Kid Dilemma

You don't, not without being rude at least. Kids are typically an all or nothing thing, or at least limited to immediate family. I don't think there's any way to invite some of your friend's children and not others without upsetting people.

I agree, when some kids are invited and others aren't, it feels like a personal slight if your kids didn't make the cut.

Whoever you put on the envelope is who is invited, children included. Just be ready to potentially have friends decline invites- it can be hard/expensive to get babysitters.

We only invited the kids that we really know. Of course I'm going to allow our family friends that we vacation with to bring their children. My coworkers 13 year old that I have literally never met? Probably not. I really don't foresee this being a problem for us but if it is, oh well! I can't accommodate everyone.

If it were wedding party kids then I would understand but not way you could do it and not offend some people. I am like you where i am the last of my friends getting married and most of my friends have multiple kids. I am just doing adults only events. Less heads to feed plus I do not want myself or any adults to feel like they need to filter themselves around little ones. Love them but want adult time only. Many can find a babysitter if needed.

We are only inviting children that we have bonds with , we understand that some people will be upset because their children are not allowed but at the end of the day it’s our wedding and if we get a few no’s because of it then it is what it is. We really don’t want to be mean and definitely love kids , but we are trying to be conscious of our budget. I think if you’re worried you should give your friends a heads up if only some kids are invited. Best of luck!

Agree that you can’t tactfully invite some people’s children and not others. My guideline with kids was they needed to have the same last name as me or actively be attached to a boob (we’re getting married in February and will have 5 friends with babies less than 2 months old by then).

My fiance and I opted to not invite children, but he still wanted his nephews to attend so we asked them to be ring bearers. A friend of mine did the same, no kids but she had 5 children in her wedding party as flower girls/junior bridesmaids/ring bearers/etc. That's the only way I could think to do it without possibly offending someone IF you were only looking to invite a few children.

Other than that, inviting family children but not your friend's children is another way to go about it that most people are understanding of. Best of luck!

You don't. It is either invite them all or invite none of them. Otherwise, you will be picking and choosing which will cause hurt feelings.

Keep in mind that for plated meals you only have to include certain age groups (for us 3-12) and generally the kids meal is much cheaper for you and they are not included in open bar if you are having one (our venue does a soda charge). Still cost per plate but not as much as an adult.

The only widely accepted exception to the "invite all or none" rule are children in your family. So if there are any children related to you that you feel should be there, than they can attend without ruffling as many feathers. However, if you invite one friend's kids but not another's, feelings will get hurt and some people may choose to skip the wedding altogether. For non-family, stick to the all or none rule.

We're doing an adult's only wedding, and we definitely had some unkindness from some of the affected people! That said, whatever you decide to do, it must be firm. Talk with your partner and decide what you want to do.

We also were trying to keep our guest list down to a very small size, so I know how you feel! That said, it really is best if you go all or none. Invite some kids and people will think that you don't like theirs. The only time you can really get around this is if the children are in the wedding ceremony itself. Just prepare yourself now for the less-than-friendly comments (make yourself like steel!) and be very clear in your wording.

Good luck to you!

I think it is either all or nothing... or immediate family and no children and friends.. im sorry gal

We have the same dilema with about 60 kids between both our lists. What we are doing is addressing the rsvp with their names specifically and stating we have 2 seats reserved for you.
So, at that point no ones feelings should get hurt if they see other kids there. We also have our immediate families kids, plus 2 friends that are bringing their 1 kid. But cousins and other family and friends kids will not be invited.
This was such a hard decision to make, but I just had to keep reminding myself, that this day is about me and my fiancé.. and I would hope they respect our decision.. and if not..It will be there choice if your wedding is important enough to get a sitter and come.