As many do, we are having issues with kids and exceptions on our guest list and could use some advice.
I'll preface by saying this is just an invitation to the reception. (The ceremony is an elopement beforehand.) So there's no need for a bridal party.
When we made the list, we realized, there would be about 30-40 kids if we invited everyone's kids so that was not an option. The room can't even seat this many people so we cut the friends' kids first. This got the kids list down to around 20. Still too many. Then we cut the generation of "adult children" below us in his family. This got us down to 10. Still too many.
When we considered immediate family only, it would have only been 1 kid but I wasn't willing to cut my cousin's kids I am close to. (Also, they are flying internationally to come.) They also begged us to make them flower girls. Thus... my cousin's kids were made flower girls for a non-existent ceremony. We're basically just making up a flower-related role for them at the reception. So we settled on 3 kids and sent out the save the date and set up the wedding website.
Now, the invitations have not gone out yet but my fiance and his dad are insistent we invite his cousin's young son without inviting any of the other kids in the family (all of the kids currently being excluded are on his side). His cousin's wife won't be able to come unless they can bring their kid (They would also need to fly here). Out of the 10ish kids cut (all teens), this cousin (the dad of the kid) is the only one my fiance is close to. The other teens/kids, he hasn't seen in years, if ever. He hasn't spoken to their parents/those cousins in years. I said it's really hard to make an exception to one kid but on the other hand, we created roles for the kids on my side as a loophole so how can I say no to him? Fiance says he and his dad are willing to take the blame and his dad is willing to explain it personally to anyone who questions this rule/exception.
So right now our choices are:
1. Make the exception and say "No kids unless they're little kids of our relatives (age 8 and younger)." Let my future father-in-law do the explaining that might be needed.
2. Find another made up role for this boy. Anyone have any ideas?
3. Find another loophole.
4. Say no and face the possible wrath of my father-in-law for the rest of my life. Aka not really an option.
What are your thoughts on these choices? If anyone has any good ideas for exceptions, I'm all ears!
