Raelin
Dedicated September 2018

Keeping planning private? Or sharing with friends and family?

Raelin, on July 17, 2017 at 10:08 AM Posted in Planning 0 27
Saved
Reply

I've seen multiple blogs and stuff that say "don't let everyone in on your planning, don't let more than 3 people see your dress/ go dress shopping, etc." Basically, keep your wedding planning to yourself and your moh and mom or whatever. But I have a particularly large group of very close friends and family, and so far, I've had a hard time keeping the people I involve in my wedding planning adventures to a minimum. No one is pushy about it, but I just like including people that are important to me. Which is a pretty large group (more than 10). I know that this can be seen as a no no, but I'm curious how many people you all shared your wedding planning fun with! (Dress shopping, venue touring, decoration making, etc)

27 Comments

Latest activity by Tricia, on July 17, 2017 at 10:14 PM
  • SmileyBride
    Expert October 2017
    SmileyBride ·
    • Flag

    I was very open to everyone in the beginning.. but then I found myself second guess everything, and then people were giving tons of suggestions my head was spinning! So I stopped over sharing and it was for the best! What I did do was check in with my aunt and mom on few things and they helped me edit some of my ideas.

    • Reply
  • Keisha
    Master September 2018
    Keisha ·
    • Flag

    If people ask I tell them. The odds of them actually remembering the details are slim. People give their opinions I listen nod and move on. It doesn't affect my planning in any way.

    • Reply
  • xray12280
    Master June 2017
    xray12280 ·
    • Flag

    I didn't share with many people. My dress I showed to people not invited to the wedding, who also wouldn't weren't expecting an invite (coworkers/acquaintances), my mom and mil, and bridesmaids. Other wedding planning I only shared with those that needed to know the details. I wanted people to be surprised. Also the more you share the more unwelcome opinions and suggestions you will receive. I shared here and occasionally would post something on social media, like "cake tasting today", "x number of days to go".

    • Reply
  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
    • Flag

    I have a large friend group! However, I kept my planning stuff off social media (just posted e-pics and as it got closer to the wedding date, a couple of countdown statuses). As far as sharing details it was basically, only if people ask. You don't want to sound obnoxious by talking about your wedding day all the time! I invited all of my BMs to wedding dress shopping appointments, only if they wanted to/could come. However, I know my group -- they are honest BUT very supportive, and I knew they wouldn't make me second-guess myself.

    • Reply
  • stephanie
    Super October 2017
    stephanie ·
    • Flag

    I have only involved mom, dad, FMIL, MOH, and to a lesser extent my mom's friend, my brother, and my SIL.

    I think you're fine to include anyone who is interested. Who cares how many people see your dress beforehand? I suspect the reason for keeping it limited is more so you don't have a ton of competing opinions pulling you in all directions. If you know what you want or can sort of "tune out" what you know you aren't interested in, I think you're fine to involve as many people as you want.

    • Reply
  • Julia
    Devoted September 2017
    Julia ·
    • Flag

    I've shared with my parents obviously, my future in-laws, my fiance (did not spoil dress surprise and the like though), and my MOH and bridesmaids. If anyone else I know asks casual questions on how things are going, I give basic answers. I've told a few people my wedding colors and that the reception is going to have a touch of vintage etc.

    • Reply
  • Raelin
    Dedicated September 2018
    Raelin ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, I've pretty much tried to keep wedding planning off of social media besides the occasional engagement pic (I've been engaged for a little over a month, so I'm still freaking out and gushing) and countdowns and stuff. I'm weary to post "said yes to the dress" when I do find my dress just because of all the people who will inevitably comment or message wanting a pic or something. Lol

    • Reply
  • Jennifer VR
    VIP April 2017
    Jennifer VR ·
    • Flag

    I shared a lot with my colleague who I share an office with, my mom and my MOH - mostly because they were totally supportive and wanted to hear about my plans.

    I learnt early on not to share anything with FMIL because anything I told her, she would have a different "better" idea, and it put me down a lot. So in the end, I kept her in the dark as much as possible.

    I kept absolutely everything about my wedding and planning off social media until after our wedding, and also my wedding board on pinterest was private.

    ETA:

    Touring Venues / visiting vendors / expo's - only DH and I

    Wedding dress shopping - bridesmaid & 1 close friend

    Decoration making - only me, and my mom came over night and helped me with a bunch of stuff when she got into the country

    • Reply
  • TheWrightGirl
    Super November 2017
    TheWrightGirl ·
    • Flag

    I've only been sharing when necessary. I've only shown my dress to a few people. When people ask about the process, I give a general statement of how far along I've gotten or what I still have left to do. I don't particularly share the details of what I've done with everyone.

    • Reply
  • EngineerInLove
    VIP September 2018
    EngineerInLove ·
    • Flag

    I never bring up my wedding in conversation, and usually it's kept to very high level details of when and where, plus which vendors we've already booked. Some will ask about colors and I show them our palette, others ask about wedding party members ("I haven't asked yet!") or what food we're doing ("we haven't done our tasting yet but it will definitely be an open bar!") I don't mean to be cold, but I have some very opinionated friends and, frankly, I don't want their opinions. I give them as few opportunities to tell me about the mashed potato bar we HAVE to have, or the centerpieces that they hate, or what favors we should get. FMIL and my mom are the only ones we've talked to about any details so far because they're both excited about the details, but even that I'm keeping to a minimum for now.

    • Reply
  • na&na
    Super November 2017
    na&na ·
    • Flag

    I'm only sharing everything with my parents, MOH, FH and one FSIL. Everyone else is getting a carefully planned answer. My other 3 BM's are getting the most details, because they're my closest friends after MOH, FH's other 2 siblings and my cousins and aunts are getting the "oh... planning is going great, there are lots of things to consider and sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming, but we're on track". And then there are some coworkers who maybe heard it somewhere and try to fish for information, they just get a small laugh

    • Reply
  • MrsC2B
    Expert December 2017
    MrsC2B ·
    • Flag

    I share details with only two kinds of people:

    1. Those who genuinely want to know

    2. Those whose advice I am going to respect.

    Some people just inquire about wedding plans to be polite and they get bored if they hear too many details. Some are genuinely interested, but their advice makes me second-guess myself.

    So I share, but I pick and choose who I share with.

    • Reply
  • Makela
    Expert October 2017
    Makela ·
    • Flag

    @A- I am with you on that

    • Reply
  • Jillian
    Master June 2019
    Jillian ·
    • Flag

    Basically the quote I always read here is so true. "Nobody is as excited about your wedding as you are!" In the beginning I was telling my sisters and bff everything and wasn't getting the reaction I was looking for. It hurt but I literally repeat this quote in my head all the time! We have now booked a few exciting vendors but I don't say anything unless someone asks! It is what it is!

    • Reply
  • LoveLoveLove
    Super October 2017
    LoveLoveLove ·
    • Flag

    I've been mostly quiet about wedding planning, except with FH. I'm always concerned that I will be overwhelming/annoying so I don't share. I also found that the more I talked about planning, the more unsolicited advice I received. Now, I'm mostly vague and ask for advice/suggestions when I need it.

    I agree with the comment "nobody is as excited about your wedding as you are".

    • Reply
  • MS. MACMEN
    VIP March 2018
    MS. MACMEN ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't share too much. I was really open about it with my family and FH's family at first. The thing is, everyone has different tastes and opinions that may or may not be the same as yours. For me, it was an added stress trying to navigate all those opinions, and I found myself disappointed when they didn't share in my excitement when I really liked something and they didn't. I'd keep your Planning to a very small group

    • Reply
  • LaKesha
    Super May 2017
    LaKesha ·
    • Flag

    I was open with a lot of my planning but my dress was a secret. Didn't show anyone. Everyone was so shocked. I've been married almost 2 months and it's still the topic of conversation at my job

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super November 2017
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    I started off with a whole bunch of friends, the bridal party, my family and his family... then I was so overwhelmed. As the day gets closer, I cannot deal with the "you should've bought" or "you should've done this"... it was becoming more frustrating than helpful. So I've narrowed it down to kinda my mom, kinda FH, and a lot more of the vendors. When people ask now, I tell them everything is done (it is sooooo not) and that I'm not even stressed about it (yeah right, but I have gotten so much unsolicited advice even about how to relax!- I.e. A lady at work sent me a link to her friend who sells oils and was going to talk to her so she could sell me calming oils. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate her efforts, but I just can't deal with that right now...) I am definitely private about it now!

    • Reply
  • Ella
    Super August 2017
    Ella ·
    • Flag

    A lot of my friends are interested in discussing details (because its fun, and they like weddings), but the only people i am asking for opinions on how things should go are FH, my mom, and his mom.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag

    We're keeping it private for now. As I delve further into planning it may change. Certain aspects we're keepers my a complete surprise. Smiley smile

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics