catering and that would add up quick, and my family tends to treat weddings as day care -- so no thanks.

So far, no one has gotten upset. I already have 2 cousins saying they can't come because they can't find a babysitter (our wedding is this October). But it hasn't upset me or my FH. We just want our day to be relaxing as well as relaxing for our guests. And we worded it that way on our wedding website. We want our family and friends with kids to enjoy a night out.

I will tell you, having been a wedding vendor: regardless of how the adults feel, children don't want to be at your wedding.

In five years at weddings almost every weekend, I never once saw one that included children that didn't end in at least two complete meltdown tantrums. Some worse than others, some better timed than others. But there was always some.

Weddings are full day affairs, even for guests. They are hours long, and those are hours the kids are expected to be quiet and behave - at a minimum, for your ceremony, the first dance, the parent dances, and the speeches. (No one wants a toddler screaming during the bride-father dance, or during grandpa's speech.) That is literally hours of the night.

Weddings are usually WAY past children's bedtimes. That means a bunch of cranky, unhappy kids who want to be at home near the end of the night. They may not all want to be in bed, but they sure as heck don't want to be at a wedding where they are in uncomfortable clothes around a bunch of people they don't know.

My most recent wedding, the kids ended up dumped in the bridal suite right after the ceremony (which four of them screamed and cried near the end of because they were sick of sitting quietly), crying and munching on cold leftover fries from the bridal party lunches just to halfway placate them. The grandmother of the bride ended up saddled with nanny duties and missed the entire cocktail hour and the first dance.

If you're going to have kids present, unless by "kids" you mean 12+ years old, I think it's important to have a (supervised) place for them to go. They need somewhere they can go take a nap if they're tired, or just go sit away from the adults and the chaos for a while.

But honestly, I think most weddings, kiddos are best left out. Weddings are not what kids consider fun. You're forcing them to sit through 6+ hours of stuff that they don't understand, that means absolutely nothing to them, when they'd rather be at a friend's house playing.

I have been to like 25 wedding weddings in the last few years and only one time can i remember kiddos being even slightly annoying (they were running around during the first dance....but a couple of them were the bride/grooms kids and they didn't seem to mind at all). Literally no other horror stories. If kids are tired, their parents will deal with it. Idk, i dont' personally get the big deal with ppl hating kids at weddings.

That said, you certainly don't HAVE to invite kids or even the kids of everyone-but don't split up families. For example, if you had 3 kids age 16, 10, and 5 it's really rude to invite your 16 and maybe 10 year old but not the 5 year old. Either have a true adults only (18+, everyone would get their own invite) or invite kids.

Also totally fine to invite in "Circle" so like, kids of your/FI's siblings, but no others.

We're inviting one kid which will be my nephew who is also going to be ring bearer, if he weren't included I'm not confident his parents would show as all their trusted sitters will be at our wedding.

We're not inviting our Future Niece/Nephew who is due in May of this year (our wedding is September of next year) I talked to my Future SIL who stated she doesn't want to be a mom at a wedding she's invited to, so baby will stay with grandparents that night lol .

Besides my nephew the youngest guest will be 16, its my FH cousin, and we wouldn't imagine having our wedding without her, and she's mature enough to not act out lol.

Most of my friends and family members have very young children. We’re also doing a destination wedding. So odds are if I chose to have a child-free wedding, the majority of my VIP guest list would decline because it would be too much for them to try to figure out childcare. 5 years ago, my younger sister specifically excluded children under the age of 12. She and her now husband were 23, and most of their friends didn’t have kids yet, so it wasn’t a massive deal. The only exception was our 2 month old nephew, and he was an angel the whole night thankfully! She had a few people decline because they didn’t want or couldn’t find a sitter, and she was okay with that.

View Quoted Comment Wow, you bring up so many good points! We were pretty sure we would be having an adult only affair anyway, but after reading your post there is ZERO doubt about it now! Thank you for sharing your experiences!