Kicking out a bridesmaid

Yikes. Why did you choose her? Are you friends?

View Quoted Comment She was dating my fiancés brother for a few years but she randomly broke up with him. We got along but we definitely weren’t close. I thought I was doing the right thing but sadly I didn’t.

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If you aren't friends just tell her. "Due to our current relationship you are no longer in the party."

Definitely should only have people you are close to up there. Don't feel obligated to pick someone because you think it's "nice"

It's too bad you asked her so early. Things really do change so much over 2 years.

Is she friends with anyone else in the wedding party? Would you get blowback from anyone if you asked her not to continue in the party? It doesn't sound like she's done anything wrong except break up with your FI's brother.

If you're OK with ending the friendship with her, then I guess just ask her. Is there any chance they will get back together in the next year?

Yikes you definitely asked the wrong person and way too early. Bridal partisa should never be asked as far in advance as you asked due to possible changes in relationships as you are now seeing. I would recommend just nicely saying that due to recent events you've decided that you aren't comfortable with her being a bridesmaid anymore.

Removing someone from your wedding party is typically a friendship-ending move. Is she someone who you still are good friends with even after her breakup with your soon-to-be brother-in-law, or someone who you still want to be friends with? If not, you could tell her that your friendship has drifted, and that given the situation, you feel it would be best for her to step down from your wedding party.

That was really sweet of you in the first place to ask her, but for the reasons you stated it seems appropriate to take back the invitation. The other question is whether she’s still invited to your wedding at all- my guess is no… So you probably should be prepared to clarify that too.


You could be direct and kind- just explain that you asked her to be a bridesmaid out of goodwill for your new family and partners, but now that they broke up it doesn’t feel appropriate or comfortable for you anymore & thanks for the support thus far. Even if you were cool w her, I’m not sure what the family dynamics are but maybe your future BIL’s comfort around you as future SIL is a higher priority than the lukewarm friendship w her? You could ask your FH for his thoughts too.
Whether she takes it smoothly or not… this too shall pass!

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I agree with this. Since you aren't worried about maintaining a friendship after the wedding, just be up front with her. If she has spent any money on your wedding already, offer to reimburse her.

It's totally appropriate to uninvite her just based on the fact that they broke up. Tell her it's nothing personal and that it's only due to the fact that you had ti make the decision to put family first.