Kid restrictions by age?

Yes but it can cause problems if there are siblings that just miss the cut

I think it works best when it is a pretty high age like 16, 18, or 21 then when you have to explain to a friend/family member why say an 8 year old nephew is okay but 6 year old niece is not

We don't have a sibling issue since no one invited to our wedding has kids less than 8 and over 8 (small wedding so we lucked out there). Basically we have to group of people, those with kids over 8 (up to teenage years as siblings), and those with kids under 2 lol.

Have you ever been a nursing mother? It's not convenient to be away for hours at a time without needing to nurse or pump. Can you accommodate them? Will you be upset if they leave early because they need to nurse? Typically, the babies are fine at weddings. It's the toddlers and grade school age kids that make the noise.

As long as you aren't splitting families up it's not against etiquette. You can invite some kids and not others. But being officially correct per the rule books does not mean people won't be offended or hurt. I can almost promise you that when Cousin Sarah has to find a babysitter for little Joey and then shows up to find a bunch of other kids there, hurt feelings are virtually inevitable.

I've heard babies scream or cry during ceremonies (and church services_- that was what I was trying to avoid. And those tended to be under two years old, not over 8. I know it's inconvenient, and I'm ok if they leave early, but if it's super rude I will change my policy.

@H- are you saying that a no kids policy would always be rude? Or that it would be rude if one sibling came but another couldn't? (which wouldn't be a situation for us with my current 8 year old cut off plan since we don't have families with kids above and under the cutoff).

No kids or all kids in my opinion per family, so you don't break up families. We are going to verbally invite our cousins kids, who will be about a year old but we highly doubt they will even be coming to the wedding. The rest of the kids in our family are 6 and up.

Also I'd say it's kind of rude not to give wp members with young infants or kids the choice

They're doing a lot that day but to ask them to pay for and find a sitter on top of it should definitely be up front in advance

Also as someone else said under 6 months is tricky as a lot of parents may not have left the child, still be breastfeeding, etc.

Technically it's always your choice but I'd be kind of upset if my friend wanted me to spend money to be in her wedding but was adamant that my hypothetical infant child less than 6 months not be anywhere near the big day. Even if I agreed I probably wouldn't go to the reception. Is that something you're willing to risk? The wedding is two months away so that's quite something to spring on a new parent bridesmaid/groomsman relatively last minute

We had 6 kids at our wedding ranging from 2 to 12 years old. They were all children of WP members. My nephew, the 2 year old, got fussy towards the beginning of the ceremony and his dad quietly took him into the hallway. I didn't know about it until my sister told me at dinner. I was super worried about having kids at the wedding, but once everything was said and done it didn't matter at all. The younger kids ran around the dance floor during dinner and were so tired that they slept most of the night through the party. Most parents are responsible enough to not let their kids act out in public and especially at a special function like a wedding.

In other words, I'm glad I didn't restrict parents from bringing their kids. I totally understand the concern because I worried about it a lot leading up to the wedding. In my case having kids attend didn't make or break the wedding.

I don't know if it makes a difference, but the only female WP with a kid is the one who wanted a babysitter, voluntarily. The others are male (groomsmen) and they both have parents close by to the wedding (grandparents to the kids) who wouldn't typically get to see the children since they live farther away and have baby sat when we as adults would do things at night previously. The only other kids that are over 8 are family, the kids of the WP aren't family (so it would technically be inviting family kids but not WP kids- which does seem rude phrased that way I realize). But I'm now leaning toward inviting the babies too and just hoping no screaming during a ceremony.

I think @Asta has a point. Having an age cutoff feels cold and arbitrary. But you don't have to look at it that way, and you don't have to tell others an arbitrary age. It's fine to decide that John and Jane's kids are invited but Greg and Anne's aren't, and it's fine to make that decision because Greg and Anne's kids are really young or really annoying or really ill-behaved or whatever.

I'm not allowing any besides out of town family. They may choose to leave with relatives in town though. Most people get most weddings aren't the place for kids. The others, hold your ground.

I say all or nothing. Otherwise you will have people that feel singled out.

I personally do not want babies, so other than the children in the wedding party...nope.

I am making the RSVP cards number restrictive. As in, "we have reserved 2 spaces in your honor". No, I do not want to invite Ted and Emily and have their four children brought as well. I am sorry, my reception is going to be an adult affair and I do not need to be worried about little ears and eyes all night long.

The WP children are going to a suite upstairs with a sitter once dinner is over. My wedding and my decision...I will be sending out save the dates well enough in advance for anyone to find a sitter and will be making sure word of mouth gets out there that it is an adult affair.

I don't know if this would help your situation, but we are doing it by relationship not age. We are allowing our siblings' kids (FH's brother doesn't have any, I have 9 ages 8 - 20). We are inviting first cousins, but not our cousins' kids (FH has 2 cousins under 18 so they are in, I have a cousin with a 30-year old daughter, she's not invited as she is the child of a cousin). We are not inviting any of our friends' kids, but one of my BM is a single mom and often has issues with childcare. I told her all the BP gets a plus one and if she needs to bring her son (he's 11) as her plus one, I'm ok with that.

I would just say no one under 18.

Honestly if you don't want some kids I would say no kids (18 and under) but even still If it would spilt a family then only invite their parents.

Thanks guys, the WP with kids are friends, not family. The only family kids are kids of cousins (FH and I's siblings don't have kids), but I think I'll just invite them all and hope the 15 month, 3 month, and 6 month babies don't make too much fuss during the ceremony! I'm ok with noise during the reception and they are certainly welcome during pictures and getting ready. I was just concerned about babies that old during a 6:30pm ceremony. But if they scream, they scream. I'm pretty sure I can hear my FH and I say vows and that's all that matters! I would be interested if anyone has had a lot of infants at a wedding and how it turned out or advice! Everyone seems to have older kids (above 2) from what I've seen and I don't know much about babies!

I always laugh at the “kids will cry/scream during my ceremony”

I’ve not heard one baby cry or scream during any of my church services, and if they get restless, one parent always steps out with the into the hallway.

It’s rude to pick and choose which kids to invite, ie: Karen’s kids are invited because they’re well behaved, but not Tina’s children. . Do it in circles, the 8yr old age cut off is weird, and makes zero sense.

@HisBeauty- I have hear lots of kids cry/scream during services, and yes parents generally take them out but not always or sometimes there isn't a good place to go (like it it's raining outside), so I understand. I wouldn't want to take my kid out of a ceremony if I had them- if they are there, they are there for better or worse.

I didn't mean it to necessary be an age cut off, it just happened that our family only has kids above 8 and I had never worried about them making too much noise during a ceremony so I had never thought to not invite them (they are family), but I had also not pictured babies at an evening, open bar wedding. Our WP recently had children so the babies while I have been around them have screamed or cried a lot because it's what they do- they are babies.

But I've decided to invite them all. I know most parents of babies aren't going to stay late for an evening reception so I don't except them to stay long either way- if there kids were there or not. I just want them to have a good time while they are there!

I would make it kids or no kids.